‘Our baby’

[OlivejuiceU2]

Could really do with some perspective on something that is bothering me. I’m 37 weeks pregnant with first baby so not sure if it’s my hormones?

Baby will be the first on my side of the family and it’s fair to say everyone is very excited. It has been difficult as older sibling desperately wants their own but has a number of issues that would prevent that from happening at the moment.

Since announcing that I’m pregnant I’ve had to deal with all kinds of comments and behaviour from them which up until now I have not said anything about as I understand they are struggling seeing their sibling have something they so desperately want. Examples include being rude to my friends on zoom baby shower, saying they want the baby to rip my in half (during the birth).

Things have been slightly better more recently but now they are referring to the baby as ‘our baby’. For some reason I find this really odd and not sure how to feel about it. Because of their issues I will not be allowing them to have sole care of my baby at any point but I’m starting to think they think they will be.

Should I say anything or correct them when they saying this? Or stop overthinking it.

@Davodia yeh but giving birth was your choice but cancer isn't something anyone chooses to have! Why did you get pregnant knowing the consequences only to then complain about childbirth pffff

[quote Issygray]@Davodia yeh but giving birth was your choice but cancer isn't something anyone chooses to have! Why did you get pregnant knowing the consequences only to then complain about childbirth pffff[/quote]
Did you just suggest that women shouldn't complain about horrific birth injuries and experiences?

@Issygray why yes I did . You're very observant, and very brave to come to a forum that is primarily for mothers, just to complain about their decision making and feelings about their birth experiences. Wow! On top of that, you're hilariously funny! Oh to be you. Well done 👏🏻

Infertility literally makes some couples utterly bonkers and this sounds like one of those times.

Don't say anything yet as you're too close to baby arriving and don't need the stress.... just quietly and subtly start to phase them out and make it clear that no visits will occur until you say so due to Coronavirus.

Keep them at arms length post birth then deal with them when you feel ready. Explains your concerns to your OH and enlist his help to keep them in their place.

Oh stop feeling sorry for yourselves ladies! I am a mum of 3 and currently pregnant with number 4. I just don't understand all This moaning about something so natural! Yes childbirth is hard, sometimes even traumatic but you knew that before you decided to gave children so I am not going to entertain self pity BYE

Re the "our ...". I'm from Liverpool where this is a common thing to say but it's not common everywhere. No reflection on Liverpool, though I don't like it myself. I remember being shown a wedding photo once and the bride listed her family names, around 40 people, prefacing each with "our"

@ShebaShimmyShake I was not suggesting I was making a point to stop complaining and moaning!

[quote Issygray]@ShebaShimmyShake I was not suggesting I was making a point to stop complaining and moaning![/quote]
You, ma'am, are an idiot.

Issygrey I thought you said BYE

please say it again and go, you're a twat.

I rarely say this, but I do not believe Issy is a woman. On the off chance she is, she has so many issues about being one that for the purposes of this discussion, she might as well not be.

I clearly don't need to take the effort to explain what's wrong when it's so plain to anyone with half a functioning brain cell.

Okay @ShebaShimmyShake god forbid someone has a differ,t opinion to your empty brain!

@FizzyGreenWater you are the twat! Bye B

@Issygray

Okay *@ShebaShimmyShake* god forbid someone has a differ,t opinion to your empty brain!

@FizzyGreenWater you are the twat! Bye B

I thought you were flouncing? Could you please get on with it before you reduce the average IQ score within this thread permanently? I'm sure there's a woman on another forum with permanent birth injuries that you could harangue. Sir.

Well that was a total clincher, as if we needed one. I'm sorry everyone, I know I shouldn't encourage him. As you were. Well, as you were before he showed up.

@ShebaShimmyShake oh dear you know the big guns have come out when they start betting on what you're like in IRL! Reminds me I might play the lottery tomorrow.

I feel bad for the OP having to put up with this person on a thread where she's asked for advice. Please don't be discouraged, OP. Most people here are listening to you, we have all sorts of experience and opinions to share and you can come back to chat if you feel that you'd still like to.

B*? Is that a new grade?

I missed that one.

I could practically HEAR her/its voice. Shrieky shriek!!! Lol.

Along with the dramatic arm and hand movements  I think at one point some earrings were removed.

@OlivejuiceU2 do you have any clarity now over how you feel about your relative and your baby? A lot of people have said essentially tell her to do one (including me) but GrumpyHoonMain has a good point about family. You have a lot to think about I'm sure, but a lot of your inner questions will be answered when you meet DC for the first time

OP your sister has wished you harm in a really cruel and nasty way and is now unsettling and worrying you with her ‘our baby’ references. I really would listen to your instincts on this; they’re there for a reason.

Also, your baby won’t be a baby forever. So think hard about what relationship you want your child to have with your sister, if any. If she’s capable of saying viscous things like that to you, what’s to say she won’t one day do it in front of (or to) your child?