Children camping alone in garden - AIBU

[UserA]

A close friend has asked if my dc, aged 10, 12 & 13 would like to camp in her garden (socially distanced of course!) with her dc, both aged 11 - but alone, with the parents sleeping in the house. Apparently her dc have done it a few times over lockdown. I was fairly surprised and I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with mine sleeping outside alone. We both have fairly large gardens which aren’t particularly enclosed, as in not backing onto other houses as such. Recently there have been some sexual assaults/flashing episodes in the area, which makes me even more uneasy.. dc obviously annoyed that I haven’t agreed! So, AIBU - would you agree to them camping out alone?

Nah unless there was a grown up also in the garden. That said where I am although generally safe it’s built up and not entirely enclosed as you can theoretically crawl through the hedges etc or climb over the gate. Very very difficult to think how things could go very wrong but I think I’d be more worried about children getting scared in the night and not being able to get back in the house etc.

The fear on here is misplaced for so few cases of terrible events.

It's fun for the dcs if they want to do it, and one of the few things they can do at the present time.

You should let them do it, and worry quietly to yourself as all parents do, but not pass your own fears on to them.

To be fair that’s a deliberate misreading; the poster means overprotectiveness taken too far, which in turn stunts the natural independence of a child.

I understand that argument, but to me there are things that just really not safe, and being outside in the dark all night with no security at all is one. I had to sleep in my car once and I was absolutely terrified!

There is a lot of "relaxed parent" competition on this thread. If you aren't comfortable with something as a parent, don't do it. Nobody (I think) is saying their children should never camp, just whether or not a grown up should be with them, even in a separate tent next door. This is up to the individual parent. I would be happy for my son to go on Beaver camp for a night with his very experienced and trustworthy leader in the next tent but not for my son to camp in my garden with me in the house. And this is fine! Also there is a big difference between a 14 year old doing DofE and a seven year old.

Regarding camping in general, I do not believe childhood camping has any effect on adult maturity or enjoyment of camping. I camped for six weeks every summer and every half-term as a child and I now only tolerate it now for my kids. I am not a practical or campy sort of person at all and gave up my Bronze Duke of Edinburgh to avoid the hike! My heart usually sinks when it is suggested (though I like the sitting with a glass of wine outside bit).

I let mine sleep outside. In fact my six year old desperate for next weekend when it is the scout camp at home event (will be him with 12 year old brother). I leave door unlocked.

I also let them go on about trips which are on campsites which often have public rights of way etc so could be perceived as more risky.

Of school (big standard state) does sleepovers in the hall then residential trips as they seem to think children these day need the independence skills and to have safe adventures.

Actually just realised what a shame that probably won't happen due ages now due to covid.

There is a lot of "relaxed parent" competition on this thread

I'm seeing the opposite, there's a lot of competitive protectiveness. Feeling nervous about a 12 year old in their own garden during the day?

The vast majority of posters have said they wouldn't allow it.

Yes, my children used to do this for weeks at a time during The summer holidays.

But we live in the country with an enclosed garden so no one would know they were there except our neighbours. And I’m pretty sure they are not murderers.

Yes I’d leave my phone or iPad in the garden and yes we leave our house and cars unlocked, except when we go away on holiday.

I do agree that parents should do what they feel comfortable with (unless clearly OTT).

On the other hand, they do need to be prepared to explain their risk assessment to their children. How often do these things happen? How does the risk compare to that of a child crossing the road or travelling in their parents' car? Then again, is there a difference between a necessary action and an unnecessary one? How do we gauge the difference between necessary and unnecessary? Is there a way that could be used to manage risk and parental unease?

During the day? I thought that we were talking about camping overnight?

During the day? I thought that we were talking about camping overnight?

We are, but a poster further up thread said that she was anxious about her 12 year old playing in the garden during the day.

I missed that. That's completely different imho.

I cant get over so many people leaving house doors unlocked. I lived in a third storey apartment. One rather balmy night I opened the balcony door and was robbed. That night while I slept. No idea how they reached the balcony. Another student house wed leave the latch on and it too was robbed. Its madness.

I would let them absolutely - you can pull out one in a million events for anything - crossing the road, going to school, eating a sausage! The likelihood that anything will happen is beyond remote

I voted YABU and then I read the case of Sophie Hook someone posted up thread and now I think I may never let either of my kids leave the house again (not really, obviously, but how awful).

How can there be such evil in the world.

Yeah we were robbed through an open balcony door on a hot night too. It's so easy to say things are unlikely until they happen to you.

The fear on here is misplaced for so few cases of terrible events

I agree that the risk of a predatory peadophile serial killer is low

But crazy foxes howling ? High
Burglars , not out of the question either
And then getting scared and waking me ?

surprising and more than a little creepy just how many people prowl around in the wee small hours and they’ve no reason to

Yep, our neighbours have security cameras and my very quiet, out of the way road gets 3am visitors sizing up our houses. We also get people opening our cars. I guess it depends where you live.

There is a difference between the likelihood of something happening and the risk involved.

I accept the likelihood of a car accident is fairly high. But the risk isn’t as high as the chance of survival is strong. It doesn’t mean that because I drive my own child around I’d say oh well anything could happen and not bother with seatbelts etc.

With something like Sophie Hook, the likelihood is low. The risk however is sky high. It really isn’t comparable to eating a sausage.

The thing that bothers me most about Sophie hook is that there were 2 others in the tent! I know they were only kids but if they didn’t wake up isn’t it quite possible an adult wouldn’t have woken either?

Having said that, under normal circs I’d let kids of your kids ages camp out, yes. But as you’ve had reports of someone in the area that is what would make me say no this time.

I am surprised by this thread. Mine are preschoolers so it's a while away for but camping in the back yard isn't something I would have even considered dangerous.

How - I mean, don’t you lock your doors at night? I’m not being difficult, honestly, I just am surprised people wouldn’t recognise there is some risk involved.

We do t lock doors really. Even going to shops and stuff. Usually in the night there's probably always one main door unlocked out of three.
Never did in my childhood home either.
It's safer but I guess if you're broken into and stuff is taken your insurance is invalidated so leave unlocked at your own risk.

Don't lock*

Absolutely not. Remember Sophie Hook?

Never because of Sophie Hook, a case I will never, ever be able to forget.