My top Three Most Epic (Semi) Silent Battles with DH

[DesperateSusan]

100 days into lockdown and here are a couple of my most epic (semi) silent battles with DH:

In the evening when we need to put a light on I switch on a few lamps that lights the room beautifully, he puts on an overhead light to give us that “interrogation” feel.

I put the milk back in the fridge immediately after using it, he leaves it out on the counter presumably so the rest of us can enjoy the delights of room temperature milk later in the day.

I like the TV remote control to sit between us on the couch so we can each flick channels if we want, he thinks he is the master of the remote control and must sit holding it.

AIBU? Please, I want to know that these things are not just happening to me!!!!

Where do I begin.
Leaving a plate in the microwave, after having taken the food and transferring it onto another plate.
Washing his dishes, leaving liquid residue on it, and leaving it next to the sink rather than the dish rack.
Leaving empty wrappers/bottles in the fridge.
Taking shoes into the dining room even when they're muddy and leaving them there.
Never taking cups into the kitchen, even if I try to make a point and not move them myself - he will leave them until they grow mould if I let him
Leaving items of clothing all around the house after coming home from work - these will also stay where he's left them unless I move them.
My number 1 silent battle with DH has to be food though - I always cook enough for two days and he'll happily finish it all in one sitting. Then he wonders why we run out of food so quickly

I feel your pain OP. Especially re milk left out in this heat

bouncing his hand on my bit of the couch.

My Dad used to do this, really heavy hand drops. Now my DH has started to do it. Aaarrghh! Why oh why? Drives me nuts.

I feel your irritation everyone, but put yourselves in my position - I have the opposite problem. Viz

1. when I change the bed linen he always redoes the plumping of the pillows
2. I draw back the curtains in the morning and tie them back - he has to redo it
3. ditto re hanging towels
4. and on and on Good thing I love him!

Love these. Placemarking.

I recognise myself in keeping the miniscule bits of bar soap. To throw them out seems so wasteful to me but really they are only worth pennies. I never thought it would irritate anyone but now I see it with fresh eyes. Anyone know what I can do with bits of old soap?I am biting the bullet and changing the ratty left overs for a lovely new bar early tonight. Look at the decadence you have introduced me too!

He recently fitted a corded track for some curtains I have made for the dining room. (One very wide curtain to cover the patio window.)
Each morning since, without fail, I find that he has opened them exactly halfway. Why?!
He also habitually shifts the coffee table two feet to the right so that he can sit on the floor to watch tv (we have two sofas and a chair!) amd never puts it back.
And cushion squashing.

GRRR!

I have to hide my own toothpaste. Otherwise he gets it, squeezes it from the middle, and leaves the lid off. I buy him the ones with the little trigger if I do the shopping, so at least that isn't winding me up. I still keep mine hidden though. I like stripes.

There's a hundred other little things - we both have very specific ideas about the dishwasher for instance, but of all, messing up the stripes in the toothpaste is the only one that actually upsets me (as silly as that sounds)

NB - I am actually laughing as I type about these trivial annoyances.
On balance I would rather have a messy husband, lacking in all aesthetic awareness, than a fusspot who actually notices an unvacuumed carpet.

He does that annoying foldy up thing with crisp packets and then puts them inside the coffee table chest. Secretly. Doesnt do it with anything else just crisp packets. Put them in the bin for christs sake. So odd.

"Empties" the dishwasher by putting everything on the draining board and then ignoring forever. Even if they are not wet.
Just. Put them. Away.

We have an ongoing Dishwasher War which has lasted the best part of twenty years. Every time DH approaches the vicinity the dishwasher he develops temporary, selective blindness. He is capable of leaving dirty crockery near the dishwasher and even on top of it, but cannot see to actually open the dishwasher door and put anything inside.

Sooooo happy to be single!

Opening the curtains and not checking that they're hanging straight.

Not putting things in cupboards because he doesn't want the cupboard to be full. Well I don't want the fucking floor to be full because it looks shit.

Not knowing the basics of laying a table. So many times I've said that I'm not eating with my bloody fingers.

One of our neighbours is the insufferable fuss pot type, though. One day, his wife cut the grass while he gave his car its twice weekly wash. The next day, while she was at work, he cut the grass, again.

Burst out laughing at "he sits on the sofa wrong". But turns out from later posts he's not alone!
Mine 'organises' the washing up, even when it's my turn to do it. But much much worse is when he reorganises the drying stuff before I've even bloody finished dping the washing up.
Who made him the king of the right way to arrange stuff?
Another kitchen sin is he "tidies away" stuff I have literally just got out to use. Or chucks a drink I haven't finished yet. This was once a massive gin and tonic he decided was old tap water but was actuallythe last of my gin.

@BarbedBloom that sounds like my old place. Is there a very tiny courtyard at the back and a huge built in cupboard in the corner of the kitchen?
That or the large but small kitchen is more common than I thought, lol

Sorry, I was rather off topic there.
Ok, minor annoyances perpetrated by DH:
Cannot shower without creating a puddle which covers the whole bathroom floor.
Loads the dishwasher wrong, removing the cutlery basket to fit an extra pan in, then leaving the whole sodding basket of fiddly cutlery for me to wash by hand. I'd rather do the 1 pot!
Would literally never open the curtains ever if left to his own devices. He has zero interest in daylight. He does allow me to select all lightbulbs though. I hate dim rooms in the evening, it feels depressing.

the crockery cupboard has plenty of space - a stack of plates, stack of teaplates, stack of large bowls, stack of small bowls. Every single time I open the doors, he has mixed everything up and balanced things precariously. So I rearrange it and walk away, thinking 'it's sorted now'. The next time I open the door, I'm faced with what almost appears to be a deliberate mixing up of the crockery again, as it's just as bad as before

I'm staggered that there's another idiot that does this as well as my DH. Why do they think it's ok to have teetering piles of soup bowls mixed with pasta bowls? Mine also slings the clean cutlery in the drawer upside down .so it's all mixed up, nobhead.

# In the evening when we need to put a light on I switch on a few lamps that lights the room beautifully, he puts on an overhead light to give us that “interrogation” feel.

Brilliant

Yep, I have one of these. Mine spent ££ on fancy smart lights and lamps, which I lovingly set up just for the eejit to come in and turn the house into Blackpool fucking illuminations

@BobbinThreadbare123 the one sheet delicately balanced on the loo roll is so that they can in all honesty declare that they didn't use the last of the loo roll & therefore are not responsible for replacing it. 😤

Also married to another fish that likes to carry half the water out with him when he steps out of the shower. Despite standing on the mat he then still manages to make great watery puddles all over the bathroom. I've named him SquareBobSpongeFeet.😂

My DH and I engaged in a silent battle of wills over the sandwich toaster, which only he uses. It lasted over 3 weeks. It sat next to the sink, encrusted with his cheese and baked beans, while I determinedly (yet silently!) did NOT wash it. Eventually I won 😁 He's not used it since 😂

My DH also leaves puddles across the floor after a shower, if you can't stand for a moment in the cubicle, FGS stand on the mat for a bit. I manage to get the mat only mildly damp.

Also does the wiping the floor with a tea towel and hanging it back up again, so we are a 3 a day household too.

However, I dream of him putting the toilet roll on the wrong way round (right way if you have a small child), he's never replenished a toilet roll in his life!

We are having a silent battle over the shopping list.

There is a list in the kitchen that gets added to during the week if we run out of anything. I'm doing the shopping atm and will get whatever is on the list.

We can be watching TV in the evening and DH will say 'can you get me some shower gel when you're at Asda?'. My response is always 'yes, put it on the list and I'll get it'.

Fast forward to Friday - 'did you get my shower gel?'... 'it wasn't on the list'... 'no, but I did tell you I needed some'.

Eventually he'll get the message that politely requesting cheesy wotsits while I've got my head in the tumble dryer isn't a strategy for success. Just put it on the bloody list.

I turn on the light in our dark dungeon kitchen so that I can see what I'm chopping and cooking. DH always switches it off even when I'm
still there.

DH can't/won't plump a cushion. Now I make a point of plumping all the cushions except the ones where he likes to sit.

The windows. I like them to angled open at the top. He likes the side even though it messes up the blinds. We each change them back every time.

@GlumyGloomer It does have a tiny courtyard overshadowed by giant sycamores belonging to the neighbours. No built in cupboards though, the corners have these weird hip height shelves. It is such a strange design and the plug situation drives me batty.