To ask about nakedness in front of dc

[Whatafustercluck]

I've always gone on the basis that as soon as your child feels uncomfortable around you being naked, you should start covering up/ closing the door when dressing or bathing. Ds is 9 and not remotely bothered but I'm starting to wonder if this is weird/ out of step with others. We don't parade around naked for no reason of course, but he will frequently see us naked getting dressed/ undressed morning/ night. How open are you with your kids and what age did that stop? I've seen some experts say that it may be inappropriate from 5 which has concerned me tbh.

I do t understand why there's an age limit on nakedness in the home. Can someone explain?

She isn’t going to do that if you don’t lead by example midnight, but I think a lot of parents enjoy how cool and edgy and uninhibited they are.

@greentreesdream I'm not sure why you mean by that? I'm only ever naked when showering or dressing and I'll be in the bathroom or my bedroom with the door pushed to but I see no problem if they choose to walk in. As I said further down I'm eternally cold and don't even have bare feet in the house outside of these short times. Why does she need to stop doing these things she feels comfortable doing in the safety of her own home with her immediate same sex family only?

Visitors are different obvs

I’m overweight so don’t like being naked!

Overweight bodies are allowed to be naked too.

Overweight bodies are beautiful too.

Overweight people don't have to hide their bodies because somehow they are shameful and disgusting.

When we visited SIL and her family, when their and our dc were little, our nieces used to clamour to get in the bathroom when dh got in the shower. They were fascinated by a male body and loved asking questions.

They have an all female household - two mums, three daughters. We all took the view that it was healthy for them to chat about willies and have their questions answered by their uncle.

But after a while it got a bit much and poor Dh was finally able to have a bit of privacy after he persuaded his sister to put a lock on the bathroom door.

No doubt some people will find it a bit weird that they were allowed to look at a naked male body that wasn’t their father, but it’s worth noting this was in a Northern European country where spas and saunas and things are all very much nude affairs, and there isn’t the same pearl clutching you get in the UK. Plus Dh (and their other male uncle) are important male role models in their lives as they don’t have a Dad.

Their mums were also very open about periods from a young age. Little nieces used to come out with things like “Does anyone need to grab a tampon?” when we were all preparing to the leave the house.

All very open, no shame attached to any of this stuff in that country.

My dc are 16, 14 and 12.... Ds and 2 dds. Ds is only now occasionally like fgs mum lock the foot if he walks into bathroom as nd I'm drying myself or something. Dds couldn't give a shit and often like to crack jokes about my boobies .... But they cover up appropriately from each other although both happy enough to be naked around me if I'm helping with hair issues or something. I skinny dip a lot and they have a moan about it sometimes but generally they're all well adjusted and know its just a body after all. Periods are normal too, no one freaks out about that either 🙄
I use a menstrual cup and they have all been familiar with it since tiny. Impressed that some mums get alone toilet time. Even now I find the dds and dogs like to pile in with me. It's become a joke in our house.... Often ask dd2 to get the Guinea pigs in too so they don't feel left out

Venus you should have seen DHs face when I explained he had to wear his swimming trunks in the sauna!

'When we visited SIL and her family, when their and our dc were little, our nieces used to clamour to get in the bathroom when dh got in the shower. They were fascinated by a male body and loved asking questions'

'No doubt some people will find it a bit weird that they were allowed to look at a naked male body that wasn’t their father, but it’s worth noting this was in a Northern European country where spas and saunas'

Yes, now I do find that weird. Spas and saunas are not private bathrooms.

Door not foot!!

Impressed that some mums get alone toilet time. Even now I find the dds and dogs like to pile in with me

Your youngest is 12 and you still don't get to go to the loo in peace...wtf

It's part of safeguarding children and making them feel that bodies are their own
Totally disagree, when I was 5 I saw my mum and dad in shower naked and getting dressed etc. I still knew at that age when a friend of the family tried to get me to touch his balls that it was wrong. I told him quite abruptly no several times and avoided potential abuse.

All of mine have done this naturally and I've taken their lead. If you have got to the stage you feel a little uncomfortable make the change for them.

@formerbabe your parents weren’t picking up your cues. That’s more about them and doesn’t mean everyone else needs to change their behaviour.

Well according to you lilgreen there was no problem...I just had hang ups.

This is such a bizarre thread. I think I stopped seeing my dad and brother naked once I hit puberty at 11ish. Just a gradual move to being more private. My mum and me however , I wouldnt think anything of it even now. I dont wonder round naked but wouldnt be bothered about getting changed in front of her or chatting to her in the bath!

I feel like it’s important that they see I’m comfortable in my 41yo, size 14 body. I do think that is wrong. It is not important at all that kids see us being comfortable with our bodies in front of them. It is important that kids are comfortable with their bodies - and one of the most important ways we can do that is have good healthy boundaries. All of us and them.

If we are ever in the position that we feel that nakedness in us is good for our children - or nakedness in them is good - that is wrong and we shouldn’t do it. Nakedness that just is... like we have to change in the same room while our kids are 2 years old, that is unavoidable and fine. That doesn’t equate to body shaming them, we as their guides and mentors just gently introduce privacy as they grow.

It is very healthy to respect a child’s body as their own. They do not need to be ‘shown’. It is good for them to see that we respect them enough, and respect is boundaries.

Another ‘naked’ family here but like other posters I don’t even think about it. We’re not ‘cool’ - We’re bloody 41 and 43 😂 ! We don’t have a lock on our bathroom door, one bathroom with the only toilet, so we’re always interrupting each other’s baths/showers. We don’t sit around naked but we’ll see each other changing. My son has night terrors so sleeps with DH and I, we all sleep in just pants or shorts. My daughter sleeps naked (I think we’re very warm blooded!) and she’ll come in for a cuddle too so yes, a ‘naked’ cuddle but we don’t think about our nakedness. My children have also seen me change my
San-pro, again not lock on bathroom, being out and about in public toilets. Never once have they commented.
Actually the only time my daughter (9) has commented on San-pro is where someone had left a used towel in the bowel of a public toilet and she said ‘why would someone put it down the toilet? It’s had for the environment’.

Think you are way ott, nakedness in the fam at a young age is natural. I sleep in bed naked and my kids see me naked from time to time. It's fine. When they want and need privacy they will have it.

That was meant for social distance

I think kids start wanting privacy and not see their parents naked when they start developing themselves. Nudity wasn’t a big deal in our house, we all bathe or shower with the door pulled to but not closed. Teen DD is one for covering up but teen DS walks around in his boxers. This is a pattern I’ve noticed with friends teens too. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, it will happen naturally and you won’t even notice.

Rule in our house is if a door is pulled to or closed we knock, if it’s open we walk in.

@Llamazoom that's a good rule.

I'm very comfortable with nakedness but do pull an internal face when e.g it's communal changing rooms and someone spends ages drying their hair naked so I guess everyone has their hang ups!

But that's complete strangers so entirely diff @EdgarAllenCrow123

I’ve never seen my dad naked ,but I’m comfortable with seeing my mother naked even now as two adults cos we are both women,but that’s when she is getting dressed or one of us is using the bath. I don’t think a girl should have a memory of her naked dad,for me personally that would be crossing the line if dad was walking around naked. Children shouldn’t lead parents and tell parents to cover up,often children can’t go against what’s normalised at home and aren’t confident enough to voice their discomfort. I grew up body confident cos I grew up with a mother who didn’t draw attention to her body or weight or diet,you can be body confident without seeing your own parents naked.

What I don't understand is why some people believe you have to be naked around your children in order for them to be comfortable and accepting of their bodies?

I mean, they see people in various states of undress at the beach, the park and the swimming pool - surely they see enough body types there? Why the need for them to see you naked at home too?

I'm not talking about very young children where it's often impossible to avoid it, but when your kids are 7/8/9 etc. surely they can wait outside the bathroom for you and knock before they enter a room?