Children camping alone in garden - AIBU

[UserA]

A close friend has asked if my dc, aged 10, 12 & 13 would like to camp in her garden (socially distanced of course!) with her dc, both aged 11 - but alone, with the parents sleeping in the house. Apparently her dc have done it a few times over lockdown. I was fairly surprised and I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with mine sleeping outside alone. We both have fairly large gardens which aren’t particularly enclosed, as in not backing onto other houses as such. Recently there have been some sexual assaults/flashing episodes in the area, which makes me even more uneasy.. dc obviously annoyed that I haven’t agreed! So, AIBU - would you agree to them camping out alone?

The thing that bothers me most about Sophie hook is that there were 2 others in the tent! I know they were only kids but if they didn’t wake up isn’t it quite possible an adult wouldn’t have woken either?
I'm surprised how deeply other people sleep. We were camping once. DC were asleep in the tent and we were outside having a glass of wine.(both me and DH - obviously a heinous crime on MN) At 11pm there was a massive firework display. (It hadnt been advertised and as a child friendly campsite seemed a slightly stupid time) Loads of dogs on the site went absolutely mental and the whole thing was very noisy. I rushed into the tent thinking the DC would be terrified. They slept through the whole thing. I am the only one of my family who regularly wakes at thunderstorms.
However in the circumstance you say, imagine how terrified other children would be. I'm pretty sure in the Caroline Dickinson case another child did see the perpetrator in their dormitory but was too frightened to say or do anything.

My kids and dh once slept through an earthquake ! I was the only one who it woke up

I would let them - my children loved it at that age, in a tent with mates. They get a back door key, we check on them. By 4am the birds have usually woken them so we discover them around 8am, in the living room asleep in front of the telly.

It’s a bit of fun and adventure - especially needed in times like these! Children are missing out in so much this year. I’d take advantage of whatever fun is available.

We did this as kids a few times in the early 1980s. We always went for a midnight ‘wander’ round the village.

So no, I would not be happy unless there was an adult in the garden as well.

No way would my children have been allowed to sleep out at night under, say, 15.

I wonder what happens magically at 15 that a child of that age would suddenly be able to fight off an intruder.

The danger is the same whether they are a child or an adult female if someone really wanted to get into the garden and do somebody some harm. But that risk is very low if you have a secure garden. And if your garden isn't secure you are at far more risk of burglary anyway, so securing your garden is something you should be doing regardless. Decent, high fences were the first thing we spent money on after moving in.

Yep, our neighbours have security cameras and my very quiet, out of the way road gets 3am visitors sizing up our houses. We also get people opening our cars. I guess it depends where you live.

Bloody hell!, opening your cars?, were these unlocked or did they bypass the locks to get in them?..

Nothing magical suddenly happens at 15, who is saying that? But, apart from young children being more at risk from a passing predator - a rare occurrence - at ten I was really reckless and daring and my mum had no idea. I would have absolutely gone on a midnight walk by myself given half the chance. I would probably have suggested it to whoever I was camping with! With a parent camping with me, or in a tent next door, it wouldn't have occurred to me. At 13 I camped with a friend sensibly, though my mum would probably look back horrified now that she left the back door open, having since been burgled twice.

@Justaboy the security cameras of a neighbour showed a man opening a keyless car on our road by hanging around by the front door and using something (I don't know what) which somehow intercepted the signal of the 'key', which are usually near to the front door so near enough to transmit a signal. Since then we always put our keys in a tin.

They're more likely to die on the motorway than your back garden, and its alot better than sitting on screens eating junk food

Those saying that cases like Sophie Hook's are rare, consider this:

One of the witnesses was a man who was himself trying to steal items from another nearby garden that night.

So, alright the cases of actual murder of children in tents overnight can be called "rare" but what about the other nighttime happenings. There was a burglar about at the same time as Sophie's killer. It isn't rare for "bad" people to be about at night at all. Two of them were there at a minimum! I mean are you happy for your kids to be exposed to burglars as their morals are better than killers?

I've been burgled overnight whilst in the house, I've had stuff taken from outside my house. No fucking way in a million billion years are my kids camping outside in the garden alone! I live in a very ordinary place. Not posh, not deprived.

Do people really class their garden as secure as it has 6 foot fences and is surrounded by other gardens? Could you not get over one of these fences if you had to? Our garden has high fences and is surrounded by other gardens yet a neighbour told us one night she seen someone crossing all our gardens, jumping over our fences and then a couple of days later another neighbour found a hammer and a couple of empty wallets/purses in her garden so presumably from this person.

I wouldn't have a worry about it, our bedroom windows back onto the garden and I hear hedgehogs scurrying around all night so wouldn't worry that I won't hear them if they needed us

I think most burglars (both the "professional" kind and the random, "chancer" or druggie type) would rather not come across a tent full of kids and would deliberately avoid your garden. It would act as a deterrent to all criminals except those with the most heinous of intentions. And actually, for that type of offender, to take a kid from a tent in a garden under the nose of other kids is also very very risky. The reason most children are abused at home or by someone close to them is because it is easy, no need to go scrabbling around in gardens. There are definitely risks to leaving very young children unsupervised anywhere but the likelihood of them being abducted is very small indeed.

@BeautifulCrazy

Do people really class their garden as secure as it has 6 foot fences and is surrounded by other gardens? Could you not get over one of these fences if you had to? Our garden has high fences and is surrounded by other gardens yet a neighbour told us one night she seen someone crossing all our gardens, jumping over our fences and then a couple of days later another neighbour found a hammer and a couple of empty wallets/purses in her garden so presumably from this person.

This. A determined thief will find a way in. I actually think an opportunist thief would be put off by someone sleeping in a tent in a garden as long as the doors were locked- far more likely to wake up while they are forcing entry than people indoors.

Olivethetree

(I don't know what) which somehow intercepted the signal of the 'key', which are usually near to the front door so near enough to transmit a signal. Since then we always put our keys in a tin.

Yes there is a device that can do that the key is worked by a radio signal such signals can be intercepted if you know how! I'd use infra red but that too has its problems in very sunlit conditions.

Better still would be a proximity reader but you'd have to be next to the car to do that peeps are so used to locking the car whilst their walking away, me too!

So keys in the can not a bad idea really:)

@Macncheeseballs

They're more likely to die on the motorway than your back garden, and its alot better than sitting on screens eating junk food

Omg, I didn't know that not sleeping in a tent meant you had to sit indoors eating junk food all the time. No wonder I'm so fat then! It's the lack of sleeping in a tent what done it .

As a slight aside, I wonder what the OP thinks?

My 11 year old camped outside on his own except for the dog for 36 nights throughout April and May - his 5 year old sister joined him on about 7 or 8 nights - it simply would not have occurred to me that this would be an issue for anyone.

By far the most dangerous thing a child does is get into their parents car with them - this is the most likely cause of accidental death or life changing injury.

As a slight aside, I wonder what the OP thinks?

🤣

I presume all these parents who are paranoid about the risk of abduction are just as careful to monitor their children's phone and internet use.

People don't remember the names of the many children who have killed themselves due to internet bullying.

Or the names of children who have been groomed online and have gone to meet someone.

If people worry about the risk of abduction when camping but don't worry too much about the phone risk, then people are worrying about the wrong things.

It isn't an either or situation. I'd be concerned about internet use and would monitor it, but also be concerned about them camping in the garden.

Ladyprigsbottom, indeed - inactive sedentary lifestyle is a major contributing factor towards the obesity crisis we have on our hands, any activity is better than none

And I wouldn't rely on the possibility of a tent(which may not be full of kids, considering that some have discussed one child sleeping out) putting them off. Sure it might dissuade a lot of burglars but certainly not all, considering how some break into homes at times when you can pretty much guarantee that they're occupied.

Activity? Sleeping in a tent? How many calories is that going to burn?

@Macncheeseballs

Ladyprigsbottom, indeed - inactive sedentary lifestyle is a major contributing factor towards the obesity crisis we have on our hands, any activity is better than none

Snort. This is the most tenuous, gaslighting argument I think I've seen in a while.

If you don't let your kids [insert mildly risky activity that certain posters enjoy], your kids will be fat, sedentary and eat junk food.