Men in teaching

[LegallyBlue]

My husband used to be a recording studio engineer but decided to become a teacher when we had children because the hours were much more family friendly. He trained as a secondary school Physics teacher but he's just about to start a new role as a primary school science teacher in a private primary school. It made more sense for us because it means a huge fee reduction for our own children and he's also getting some senior leadership responsibilities so it pays well.
Since telling people he's going to be teaching in a primary school, I've had a few comments from people. Comments like "don't you think it's weird he wants to spend all day around children?" and "I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like". Basically implying my husband is a paedophile.
It literally never even crossed my mind and I'm really shocked. I might expect this attitude from some old fashioned elderly people but some of these people are young and liberal friends of ours. Am I missing something here?

[Isthisfinallyit]

It wouldn't have entered my mind tbh. I've had excellent male teachers growing up. I also don't understand how your "friends" have come to this conclusion, what a weird thing to focus on. Does that mean that their kids can't be operated on by a male surgeon? Or can't stay in hospital if there is a male nurse? What about swimming lessons? Or club scouts? Or playdates in a house where a dad or older brother is present? Does that mean they can never go on a school trip if a male is present?

I'm all for safeguarding but teachers don't tend to be alone with a kid anyway so I don't see the problem. Even if the child has an accident they have to get a colleague to oversee them first.

[PurpleDaisies]

you will just have to wait until there’s a hashtag attached to how wonderful male primary school teachers are

In most schools, male primary teachers are absolutely worshipped. They can do exactly the same job (or a worse job) as their tender counterparts but they’re hailed as heroes and super teachers.

[wanderings]

On previous threads like this, male teachers have been absolutely fawned over; then suddenly the tide turns and male teachers are bashed because they’re fawned over.

Penis: bingo!

[Rowan8]

I have to say have never come across anyone that would make this comment or would want to be around them, let alone take notice of them, even if it was own mother or grandmother, my they both RIP. Traditionally men have always been professors/ teachers, now the change is mean more into sciences and math (like you DH) and ladies into humanities. Would move forward and will enjoy this new chapter in your family’s life and look forward to seriously subsidised private school congrats for his new role.

[Devlesko]

Your friends are projecting I'd keep my kids away from them tbh.

[JaniceWebster]

Local schools here are even more in demand when there are more male teachers - or male teachers at all, as the general view is that a mix of male and female teachers is better all around than female only. I completely agree with that actually.

You need new friends.

It is true that the lower salary doesn't make it a very male-orientated profession in general, but that's purely cash related, nothing to do with suspected a paedophile in every school playground

[LinManWellWellWell]

I’ve always been concerned that there aren’t enough male teachers in primary schools! So many female figures in children’s lives - but male role models are so important! I would have nothing but positivity to say to you and your husband!

[amusedbush]

This reminds me of a conversation I had with someone who thought male gynaecologists are "opportunistic" and perverted.

Yes, five years in medical school followed by years of gruelling training to look at fannies. I'm sure that's it

[Buckingham1988]

I believe we need more male teachers in primary school. 2 of my 3 most memorable (for good reasons) teachers at primary were male.
2 of my dc have had 2 male teachers. One was horrendous the other the best they've had (probably similar statistics for female teachers too). For my son having a male teacher was a great role model. His teacher seemed to get how he worked and just knew how to get the best out of him.
Ds1 never had a male teacher till he got to secondary school which freaked him out, I think it would have been easier for him to have had male teachers at primary level.

[countrygirl99]

My DH used to get this when he coached junior cricket and rugby. The reason he did it was our DSs played, but some people have nasty little minds. I just worked on the principle that people expect others to behave as they would and judged them accordingly.

[EwwSprouts]

Your 'friends'/associates are nuts. Teaching staff should reflect society and it's good to have the best people for the job whatever their sex.

[mrsBtheparker]

I might expect this attitude from some old fashioned elderly people but some of these people are young and liberal friends of ours. Am I missing something here?

I think it's far more likely to come from the modern super-parent, no-one ever did it right before.
My OH did supply in a school where he had previously taught and was well respected. On Friday he took a group to the swimming pool, a female attendant dealt with the girls, he with the boys. When they were getting chaged back he stood outside with his back to the door, opened it a couple of inches and said Come on, hurry up. When they got back to school a father roared into the school, he, OH, had been perving ar the boys. The Head started the proscribed procedures, telling OH she didn't believe a word, and we had one hell of a weekend. On the Monday morning, the mother of the boy breezed into school, apologised to the Head and said her husband had been off his head on skunk,. As a result of that OH became very distant from the grandchildren and I blame that moron on skunk 100%.

[Gatehouse77]

30 years ago DH wanted to go into a primary care role but in the interview with the college to do a course he was made to feel like such a pervert that he didn't bother.

It's not new and I think it's got worse/harder for legitimate men to go into such roles due to the prevalence of media hype.

[peekaboob]

We need more male teachers, especially considering how many children may not have a male role model at home.
Toddler DD has a couple of males in her nursery and she adores him, he's so good with all the toddlers. I had a fleeting thought of 'why this job?' but then I look at my eldest DS and how he interacts with her and other kids and some people just love working and being with kids, regardless of sex and with no sinister motives.

[AliasGrape]

In most schools, male primary teachers are absolutely worshipped. They can do exactly the same job (or a worse job) as their tender counterparts but they’re hailed as heroes and super teachers.

Yep, they get promoted to leadership quickly too, and most parents I’ve spoken to fall over themselves to say how much better their behaviour management is, or how much more their child connects with them or some such. This is neither backed up by classroom observations nor academic research, though can certainly be true on an individual/anecdotal level.

I’ve occasionally come across the attitude you describe when it comes to men teaching the early years - though I still think the hero worship and ‘isn’t it amazing that a MAN would want to do that, what an incredible role model for our children’ attitude is still fairly prevalent. It’s very strange that people would say it about a science specialist which, along with specialist sports coaches, is really not seen as unusual for a man.

I’m sure your husband will be fine OP and will do well in his new job, and I think it’s highly unlikely he’ll encounter any such prejudice within the school community itself. I suggest you ditch whatever friends have such bizarre and offensive notions, feel free to tell them why.

[icansmellburningleaves]

This is why so few men dare go into teaching. At my daughter’s primary school there was one male teacher and he soon left. I would have been So much happier to have had an even split between male and female teachers. Ignore these people. They are not your friends. It says more about their thought processes to even think this. Good luck to your husband.

[JillGoodacre]

All of my teachers from years 3-6 were male. My daughters yr5 teacher is male. My husband is a teacher. Non issue. Your friends are weird IMO.

[Redannie118]

My DS has just qualified as an early years nursery nurse. Hes 18, 6ft 6 and built like the side of a barn :) and the kids adore him. Hes so well liked the nursery he did his placement with offered him a job months ago as long as he qualified. They say theres a desperate shortage( and huge demand) for male early years caregivers. Your DH sounds great- its new friends you need !

[Jaxhog]

Well, men are a greater risk to small children. It doesn't mean I don't support male teachers but the plain fact is that they are a greater risk

Ah, the bogey man argument! I wish more men would become teachers tbh. At least half of my teachers were male (I think). It provides a more natural balance, and for many families with just a mum, a good male role model.

[Zhampagne]

As wrong as OP's friends are, can I please add that this is not the only reason why men less frequently specialise in primary teaching. There persists a very pervasive attitude that the teaching of primary aged children is a caring profession which is less intellectually demanding than teaching older students. We have as a society very little respect for the people who work with our youngest children.

[PurpleDaisies]

There persists a very pervasive attitude that the teaching of primary aged children is a caring profession which is less intellectually demanding than teaching older students.

Absolutely. I’ve got some great academic qualifications and I’ve been told on many occasions that I’m wasting them teaching primary children.

Whoever said teaching is viewed as a prestigious career earlier in the thread is totally wrong,

[CouldBeOuting]

I had a couple of male primary school teachers and was never aware of anything untoward. One of the best primary teachers DS ever had was a man and he was great - he is now in a SLT position in another school where I have friends working and he is very popular.

I work in primary school and have worked with several male teachers - I’ve never heard a whiff of anything bad.

The only time I’ve heard of anything untoward involving male teachers has actually been with secondary teachers actually.

People who assume that somebody is a paedophile just because they are a teacher, scout leader, transgender, homosexual etc. are NOT the sort of people I would be friends with to be honest.....

[mummyof2boys30]

Both my children will have male primary teachers when they go back to school. Plus the local youth clubs they go to all have male leader in charge. Never thought anything of it.

[Keewee27]

I'm a primary teacher. We have one male teacher in our school and he's amazing. I'd be more than happy if my boys had him for a teacher. Can't believe some people think that way!

[SueEllenMishke]

You need new friends.

We need more male primary school teachers and nursery nurses.