Men in teaching

[LegallyBlue]

My husband used to be a recording studio engineer but decided to become a teacher when we had children because the hours were much more family friendly. He trained as a secondary school Physics teacher but he's just about to start a new role as a primary school science teacher in a private primary school. It made more sense for us because it means a huge fee reduction for our own children and he's also getting some senior leadership responsibilities so it pays well.
Since telling people he's going to be teaching in a primary school, I've had a few comments from people. Comments like "don't you think it's weird he wants to spend all day around children?" and "I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like". Basically implying my husband is a paedophile.
It literally never even crossed my mind and I'm really shocked. I might expect this attitude from some old fashioned elderly people but some of these people are young and liberal friends of ours. Am I missing something here?

Also, precise the mumsnet saying
"did you mean to be so rude"
That person actually just accused your husband of being a paedophile

"I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like"

Assuming this really happened, what was your response to that comment from a friend?

If it wasn't, "what you you mean?", finding out it meant they thought he was a pedophile, then you telling them that is really offensive and ending the friendship, then yes, you are "missing something"...

The ‘male role model’ theory is very much up for debate and doesn’t always hold up to academic scrutiny. It will always be put forward in any discussion of this type though as it appears to be ‘common sense.

We’ve already had plenty of ‘best teacher I ever had/ at my child’s school was/is a man’ posts on this thread - sometimes it will be because of perceived ideas about discipline/ role models or some kind of inherently male teaching style that somehow connects better with their child, particularly if a boy. Sometimes it will of course be true but that will be by coincidence not because the teacher was a man. They’re are some very average (and below) male teachers out there, same as the women.

Grossly offensive to suggest Male teachers are predatory

I'd be a lot more worried about a woman-only environment. You just have to read MN - where a majority of posters are posters - to see why.

I'd rethink the friends!! My eldest now at secondary was at a junior school with 4 male teachers out of 12 teachers and she really enjoyed the variety and the their teaching style. My son goes in September and he too is looking forward to seeing the differences - only female teachers at the Infant school.

What?????????

Omg I'd get new friends. What a bunch of offensive idiots

“I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like".

My response would be .... “and now I know what you’re really like I won’t be having anything more to do with you”.

I am 64. I was in primary school in the 60's and I had male teachers then - Mr Jenkins (for 2 years) and Mr Williams so not an "old fashioned" view as it was definitely common then. We definitely need more male teachers at all levels

I doesn't surprise me at all. It's ridiculous, of course, but misandry is commonplace.

Your friends are idiots.
But in your defence it is a commonly held view and exactly why there aren't more male primary teachers or any male nursery nurses.
The battle against sexism has a long way to go. If anything it's far worse now than it was in the 1970s

We’ve had plenty of Male teachers at DD’s school. I can’t recall anyone thinking they were paedophiles.

When I was in primary school we had no male teachers apart from the soccer and tennis coaches, both of whom were from private companies. However in secondary things were much more balanced and then in sixth form I had no female teachers at all!

I don't think there's anything wrong with male teachers. Would they say the same thing about male doctors who specialise in paediatrics?

Very weird friends. We love that one of my sons kinder teachers is a man, and both the deputy head and head of the primary school he will go to are men, one is a friend of ours.

There was one male teacher in my kids primary. Three classes per year. Every end of year, the kids and the parents prayed that they would have him. He was very popular with both.

I think there should be more male primary school teachers. These remarks def need to be challenged. Sadly my friend gets similar comments as a beaver leader by parents of the children he gives up his free time for. He now suggests they take their children elsewhere, not so easy as a teacher. Many children need a good male role model in their lives and we should be actively encouraging men like your husband to go into teaching .

Do they actually have primary children? Male or female, great teachers are great.
If my friends had that kind of view, I don't think I can be friends anymore. What about dad who wants to spend all day around children? Do they think they are weird too? Such a prejudiced and skewed view. It says more about them, so I will think twice about friendship.

I'm not surprised those stupid, bigoted comments are coming from your younger friends. I'd be more surprised if they were coming from older generations.

This says more about the people saying he's weird, than it does about your DH

My kids' infant and junior schools both had 1/3 male teachers and 2/3 female teachers, and the male teachers were treated like gods 😁 pretty much everyone appreciated how lucky the schools were to have a good ratio of male teachers, and it was great to see the kids having such great male influences in their lives.

My daughters at Primary level had a wonderful male teacher for three years, before a new male-hating HT arrived.

He was hounded out of his lifelong career within eighteen months.

Appalling behaviour by a baying mob of mothers, encouraged by the new HT.

I'm so surprised to read this. The few male teachers at DD's school are worshipped by the parents and I've found in general male teachers are welcomed in such a female dominated profession. I have heard of suspicions raised at men working in nurseries (a friend of mine pulled his daughter out of a nursery when a man started working there) but not a primary aged+ settings. So bizarre.

You have it completely backwards to imagine that older people might be more likely to hold these views. Think about what has happened in the last 10-15 years: the uncovering of historical child sex abuse cases, the expansion of mandatory safeguarding for all adults who work with children, and the general understanding that rather than the stereotype of a grubby old perv in a mac an abuser is almost always known to the child and in a position of trust and / or authority. The current generation of parents are probably far more aware of safeguarding issues than their parents or grandparents ever were.

Your friends are still nuts, however.

I'm 56. In junior school, so aged 7 to 11, I had a male teacher for at least one of those years. He is the earliest teacher whose name I remember, Mr Rosenthal. I remember him because he was a wonderful teacher and he helped me realise that I was able to achieve academically. He made me believe in myself.

He's most likely dead now, but how I wish I could go back and tell him what a difference he made to an awkward child from a slightly odd, slightly deprived home.

A good teacher is a good teacher. Doesn't matter if they are a man or a woman.

Elderly people were very accepting of male primary school teachers. I'm 63 and in my junior school (7+) the head and four teachers were male. We need more male teachers.

You have some bloody nasty 'friends'.

Madness.
I think schools need more men teaching in primary school.
There isn't many between both my DC schools. DD was initially terrified of her new male teacher he is great they love him now.