To ask about nakedness in front of dc

[Whatafustercluck]

I've always gone on the basis that as soon as your child feels uncomfortable around you being naked, you should start covering up/ closing the door when dressing or bathing. Ds is 9 and not remotely bothered but I'm starting to wonder if this is weird/ out of step with others. We don't parade around naked for no reason of course, but he will frequently see us naked getting dressed/ undressed morning/ night. How open are you with your kids and what age did that stop? I've seen some experts say that it may be inappropriate from 5 which has concerned me tbh.

If we are ever in the position that we feel that nakedness in us is good for our children - or nakedness in them is good - that is wrong and we shouldn’t do it

In your opinion. Which is fine. But don't uphold your way of living as the ideal. We are all different, and how others choose to live their lives is not "wrong" just because you think differently.

Oh my. I live with my two daughters aged 11 & 9. We all sleep naked, dd2 shares a bed with me most nights, dd1 will do so occasionally. They don’t strip off at other people’s houses but home is a safe space and we all see each other naked all the time. It’s just not an issue. Dd1 has started puberty and it’s still not a problem.

I live with my two daughters aged 11 & 9. We all sleep naked, dd2 shares a bed with me most nights, dd1 will do so occasionally

Not appropriate imo.

There is a world of difference between nakedness and behaviour which should be kept private, like sex or personal hygiene.

I spend my summers on a beach with dozens of naked people of all ages, shapes and sizes. Naked teenagers playing volleyball with naked adults. Naked children running around splashing and playing and throwing each other into the water. Naked grannies standing knee-deep in the sea chatting to people. Naked men sitting at the bar in groups having coffee and playing cards. Naked elderly men lying spread out on the sand, reading in the sun. Naked couples walking hand in hand.

Hardly anyone with a "perfect body", plenty of people who are very old, "overweight", have scars, including mastectomy scars, physically disabled etc. No-one gives a toss. There is no pressure to look a certain way, and because no-one has any clothes on, the idea of fashion or style goes out of the window. That that to me is a physically and mentally healthy way for my child to spend his summer.

It is telling that in 20 years on that beach I think I have met two British people there who were not part of my own party.

I sleep naked as I am peri menapausal and get too hot. My 2 DDs will climb in and give me cuddles. They comment on my belly as it has been size 18 and size 12 and we have lovely conversations about bodies and the normality that everyone is different. We have talked about why hair is in certain places and why boobs are there.

It has given them the ability to ask me anything - but then that is what I am comfortable with, too. Each to their own, I guess.

This has not created children who want to expose themselves as I have also taught them about their privates - they wash themslevs and when we go swimming my eldest prefers to change in a cubicle.

I am just suggesting that you can be naked at home enabling a comfort in their own bodies and teach your children about privacy of their bodies at the same time. I have no right to see their bodies and they will decide when they want privacy at home, too and I will respect that and not embarrass them.

btw - DH always wears pants and would be mortified to be seen naked, not that our DDs would bat an eyelid. My dad was the same! I suspect it is a Dad/DD thing in the same way as Mum/DS thing.

Genuine question as I have no idea but surely if a child told their teacher they sleep naked in bed with their parents who are also naked, the teacher would have to report it for safeguarding reasons?

I didn’t say you did @formerbabe. I’m not directing my posts at you personally.

It may be noted but I doubt action would be taken unless there were other concerns. Some people sleep naked, some children sleep in their parent’s bed. I work in primary school.

Yes lilgreen but if you describe someone being uncomfortable with nakedness as having a hang up then they're not going to feel comfortable expressing that are they?

I said YABU, to make an issue out of. It sounds like you have a healthy relationship with nudity and so ignore every one else.

No never naked in front of them apart from when tiny, liked my privacy. I remember my young son commented on my bottom whilst I was in my bedroom and never again after that.

Perhaps it might be helpful to you to explore why you feel uncomfortable with a body/skin @formerbabe.

DS is 8 and has baths with me still. If he gets into bed with me, which is often, I am nude because I sleep nude.
My Dad is 75, my mum 72 and I am 43. I still see them naked, not often but I wouldn’t think anything of it. Pre Covid they would talk to me in the bath on occasion.
Brits are such prudes! (I am British as are they, we just don’t see a big deal about nudity.)
I won’t be stopping being naked in my own house!

Perhaps it might be helpful to you to explore why you feel uncomfortable with a body/skin

Thanks for your passive aggressive faux concern but I'm not uncomfortable.

@formerbabe I am a teacher. I also happen to sleep mainly naked (pants on) and co-sleep with my son who sleeps naked. DH sleeps naked or in shorts. Bodies are bodies. They are not sexual unless sexual activity is occurring.

It’s really not passive aggressive. I’m genuinely making a suggestion. Why are you so uptight?

We don’t have a lock on our bathroom door, one bathroom with the only toilet, so we’re always interrupting each other’s baths/showers

This isn’t ok. You are forcing your children to relinquish their privacy by taking away a simple means of achieving it eg a lock. Wtf

Ah Mumsnet, breastfeeding until your child is 5 is absolutely fine but nakedness is weird. I am amazed so many people are that repressed, but these boards are often a real eye opener!

I am a teacher. I also happen to sleep mainly naked (pants on) and co-sleep with my son who sleeps naked. DH sleeps naked or in shorts. Bodies are bodies. They are not sexual unless sexual activity is occurring

Yes but something doesn't have to be sexual to be inappropriate. I mean for example, if your dc was on a play date and the parents were naked but had no sinister motives, you wouldn't say, ah well, bodies are bodies, that's fine would you?

Bodies aren't sexual but I think everyone has their own ideas about nakedness in certain situations.

I have no issue with nakedness at all but admit I do feel a bit uncomfortable about naked cuddles with children past a certain age (in bed or otherwise). It's interesting to me to think about why that is.

My ds is 12 and dd is 11. Both will see us naked and not overly bothered. Ds more so at seeing me (dd doesn't seem bothered by seeing dh) but its his choice to come into my bedroom or the bathroom. I will usually call out to say I'm getting changed where as in the past I wouldn't I now try and contain my nakedness to my own room.

Both dcs don't generally get changed in front of us and cover with towels when out of bath and in communal areas. Dd and I will share a changing room for swimming and ds and dh and they are happy with that.

I am also British, I wouldn't say Brits are prudes exactly, but the general culture in Britain regarding this issue is very different from a number of other countries. Even I, as a lifelong naturist, was a little surprised (when much younger) when I entered a public sauna in Iceland (not a special naturist place or anything, just a normal sauna at a public pool) to find a large group of naked men and women sitting around freely. Some of the women were even sewing or knitting (can't remember which now)!

It wouldn’t cross my mind to hide from my children. They are 12, 9 & 4. If I’m showering or getting changed I wouldn’t shut the door and neither would they. We don’t have locks on the bathroom doors either.

My 9 year old is not bothered by my nakedness.

There is so much weirdness on this thread 🤯🤯🤯 there is so much difference between an adult stranger encouraging someone to be naked against their will and parents going about their daily business in the privacy of their own homes within a family unit.