Friend choosing same baby name less than a year later

[OohAHzeah]

I know she didn't look at my dd and decide to copy us exactly. When I announced dd name she said congrats and that she had always loved it herself. I didnt think much more and then she became pregnant.

Her baby is due soon and in the same school year as mine. She just announced today she will probably use dd name (!!) She didn't even make a joke like "hope that's not too weird!" She just stated it like fact and said she quite liked it.

Dd name is quite unusual btw. It's not typical Evie/Evelyn.

I get she may have loved this name secretly just as I did, but to really use it when I just have? If we had no friends in common it might be nice, but we have so many friends in common. Our whole school group and some uni too. Just made me feel a bit rubbish. Dh thinks I'm being silly, but he's not that close to her. I just feel like she's taking away the 'special-ness' of her name. Either that or she thinks we won't see much of each other. I love this name so much but if she'd used it first, I wouldn't have out or respect! But then is that just me being the fool?

I know I cant do anything about it.

But it's a bit weird?

YABU: Totally normal to have same name as friend if you liked it

YANBU: It's a bit weird to purposely use the same one

[LadyMonicaBaddingham]

One of my best friends in high school had EXACTLY the same name as me. First name AND surname. We coped (even though we needed letters from the head in our homework diaries to stop supply teachers sending us to the office for taking the piss 😂)

We're still friends 20-odd years later. A name is just a name, not a lifelong definition of uniqueness...

[Thisismytimetoshine]

Why are you assuming the girls will be in the same class? They may not even be in the same school; it's irrelevant.

[Ihatemyseleffordoingthis]

"I just feel like she's taking away the 'special-ness' of her name."
Then you are being a dick, sorry

You unwittingly "stole" her name a year ago. So, if she decides to use it, you've going to have to suck this up.

But, if the baby isn't even born yet, she might still change her mind

[MaverickDanger]

She said herself when DD was born that she had always liked it. I would have no issues with using a name I loved, regardless of if a friend had used it too.

[newphoneswhodis]

I really think it does depend on how popular and any possible nicknames.
I always hate these threads because I really want to know what the name is!!!

[HakunaRattatas]

Get over yourself. Nobody owns a name and my name is certainly not yoonique. Somehow I have got through life coping with that fact. Get a bloody grip

[TheGreatWave]

I really can't get bothered by this mainly because I am that 'first' child. Mum had me, named me, 9 months later (within same school year) a neighbour had a baby. The neighbour nervously asked my Mum if she could name the baby as same as me.

So yes there was two of us with the same name at school and Mum remains bemused to this day that she was even asked if it was ok.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

I can see why you'd be miffed but if she loved the name too, I can't see any reason why she shouldn't also be able to use it. Are the girls likely to be in close contact their whole lives?

Some people have their hearts set on a name and just love it. You can't say they shouldn't use it because you conceived first.

[DarkDarkNight]

YANBU so what if she loved the name? it would be better for her to choose another surely. Don’t worry, if you’re in the same circle of friends everyone will think it’s a bit Single White Female or she’s really unimaginative. There’s an endless list of names so it’s really weird to pick one your friend has already used just a few months before.

[BurtsBeesKnees]

I don't see what the problem is tbh.

[LucyLeak]

I can tell you that this has never bothered me in the slightest. I have the same name, exact same spelling, as the daughter of my Mum's best friend. Not a popular name either.

[Isthisfinallyit]

I'm the babyname giver. Every name that I've ever decided on has been used by close friends or family before I got pregnant (years of fertility treatments, multiple losses). If I would have to choose a different name there would be nothing left while I was the one TTCing before them. If it was that important that you had an unique name why didn't you ask her first?

[Thisismytimetoshine]

so what if she loved the name?
She's just as entitled to use it as anybody else.

[TheresABearInThere]

You don’t own the name, it doesn’t matter if she called hers the same.

[BedknobsNoBroomsticks]

What's the name and how unique is it?

[Aquamarine1029]

Stop wasting so much emotional energy over something you have no control over. I fail to see how this impacts your life, honestly.

[Minniee]

It depends on the name I think.

Something like Olivia it's just bound to happen. Cassiopeia on the other hand probably not as much.

[HowFastIsTooFast]

YABU. There are a couple of names I've loved for decades but have never told anyone, if a friend were to have a baby before me and coincidentally use one of those names should I really have to cast it aside and pick one I don't like as much for my own child? Nonsense.

What are the chances of the two kids having anything much to do with each other after a couple of years anyway?

[277xo]

She may have had her heart set on that name for years but just because you happened to get pregnant before her she isn’t allowed to use it? I think you’re being quite unfair, no one owns the name. I’m sure everyone will be able to distinguish between your two children.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

The only person who will care about this is you, your kid wont care. I was the one of a million in my school with the same name. I was the generation of Claires/Janes/Emmas/Sarahs etc and we just accepted it. And you think the name is unusual now, but wait until school starts, you'll probably find at least a couple more. I though DS1's name was unusual as I had never heard of another kid with it, this was back at the very start of the Tom/Sam/Harry phase. Hit school and whallop three other kids in his class with the same name!

The specialness of your child is your child, not her name.

[Coffeecak3]

OP your friend is giving her baby the name she likes best. Why should her baby get a second best choice just to spare your feelings. The dc won't care.
It doesn't diminish your child at all. Remember imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

[CostaCosta]

I don't think it's a problem. I wouldn't mind.

[MintyMabel]

My best friend’s son has the name I’d have chosen if I had a boy. I wouldn’t not use it just because she has. If she were to be so shallow she’d hate me for it, I would rethink my friendship with her.

[sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea]

I know no one owns a name etc. but it is a bit crap. I had the same thing happen with DD - very unusual first name, personally significant middle name. Two months later, a friend had her DD... and gave her exactly the same two names. It felt a bit off tbh.

[Everything1sFine]

I would never in a million years not use a not call my own baby what I wanted to call her because someone else had also called their baby the same name.

It’s the name of your child! You get to name them what you want to name them.

It’s madness!