Children camping alone in garden - AIBU

[UserA]

A close friend has asked if my dc, aged 10, 12 & 13 would like to camp in her garden (socially distanced of course!) with her dc, both aged 11 - but alone, with the parents sleeping in the house. Apparently her dc have done it a few times over lockdown. I was fairly surprised and I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with mine sleeping outside alone. We both have fairly large gardens which aren’t particularly enclosed, as in not backing onto other houses as such. Recently there have been some sexual assaults/flashing episodes in the area, which makes me even more uneasy.. dc obviously annoyed that I haven’t agreed! So, AIBU - would you agree to them camping out alone?

I would certainly let a 13 year old do it with friends.

I find it interesting how different people balance up risk.

I’d be happier with a 12-13 year old sleeping In a tent In a garden with 4-5 other friends the same age, than I would on a scout trip or staying at a friends house I don’t know (where there are adults/older siblings I don’t know).

People who abduct and murder children might be rare. Burglars and prowlers are not.

I'd probably feel safer if they were camping in a very remote area because houses attract burglars/intruders. They are much less likely to encounter anyone in the wilderness.

I'd probably feel safer if they were camping in a very remote area because houses attract burglars/intruders. They are much less likely to encounter anyone in the wilderness.

I would think the opposite - in that in the unlikely event something did happen there would be no one to disturb a potential predator, witness the event or call for help.

Truly stunned by how many people would not let their children camp out in their own back garden. People have a very odd and mistaken sense of risk.

My children have done it, I did it as a child with my brother - it's one of the great experiences of childhood.

So, yes, unless there's more to the story, I would definitely let them.

Well I wouldn't care for them doing either but they are less likely to find themselves in an encounter with anyone.

Personally I'll never understand the appeal of camping. It's incredibly overrated imho. I managed to get to 22 without having tried it and was somehow still able to function as an adult.

I'm stunned by how many people would sleep with their doors unlocked. It'd never occur to me to do so.

Loads of people don't camp, horses for courses, however many kids love it and i let mu kids do this, there are far greater dangers in life, perspective is needed

Personally I'll never understand the appeal of camping. It's incredibly overrated imho. I managed to get to 22 without having tried it and was somehow still able to function as an adult

Thank you! Me too. I'm finding this obsession with camping being "necessary" for kids to mature into independent adults frankly, bizarre as fck.
I despise camping. Hated it as a kid, hate it now. Shockingly, I managed to get two degrees, start my own successful business, get married and have kids and all without spending copious amounts of time under canvas as a child. That leads me to believe that either: I'm a medical marvel OR, camping really isnt an indication of success in later life!

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

Personally I'll never understand the appeal of camping. It's incredibly overrated imho. I managed to get to 22 without having tried it and was somehow still able to function as an adult

Thank you! Me too. I'm finding this obsession with camping being "necessary" for kids to mature into independent adults frankly, bizarre as fck.
I despise camping. Hated it as a kid, hate it now. Shockingly, I managed to get two degrees, start my own successful business, get married and have kids and all without spending copious amounts of time under canvas as a child. That leads me to believe that either: I'm a medical marvel OR, camping really isnt an indication of success in later life!

There's a big difference between saying Children Must Camp To Mature into Independent Adults - which I agree is loony - and dealing with children who are begging to sleep out one night in the garden.

There's a big difference between trying camping and hating it - as you did, fair enough - and being denied the chance to camp.

@Femaleassassin

Loads of people don't camp, horses for courses, however many kids love it and i let mu kids do this, there are far greater dangers in life, perspective is needed

This^

There's a big difference between trying camping and hating it - as you did, fair enough - and being denied the chance to camp

I'm referring to all the predictions on this thread that if kids are denied camping they wont be resilient or independent-thats rubbish. There are multiple ways to impart both resilience and independence in your children aside from camping. If camping were indeed the only way, then I would have zero independence and zero resilience.

They can also try camping on holiday or with Scouts/Guides. It doesn't have to be camping alone in the garden or nothing.

I dont think anyone is saying camping at a young age is essential to be a functioning adult. As far as I know I'm reasonable at adulting but my mum wouldnt have gone camping in a million years, so we didnt have the opportunity to try it until I was an adult. My kids have been camping with us for family holidays and in the garden because we had the kit to do it, I certainly wouldn't judge anyone who didnt want to do that.

I dont give a stuff about kids camping for resilience etc, i want my kids to do it cos it's fun

I dont give a stuff about kids camping for resilience etc, i want my kids to do it cos it's fun

Which is great! But there are also loads of other ways to have fun, its not the only way. People need to do what is comfortable for them and leave others alone is all I'm saying. If a parent doesnt feel comfortable with it, thats their decision and their choice and no need for them to be criticised or told theyre being stupid etc etc

Picking one girl who was taken and killed as an example not to camp is quite extreme to me.
A lot of people die in car crashes her I'm sure you all still get in a car.

You can weigh up the risks yourself, op.
I used to do this A lot when j was young but we lived in the countryside with only two other houses around us.

In the late 1980s I stayed on a school residential trip in caravans.(I would have been about 11) There were 2 kids in each room with a door to the outside and about a 200m walk to the toilet block. As a parent now I would hate the idea of my kids at 11 walking alone to the toilet in the middle of the night, and as a kid I wasnt especially keen on it but the worst thing that happened was finding poo on the toilet seat.
I'm pretty sure there would be greater safety measures in place, now, but this was a well established residential camp and I'm sure thousands of kids stayed in similar set ups around that time. To me that would present a far greater risk than sleeping in an enclosed garden where only the parents of the children involved know about it.

I used to camp in my own garden and grandparents garden all the time, both alone and with friends. Think I was about 11 when I started. Parents garden backed on miles of farm land and grandparents house was rural.

When I camped on my own (mostly at grandparents) I used to keep the dog with me for company. He loved it!

If a parent doesnt feel comfortable with it, thats their decision and their choice and no need for them to be criticised or told theyre being stupid etc etc

True.

But if a friends asks someone's child over for a camping experience in the back garden with some other children (Upper Primary / Secondary age) and the parents refuse because they are worried about the children being abducted, then that's a real shame for the children.

Who knows if it will lead to rebelliness later on because of concerns like this?

Who knows if it will lead to rebelliness later on because of concerns like this?

It's a legitimate concern. It's a well known fact that the majority of drug addicts developed their issues as a result of residual childhood trauma caused by being denied the chance to camp in their gardens.

Most children will rebel in some form. It's just part of growing up. Children are regularly told that they can't do or have something. So long as it isn't taken to extremes and they aren't prevented from doing anything at all I think they'll be fine. I've never met a child who hasn't heard the word "No" and I don't think I'd care to.

It's a legitimate concern. It's a well known fact that the majority of drug addicts developed their issues as a result of residual childhood trauma caused by being denied the chance to camp in their gardens

😆 yes lol I worked on a psych ward for over a decade. Not once did I come across mental health issues or violence being due to not being allowed to camp in the garden overnight!

t's a well known fact that the majority of drug addicts developed their issues as a result of residual childhood trauma caused by being denied the chance to camp in their gardens

That denying the camping because of worries about abduction is probably just a part of the whole cotton wool attitude some parents express towards their children. Which can have consequences much later on in life.

Sophie Hook, Madeline McCann, Caroline Dickinson. This is the stuff of nightmares. No way would my children have been allowed to sleep out at night under, say, 15.

Don't be so ridiculous. Just because a child isn't allowed to sleep out in the garden doesn't automatically mean that they are being wrapped in cotton wool. There are plenty of other activities they can do to gain independence.

And again it isn't just about fear of abduction. I wouldn't go to bed without locking the doors so am I wrapping myself in cotton wool? Perhaps we should remove door locks from our homes for fear of stunting our children's development and preventing ourselves from acting as fully functioning adults?