To be a bit jealous of my neighbour's daughter

[perpetuallyunimpressed]

My OH and I have been together 17 years. 2 DD to my knowledge he has never been unfaithful and I can't remember really feeling jealous of any women he's known before. We live on a road with mostly elderly people.

At the beginning of lockdown the 4 of us were out for a walk with me and when i turned back OH was chatting to a woman and we waited a few minutes while they chatted and then he said she's the daughter of the couple that live 2 doors up from us. She's had to move in just prior to lockdown for some reason which isn't clear to me. First time he'd met her.

Then as the food shortages got a bit difficult he mentioned he's got some bits which we needed but hadn't been able to get, great, where from? he met her out again on another walk and they exchanged numbers then she contacted him to ask would he like anything.

Then some second hand clothes turned up that the neighbours grandchildren had outgrown, and a few more groceries. OH got a few things for them.

I know all this sounds completely reasonable and nice and it is but whenever I see this woman she just says hi as we pass and I find it a bit weird that she's such good chums with him but never speaks to me.

I have been working a lot since lockdown, long days and nights and weekends and OH has mostly been furloughed at home with the kids. I mentioned it to OH and he just brushed it off and seems completely innocent but he is a bit naive and I'm not sure he would notice if someone was giving him the come on. AIBU to have a weird feeling about it all?

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

There is a big difference between something not being appropriate and someone projecting their issues.

You can't control perfectly normal behaviour by saying it's inappropriate when it really isn't. #sisterhood control, eh.

And yeah. Your mate is a loser if he has this outlook

[Elsewyre]

@IShaggedAMarriedMan

You can trust as much as you like, but as a male friend told me, men aren't interested in being friends with a woman unless there's something in it for them.

Trust means fuck all once it's lost.

Not all men are bastards, but married men have tried it on with me and I know that you should not turn a blind eye.

So what's your Male friend getting out if being friends with you?

[KrisAkabusi]

The point here is that OP isn't comfortable with what is going on, and that means that even if there is nothing going on, and nothing likely to ever be going on, it is inappropriate.

Would you be happy if your partner told you that you could no longer be friends with someone? Particularly if neither you nor he had done anything wrong?

[backseatcookers]

He is definitely not a loser. He has many good qualities.

Well if one of my mates said they only had friends of the opposite sex when if wanted to fuck them that would override their 'good qualities'.

Imagine being such a twat you can only see women as either fuckable therefore worth your time or not fuckable and therefore not worth your time.

You say the offer is there. Based on what you've shared about his feelings on female friends he must think you'd go for it.

Some of us wouldn't be mates with someone like that, so there would be no metaphorical table to put an offer on.

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

Imagine being such a twat you can only see women as either fuckable therefore worth your time or not fuckable and therefore not worth your time.

If you look at the thread you will see that that's how women filter other women.
Is she fuckable? No way she can come near him.
Is she not fuckable? Yeah, be mates, it's alright.

[backseatcookers]

Oh I totally agree @SchrodingersImmigrant that some women do that to other women too, madonna / whore complex definitely exists in women as well as men.

[BumbleBeee69]

we exchange numbers with neighbours even before pandemic. There is nothing weird on having each other's numbers if you are ok with each other.
Would it be weird if she was neighbour's son not a daughter?

No it would still be weird....

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

Yet, people wonder why community spirit is dying.

It is weird to exchange numbers with nice neighbours.😂 Ok.

[BumbleBeee69]

It is weird to exchange numbers with nice neighbours Ok

But this adult is not a neighbour... she's a relative of the neighbour who is visiting temporarily ..

How do you get to exchanging numbers exactly... seriously.. it's not even about trust... even if it was a Guy a Horse a Donkey.. I genuinely do not understand how you get to exchanging numbers from a passing convo ? who asked for the number ? and why ? I'm honestly baffled....

[SchrodingersImmigrant]

😂 I am out

[BumbleBeee69]

I am out

well when you're out.. don't be giving your number to randoms.. lord knows where it could end up