Men in teaching

[LegallyBlue]

My husband used to be a recording studio engineer but decided to become a teacher when we had children because the hours were much more family friendly. He trained as a secondary school Physics teacher but he's just about to start a new role as a primary school science teacher in a private primary school. It made more sense for us because it means a huge fee reduction for our own children and he's also getting some senior leadership responsibilities so it pays well.
Since telling people he's going to be teaching in a primary school, I've had a few comments from people. Comments like "don't you think it's weird he wants to spend all day around children?" and "I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like". Basically implying my husband is a paedophile.
It literally never even crossed my mind and I'm really shocked. I might expect this attitude from some old fashioned elderly people but some of these people are young and liberal friends of ours. Am I missing something here?

[samG76]

Send him to us - most schools around here are desperate for male tecahers! Your friends are idiots....

[INeedNewShoes]

"I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like"

These aren't friends if they're saying stuff like this.

Two out of four of my primary teachers were male. One of them was a crap shouty teacher, the other one is, without a doubt, the best teacher I had throughout all of my school life. I owe a lot to him because the quality of my education plummeted after I left that school but luckily the foundations of maths/English and an enthusiasm for learning stuff were in place because I'd been taught so well by this one teacher., who happened to be male.

Its really bloody depressing that people think this about male teachers. My three best friends are males, all of them happen to be teachers and excellent teachers at that.

They look after DD for me from time to time.

[enyemaka]

I’ve worked in education for 10+ years. In both the primary and secondary sectors. In all that time, the sexual abuse / general abusive behaviour has been in the secondary schools. From male AND female staff. I’ve worked with over thirty primary schools and never come across an issue. To those who think that all men are instinctively dangerous - did that stop you from having children with these men? Did you instantly think they would abuse and assault your children? It’s idiotic.

[StatisticallyChallenged]

Safeguarding principles are to assume anyone could be a risk and put structures in place to ensure that opportunities don't arise for any adult to harm a child. That's the end of it.

This. At a statistical level men are higher risk but you can not take that and apply it to individual men. Good safeguarding applies to all

[Deelish75]

DD's pre-school teacher was a man. He was brilliant. Really calming influence. The children and the parents had a lot of respect for him.

DS's reception teacher was a man, again he was really good and the children and parents had a lot of respect for him.

Pp is right we need more men in primary. When I trained in Early Years (early 2000s) our course was 90 places and only two were men, hoping its increased by now.

[BlackPuddingEggs]

Although in state primaries the staff is often heavily female dominated in independent ones there seems to be a much higher proportion of male teachers. Maybe because they have more subject specialists rather than lots of one teacher/one class? Anyway the parents of the children he is teaching will most likely be much more familiar with male teachers and not find it odd.

[SirSamuelVimesBlackboardMonito]

11th rule of misogyny: Basic pattern recognition skills are cruel and evil when they hurt men's feelings.

[FlamingoQueen]

I have 2 bil’s that were/are primary school teachers. One is now a Head. I work in a school and I think it’s actually very very important that there are male primary teachers. Some children don’t always have a male role model in their life (or female of course) and it’s great for young children to see male staff in a school. My son may become a primary teacher and I think it’s fab.
I think it says more about other people’s attitudes than your husband. Good for him - I hope he really enjoys his new job.

[employeewoes]

DH used to get that sort of response as well. People are idiots.

[mouse70]

I looked back at my primary school photos from 1960s. Half the teachers were Male!!!!

[Clavinova]

Since telling people he's going to be teaching in a primary school

Is the school referred to as a 'primary school' or a 'prep school'? I thought it was great that my dcs' prep school had quite a few male teachers (I have two boys) - plus a science lab with Bunsen burners and a DT room with saws and acrylic cutting machines. These male teachers had their own dc at the school on reduced fees as well.

[AwakeNotWoke]

In order to help break down misogyny and toxic masculinity in our culture we need to see kind, compassionate men in teaching, caring roles. I would love my children to have a male teacher, as long as he's good at his job!

The only issue I have with male teachers is that they disproportionately end up in management positions, due to the inherent benefit of being male. They are far less likely to be on long term parental leave, part time working etc and they are also a bit of a novelty and seen as special, therefore capable, and are promoted. I'm not saying they're not good and don't deserve promoted posts, but they are disproportionately represented in promoted posts given how many there are in the profession.

[BiBabbles]

That's horrible, I imagine those types of comments have put many men off of caring professions. I hope these nasty types aren't also hypocrites who think we need more diversity in the classroom.

When my spouse was a SAHD, he heard more than a few of these types of comments. I remember some particularly vicious ones that left him shaken.

As for who is more risky to children, there are a wide range of studies of varying quality, but generally it's whoever is around them most in a trusted position of authority. That's why mothers are the most common perpetrators of child murder - we could use that to say women are more risky, but basic pattern recognition is that mothers are more often the primary carers. That's why safeguarding should be applied to all, assuming a group is safe is only putting kids at risk and these people assuming him going into primary teaching makes him a paedo doesn't make anyone more safe, it just makes them assholes.

[derxa]

Is the school referred to as a 'primary school' or a 'prep school'? That's what caught my eye as well.

[mumwon]

first I qualify as -well not young
anybody who says this is a ignorant or jealous or loves hearing their voice
Its the age of equality - supposedly - but attitudes seem to have hardened in all sorts of ways - some of which seem to be destructive both for & against
DC especially those who have had either no experience of good male role models or relationships or any such model, need to be able to see positive role of an adult male. Do these people dislike male nurses & doctors?
Are they aware that there have been some horrible examples of predatory females

[SadSisters]

You have incredibly weird friends. I’ve never encountered this attitude in respect of primary school teachers, and I know many (male and female).

Ditch the friends, they sound batshit.

[LondonCaIIing]

Since telling people he's going to be teaching in a primary school, I've had a few comments from people. Comments like "don't you think it's weird he wants to spend all day around children?" and "I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like". Basically implying my husband is a paedophile

People actually said this to your face? Seems very unlikely. What was your response?

[SadSisters]

I’m genuinely struggling to imagine who would ever have the gall to imply to their friend’s face that her husband was a pedophile.

[zippityzip]

I think your DH has done fantastically well to achieve what he has. And your apparent friends can fuck off.

He makes a difference to kids every single day. In a promising and prestigious career.

If THEY think that, it says far more about THEM than your husband. Friends like that I would be cutting off for good.

[kellihay]

This makes no sense to me. SURELY if you were going to be that outrageous you'd say male teachers around GCSE and A Level students is more of a risk, as they hit puberty and can be more sexually aware?
My DP is a teacher so I don't actually think this.

But my god, that makes me want to be sick. Who would think a man wants to touch little children all under 11????????????

[listsandbudgets]

Tes there are paedophiles who look to work with children but insane to suggest that applies to most men who work with children.

DSs class teacher this year (year 3) is a man and he's absolutely superb teacher. It's never crossed my mind that he might be a paedophile. As far as I can tell hes a teacher because he's good at it. Ive learnt almost as much maths from his videoes this term as I learnt in my whole school career

[maudspellbody]

I was going to say what awakenotwoke said.
I was a primary teacher for 10 years and saw the mediocre male teachers promoted into management constantly.

Now I work in about 30 different schools and it is the same there too. Lots of brilliant male primary teachers but overly represented in management.

I also had a student teacher who I mentored one year in year 1. He was absolutely brilliant and wanted to work in KS1. Of course he was pushed to working in upper KS2, because that is more 'manly' somehow. It's sad. We need to stop looking at the sex of our teachers and look at their skill sets instead.

[Kordelia]

I'm so old that I went to primary school in the fifties.

Two of my teachers were male, both excellent as it happens.

[Lifeisgenerallyfun]

Just goes to show most “liberal” people are anything but.to get their approval you will just have to wait until there’s a hashtag attached to how wonderful male primary school teachers are.

Or you could embrace the fact they’re wankers and embrace your DH for doing a fantastic job in helping to develop and nurture the next generation- hope the new job goes well (and you meet some nice new friends - just check out their social media first to ensure absence of hashtags)

[Lifeisgenerallyfun]

Oh and I had two fab male primary school teachers )much better than the nuns -this was in the 80s no one battered an eyelid