Ok got to page 7 & skipped ahead
”all the other golfers’ wives don’t have a problem
Having a wife is not like having a car, yet his attitude is exactly like he is experiencing a bothersome engine issue.
He is comparing people who have owned their cars a long time & enjoy them with his new car he’s just bought
Just because everyone else’s cars are running fine & his is not does not mean that he has bought a lemon
He hasn’t bothered to take care of it & this is why it’s not running well.
While he is hearing bothersome sounds come from the engine, instead of addressing them he ignores them - continuing to rev the engine & driving in a reckless manner, which is causing the engine problems
The problem is HIM - his attitude towards what “having a wife” entails
He has bought a sedan & lamenting it’s not a sports car.
I could keep with this car analogy but you get the drift...
His incredibly selfish, dishonest & disappointing. This is not marriage & you know it!
Natalie Imbruglia apparently recently had a baby via sperm donation as a single woman ! You guys have Nat don’t you? Find an inspirational female role model & let go of the fear
It sounds like you’re projecting your own fears relating to the trauma you experienced as a child going through your parents’ divorce
But the thing is you don’t have a kid...and not all divorce is so traumatising to children - maybe you parents just handle things poorly?
babies are not in the position of experiencing the potentially memorable trauma of a divorce like you did as an older child.
I think you need to put your fear in a virtual box & let it go. Why keep lamenting life didn’t lead you to having a child in your 20s/30s ? You can either live in regret or just accept what your available options are & pick one.
I think everytime you look at this selfish excuse for a new husband, just remember he is cheating you out of the opportunity of experiencing having a child - every day you have to look at his face is one day less to invest in your own goals & dreams. All he cares about is himself & his “par” (golf is so boring am upset have even remembered this terminology, but for Happy Gilmore!)
because you wouldn’t bring a child into this situation & expect him to change. That is a pipe dream. this is who he is & this is how much he respects, or even likes you. That will make it a lot easier if you can embrace your anger & use it to propel yourself out of there.
I bet you could make a happy little home anywhere you go. Let him have it, it’s a rental which is up in 3 months time. This is a perfect time for you to leave now. I would with all seriousness disappear while he is at golf.
I suspect he has never really loved you - you were not “the one” to him, but the one who would have him. Or a trophy wife, or someone submissive who would put up with this, as do sense a certain passivity in your posts...
I identify as childfree myself & 38 we are almost same age? If I were to have a child would 100% pick to do it as a single woman in a tiny little flat on the dodgy side of town than be in your type of position feeling upset, cheated out of life, like an afterthought to my partner... like he just flits in for food, a fuck & a friendly warm, comforting bed each night. Get lost mate!
You’ve been sold up the river ! This is not a happy marriage.
Also don’t get me even started on dog owners who get a dog as a fun “thing to have” but don’t actually want to even take care of it... - WAIT A MINUTE - that’s exactly how he treats you too ! Please take the dog & get the hell out of there ASAP.