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Spendthrift daughter

481 replies

Zizzagaaaaah · 01/07/2020 12:13

My daughter is 16 and has her own debit card which she has had for a few years
at the beginning of the year, I told her that I would be giving her, £85 per month to buy clothes with
Out of this, she pays for her Netflix subscription £5.99- I pay for her phone

She has a love of Brandy Melville clothes, which although aren't wildly expensive - they are pricier than some for bog-standard t-shirt

She needs clothes for college and has so far since April has put in 6 separate orders with Brandy.
each time she has paid £3.50 shipping

Today the postman delivered a package from boots with some bio-oil and dove face wash
She paid £3.50 for the delivery (We have a Lloyds chemist less than 5 min walk and boots and Superdrug in our local small town) We also get a weekly shop from Tesco (the bio-oil is £2.50 cheaper)

She doesn't even think about using her student discount and then moans that she doesn't have enough to buy the things she wants.

I've spoken to her many times but it's falling on deaf ears

I know this is small stuff but it's really starting to annoy me that she doesn't seem to care that she can save money every time she shops, either by waiting and buying more each time (instead of buying a single t-shirt and paying £3.50 to have it delivered) or going to the local shops

Do I ignore it and quietly seethe as it's her money and hopefully when she starts having to earn it herself the penny might drop?

OP posts:
SisterAgatha · 01/07/2020 15:18

It’s been said already but I think the amount of money she’s getting means she doesn’t need to worry about a few quid here and there on delivery. If she had half that, she’d care. I promise you.

Alsohuman · 01/07/2020 15:18

People don't get jobs based on how much they need the money

I do know that. I’m saying they should in the case of part time work in the current climate.

EveleftEden · 01/07/2020 15:21

People are aware that 16 year olds get paid peanuts because of their age... that’s why employers employe that age as it saves them money.

When the hospitality sector opens back up there will be lots of employers aiming at this age bracket whilst they get back on their feet. Hiring over 21 will cost them more.

Also young people really got the shitty end of the stick with this virus. It’s not fair for them to now have to get to the back of the queue with jobs as well.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 01/07/2020 15:22

@netflixismysidehustle

When there are limited employment opportunities, those jobs should be taken by people who actually need the money, not 16 year olds for pocket money.

People don't get jobs based on how much they need the money or they will be a lot of people on six figures who were previously on minimum wage.
My dd (17) has just started a job for pocket money and has every right to accept that job. Ffs

Good for her! You should be proud of her industriousness. 😊
netflixismysidehustle · 01/07/2020 15:23

I do know that. I’m saying they should in the case of part time work in the current climate.

Many young people have to take out massive debt in order to go to university and qualify in their chosen careers. My dd has to achieve a masters minimum so quite frankly she has every right to save a bit now.

poupeediop · 01/07/2020 15:24

People are aware that 16 year olds get paid peanuts because of their age... that’s why employers employe that age as it saves them money.

Yep

Also young people really got the shitty end of the stick with this virus. It’s not fair for them to now have to get to the back of the queue with jobs as well.

Yep

LinemanForTheCounty · 01/07/2020 15:25

Actually I am going to follow alsohuman's logic and give up my job because someone somewhere is starving and I am not.

Well, not right now.

netflixismysidehustle · 01/07/2020 15:26

These young people may want to save towards deposits, cars and other goals rather than rely on parents. This is adult behaviour that should be encouraged.

LinemanForTheCounty · 01/07/2020 15:27

Having a job is a PRIVILEGE, you monster.

netflixismysidehustle · 01/07/2020 15:27

Would you quit your job so a poorer person could have it? Hmm

Alsohuman · 01/07/2020 15:28

@LinemanForTheCounty

Actually I am going to follow alsohuman's logic and give up my job because someone somewhere is starving and I am not.

Well, not right now.

Except you’re not following my logic at all, are you? Have fun.
LinemanForTheCounty · 01/07/2020 15:28

I'm drafting my resignation letter right now.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 01/07/2020 15:30

Alsohuman,

My husband and I own our own business in the wedding industry. Our business has been decimated this year. What job do you have? I feel like I may be more in need of it than you.

poupeediop · 01/07/2020 15:30

It's actually quite important to get some work experience at a young age if you want a job whilst at uni or as a young adult.

LinemanForTheCounty · 01/07/2020 15:32

Dear Boss

I am no longer able to do a day's honest work for you because by doing so I am preventing someone else from doing an honest day's work for you. Please do not send my p45 to the address you have on file as I am also giving up my house in order that someone else can have it.

Yours in sackcloth
Lineman

Pinkkgaga · 01/07/2020 15:34

85 a month is not spoilt like some people are suggesting I couldnt get buy on 20 a week personally. It’s not your money so don’t worry about it.

Tootletum · 01/07/2020 15:34

I was given no extra money at all as a teenager. If I wanted anything I had to go and get a job. I did paper rounds, ice cream stalls, tutoring, you name it.

lljkk · 01/07/2020 15:34

I would leave her to learn her own lessons. Listen blankly if she ever moans about not having money for things.
I have a spendthrift teen DD, too, but I don't resent it or expect to change her. I just don't have energy to do all that.

Mine doesn't get that kind of budget from me... I still think it's distatsteful to give a DC money and then put strings on it afterwards.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 01/07/2020 15:35

If the £85 is for clothes, any personal care items and going out with friends etc, I don't think that's loads. I used to get £100 and my parents weren't well off.

EveleftEden · 01/07/2020 15:35

@LinemanForTheCounty

Dear Boss

I am no longer able to do a day's honest work for you because by doing so I am preventing someone else from doing an honest day's work for you. Please do not send my p45 to the address you have on file as I am also giving up my house in order that someone else can have it.

Yours in sackcloth
Lineman

Grin
poupeediop · 01/07/2020 15:36

Except you’re not following my logic at all, are you?

Your logic? 🤣🤣

EveleftEden · 01/07/2020 15:38

@poupeediop

It's actually quite important to get some work experience at a young age if you want a job whilst at uni or as a young adult.
Absolutely. I think it’s really vital for emotional maturity and personal growth.
QueenCT · 01/07/2020 15:38

Talk to her about online shopping! Voucher codes, student discounts, introduce her to Quidco and airtime rewards (money off phone bill)
Then she can see that gives her money off which equals money left for other stuff

LittleGwyneth · 01/07/2020 15:43

Does she know that if you spend over £150 you usually get free delivery? You should point that out.

Deadringer · 01/07/2020 15:52

My dd is 16 and gets 60 euro a month, which i think is plenty. If she needs anything though, trainers, jeans, coat etc i buy them, she just buys tops and things that she fancies. She is good at budgeting but i do find that young people don't seem to mind paying for postage, where i will avoid it at all costs.