Putting his hands around my neck... 3 strikes and you’re out?

[Smellbellina]

He has done it twice so far, only left red marks. I have told people, they have asked I call police and given me details of a solicitor. I have a 3 strikes option in my head, this was strike 2, I have told more people this time (including his family) mine don’t like my position but accept it and have offered to pay for a solicitor.
3 strikes, AIBU?
I haven’t name changed for this as I don’t see why I should, it’s not my dirty secret to keep.

Very relieved to see you’re at your mom’s and seeking advice. @Smellbellina you are doing amazingly well. It all must seem so overwhelming right now. As a pp said, baby steps. You’re out & safe. Next step is police to report & solicitor for advice. You don’t have to find all the answers on your own - that’s what all these agencies are there for, to support you & help you through it.
You’ve taken the hardest first step. Keep going x

OP are you saying in your last comment that you're back at the house with him? Please, please GET OUT. There is so much good advice on this thread, so many resources but you don't seem to be using them.

Pack a bag and go NOW. Check into a cheap hotel for a couple of nights while you gather the resources and make the calls you need to make. He seriously assaulted you, report him to the police or ask your BIL to and they will put you in touch with the authorities and help get sorted. Call in sick and keep DD off school if you have to, your priority needs to be getting you both out of a serious life-threatening situation before it's too late.

As PPs have said, emergency accommodation is temporary but a coffin is not. He WILL do it again and next time he very well could kill you.

OP contact the NCDV like you've been advised and ask them about an Occupation Order: 0800 970 2070

They may be able to put an emergency injunction in place. In the meantime you could go to a refuge, then come back once it's been served: 0808 2000 247

Please be so careful when you leave op. This is the most dangerous time for women, when they seek to leave an abuser. You don't want any discussion about it. Just quickly go.

OP, are you still at your mum's? Your last post is a little confusing. Did you manage to speak to a solicitor and did s/he advice you re. house?

What about your sister's? You've mentioned your bil a few times.

Did you actually manage to get to your mum's?

Or friend's? It's not even medium term, just somewhere where you can be safe to sort out your next steps.

You and your children need to leave tonight.

Do you know about the silent call option?

www.humberside.police.uk/news/op-galaxy-helps-protect-victims-domestic-abuse

You can call us on our non-emergency 101 line. Always dial 999 if you’re in immediate danger.
If you want to call us but you’re unable to speak, dial the number as normal but once the call is connected, dial 55. We will then know you’re on the line and be able to hear what’s happening and get help to you.
Send us a direct message to our force Facebook or Twitter accounts – both of which can be found by searching @humberbeat

I don’t think you can be confident that - because there’s usually a lull after an attack - there will be this time.
There could well be another episode - he doesn’t have a reputation to lose, because now people know.
He will be feeling very sorry for himself .. honestly please ring the Dogs Trust & have your fog fostered for a short while, go to your mums until Saturday then just a Travelodge or Premier Inn until you’ve got him out or found somewhere else.
The most beautiful house or decadent lifestyle in the world isn’t worth living like this. You know it. You know he’s never going to change. He’s proved it to you. You gave him another chance.
Don’t stay in the same house as him.

I am back at home, I have a telephone appointment with the solicitor tomorrow

Home as in with your parents or with your partner?
I hope you are safe tonight.

Did you read the post just before my last one about silent calls? So if he approaches you in any way you could ring them?
Are you going to just go to bed as normal or can you sleep somewhere with locks?
In all honesty though, I’d just take the kids & the dog and go. Anywhere. You’re really not safe. Whatever you’re telling yourself about it not being that bad, it is.
I’m sorry if I’m going on too much. It’s your decision. I feel as if I’m putting too much pressure on you.
I think I should probably hide the thread.
I wish you and your family and your dog all the luck in the world.

I can’t stay in the house as he won’t leave

He will have to if you report it to the police and get a non mol order.

One strike and you’re out the door.

Agree one strike and that's it. This is too serious to ignore, however much you think you love your DP (and even if you want to risk it, your dd doesn't need a dead mother - the evidence for this progressing to death is too overwhelming to ignore). Sorry you're going through this OP.

YABU 3 strikes ffs OP

Where are your dc's? If they are with you now can't you keep them off school for awhile and have them stay at your mum's or siblings ?going to school is not compulsory atm due to covid is it? You should not have gone back to him OP. A place where death awaits you is not called a "home". Why are you doing this to your child/ren? Forget about the house for now. You need to be alive to live in any house and if you stay with him he will kill you and probably your children too. Do you not care for your children anymore? Are you going to let him kill them and you just because you don't want to let go of the house?

No. I think you ( and everyone else) should aspire to have a relationship with someone who would NEVER put their hands round your neck, under any circumstance, or threaten your life in any way. It's the very least all of us are worth. Leave now. Please.

I am at home he isn’t I don’t where he is he came home briefly got changed and left. He will ignore me for a bit now.
I don’t particularly want to be here but right now I don’t really have anywhere else to go so here I am.

One step at a time. First is GET OUT. Ring the women’s helpline, stay with a friend, ring the police for help. My friends Mum was murdered just before Christmas by her partner. You have to leave, your Daughter needs to grow up with a Mum. You can do this. Good Luck. X

Ring the police. Tell them about your relationship. If they think it's fine, then fine.

Can you stay with your bil and sister?

Oh please ensure he cannot get in to the house! Yes I know I know, he has right of access
But
Chain on door, key in lock,
Anything to stop him getting access.

Please, get a non mol order, a Mesher order, the full works.
Please.

There is always somewhere else to go. If you can't goto friends or family there are womens refuges. You and the kids need to be safe. Pos are right, the risks increase when they become aware you're planning to leave. Just get out.

Report him to the police, get him arrested etc meanwhile occupation order whilst the house is sold.

You can do this. Reporting to the police will make it very real and mean the professionals can help you more easily.

I recently reviewed a paper about brain injuries. Checking some of the statistics and references in the paper, I was taken aback by the reports of an increased number of women who are sustaining long-lasting neurological or brain injuries because of blows to the head or manual strangulation (either as part of domestic or intimate partner violence).

Please be safe, OP - or anyone else in a similar position.