To ask about nakedness in front of dc

[Whatafustercluck]

I've always gone on the basis that as soon as your child feels uncomfortable around you being naked, you should start covering up/ closing the door when dressing or bathing. Ds is 9 and not remotely bothered but I'm starting to wonder if this is weird/ out of step with others. We don't parade around naked for no reason of course, but he will frequently see us naked getting dressed/ undressed morning/ night. How open are you with your kids and what age did that stop? I've seen some experts say that it may be inappropriate from 5 which has concerned me tbh.

Exactly Bluntness

Remember my teenage son streaking across the landing once or twice and dds & myself telling him to cover up but he said he didn't care

I had honestly never thought about this till I saw this thread. I was brought up in a prudish, catholic household where no one was ever nude, no period talk or sex Ed. I wanted to do it totally differently with my own DC but hadn’t realised how different from my parents I am. I never walk in when DS12 is getting changed but I have a desk in my bedroom and he’s often at it while I go in the o suite shower, he knows I come out to get dressed after but has never once gone downstairs to avoid my nakedness and is happy to chat away while I get changed. None of them are body conscious. I’m not sure if it’s because we have always had a toddler around (4 DC) that we just haven’t gotten into the way of locking/closing doors. The set up of our house means they can completely avoid naked me if they want to do they aren’t uncomfortable with it. I’d much rather they are relaxed than the body conscious anxious mess I left high school in.

'However it’s not about sex or anything else, it’s about not wanting to see your mothers muff or fathers ball sack, let’s not pretend otherwise, the human body may be beautiful, but that really is in the eye of the beholder. No one should be forced to see it, and that includes your kids.'

This is so true. Kids don't object because it's all they've known, then when they grown up they think why tf didn't they at least wear underwear and tell us to, or wrap a towel around themselves. Nothing to be ashamed of but privacy is actually a good thing to practise when it comes to kids and nakedness.

it’s about not wanting to see your mothers muff or fathers ball sack, let’s not pretend otherwise, the human body may be beautiful, but that really is in the eye of the beholder

This x 100000

All children are different. My child is quite forward for his age (5). I think having a boy you need to be more aware OP. I think 9 is far too old this is obviously based on my own experience mainly. I wouldn’t feel comfortable never my child.... I think once boys get to around 3/4 years old they tend to ask a lot more questions.

We're very chilled about nudity in the house (although as adults we wear clothes, dressing gowns outside of showering/bedrooms). So I don't see the problem. We have talked to them about privacy and the importance of at least wearing pants when visitors are here or when I'm answering the door. Boys tend to be later developing than girls so probably what's normal for a 9yr old boy is different to what's normal for a 9yr old girl who may be on the cusp of puberty.

I have a different opinion on DD and DS seeing me/DH naked than I do each other. DC are well into their teens and whilst I wouldn't go out of my way to be naked in front of them if they walked into my bedroom whilst I was say getting dressed I wouldn't say anything- they would either stay or choose to leave. If I saw a pattern of them leaving I would probably say "might be best to knock if my door is shut (as I do on your's), I've noticed you retreat pretty quickly if I'm getting dressed".

I think where siblings are concerned it's slightly different. The DC have seen my body pretty much in the same form since they were born but not each others. As their bodies changed I thought it was important to not have them seeing each other naked - it just seemed different in some way to me. They may almost not notice me naked because it's something they have seen from the beginning, much more likely to notice a changing body. Could just be me that thinks that way.

"it’s about not wanting to see your mothers muff or fathers ball sack, let’s not pretend otherwise, the human body may be beautiful, but that really is in the eye of the beholder"

Yeah I saw my dad often wandering down the stairs half naked in the middle of putting pants on and seeing more than I wanted to. I knew there was nothing 'wrong' or to be ashamed about and I'm not scarred for life. I just didn't wanna see my dads tackle.

I’d much rather they are relaxed than the body conscious anxious mess I left high school in

But there is a mid ground between a prudish catholic household and wandering around starkers, until your kids eventually are forced to say can you put it away.

Honestly. I’m fifty one. I’m no prude, I’ve no desire to see my fathers ball sack. In fact if I walked in on him naked I’d turn away and say sorry, neither of us are prudes. But Nope, not wanting to see it.

There is a world of difference between someone walking in and catching you naked than you wandering about with it all on display. Thinking you’re teaching your kids something, because you’re not. They don’t want to see it. And they are more likely to grow up having body issues because they were uncomfortable with being confronted with the sight of their parents genitalia or bare arse from a young age and couldn’t say it,

As said, put yer pants on,

My kids 11 and under aren't bothered in slightest. All.boys so perhaps why. And the fact we have one bathroom so theres lots of sharing, using loo while someone is in the bath. It's a body at end of the day. My kids have done nspcc programme, know which bits stay covered and body autonomy. They also realise no one is going to.die of shock if their immediate family see a body part by accident

Who's 'forcing' the children to see it? My 9 year old and 5 year old know what I'm doing in the shower, I'm not tying them up, sellotaping their eyes open and insisting they "Look at Mum's vagina! Right now!" I'm just living my life, with them, in our home. We encourage privacy if they want it, no one is forced to do anything. I feel like the comments being made about an adults grown body being "ugly" are more damaging to a child than just seeing it and accepting bodies look different as they get older.

I'm still living at home while saving for a mortgage so I share a room with my 5 year old DS.

Sometimes I have to get changed in front of him but he doesnt care. If he showed signs of being uncomfortable I'd stop but until then it's not a big deal.

My 9 year old would happily be naked all the time, though I do ask her to at least put on underwear if she is going outside or the curtains are open.

Similarly she couldn't care less if I am naked, so I don't bother doing anything special one way or the other. And we share a room anyway.

My partner (who has lived with us since she was 2) is more reticent (whether that's because he is male, or unrelated to her, or both), but he still wouldn't make a big deal out of hiding specially if she happened to see him in/after a shower.

I sometimes jump in at the end of the bath with my three year old. Quick splash and out. He also showers with me sometimes again if one if us is busy and showers with his dad but mostly I like to complete my abloutions alone.

I don't think there is a specific age because a reduction in shared nudity happens naturally as the child becomes more consistently independent.

I doubt many of the posters are actually walking around stark naked as the norm at home,doing the house work and cooking - I mean this is the UK not the Costas it's not often warm enough. Most just aren't gasping and grabbing a covering if a dc happens to walk in, generally just being comfortable! I don't there's much prolonged exposure as a pp stated.

@midnightstar66

One post specifically said her husband is just always naked at home. Chilling on the sofa naked. Naked everywhere.

Other posters taking their children on nudist holidays. Totally inappropriate.

One post specifically said her husband is just always naked at home. Chilling on the sofa naked.
Naked everywhere

It's really weird isn't it...I mean that's just gratuitous nudity as far as I'm concerned. There's no reason not to stick on a pair of boxer shorts...I'd be quite if I knew any men who were routinely naked at home in front of their children for no particular reason.

Yes that was one post - out of many. And yes I agree that is a little odd not least because I'd prefer a layer of fabric between hairy arse and cushions!

Personally I think if it’s made a big deal of, it sexualises it’s and makes it wrong unnecessarily. If that makes sense.
We don’t bother about nakedness in this house. We don’t sit or wander about naked, but I don’t care if dds walk in when I’m in the shower and vice versa.

What is "inappropriate" about me taking my children on "nudist" (we don't really use that term these days, we say naturist) holidays. This kind of attitude makes me really annoyed. Children have bodies. Adults have bodies. There is nothing inappropriate about it.

I disagree Natura I think doing that is a harsh thing to inflict on your dc who have to go with you

What is "inappropriate" about me taking my children on "nudist" (we don't really use that term these days, we say naturist) holidays. This kind of attitude makes me really annoyed. Children have bodies. Adults have bodies. There is nothing inappropriate about it.

Grim.

I never understand this stuff. To a prepubertal child, genitals are where wee comes from and are involved in reproduction, so its kinda just another necessary body part. We are naked loads in front of DS (3.5) and he is completely oblivious to it. He will happily run around naked himself. I am glad he is so uninhibited.

I find it really odd people saying their child hasnt ever seen them naked.

Your children don’t want to stare at naked adults!!! They don’t want to have to see saggy balls and hairy arses and other shit like that. And you are forcing it on them! It’s fucked up.

I’m assuming at least that your children aren’t naked on these holidays, because that would be a whole other level of messed up. But exposing them against their will to naked people is really inexcusable and I’m shocked someone thinks that’s ok. Selfish.