Men in teaching

[LegallyBlue]

My husband used to be a recording studio engineer but decided to become a teacher when we had children because the hours were much more family friendly. He trained as a secondary school Physics teacher but he's just about to start a new role as a primary school science teacher in a private primary school. It made more sense for us because it means a huge fee reduction for our own children and he's also getting some senior leadership responsibilities so it pays well.
Since telling people he's going to be teaching in a primary school, I've had a few comments from people. Comments like "don't you think it's weird he wants to spend all day around children?" and "I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like". Basically implying my husband is a paedophile.
It literally never even crossed my mind and I'm really shocked. I might expect this attitude from some old fashioned elderly people but some of these people are young and liberal friends of ours. Am I missing something here?

[Rojelio]

My favourite primary school teacher was male, he put so much effort and enthusiasm into teaching us, I credit him for my love of books.
Ignore them!

[whatwouldjohnmclanedo]

This is ridiculous! When I trained 15 years ago there were only two men on the course out of nearly 100. I have adored every male teacher I’ve worked with over the past 15 years. Although it hasn’t been many. No safeguarding issues have ever arisen from their presence! Your friends are the issue especially if that’s where their minds jump to.

[Georgielovespie]

My sons' primary school has a female head teacher and the majority of SLT are female with only 2 male SLTs. There are also a good number of male teachers (90 children per year).

We have had parents ask why the school would allow a male teacher in nursery because this gives him access to nappy changing in a few cases and access to children in toilets for help with their hygiene. I believe that no one single staff member is allowed to be alone in the toilets, male or female for safeguarding reasons and also self protection from accusations.

I would call your "friends" out on their comments. It is disgusting to imply that your Dh is weird for wanting to work with primary children. Most of the time they are a joy, funny, smart, only occasionally a nightmare.

[knittingaddict]

Like others have said, I think the older generation are more accepting of male teachers. Yes, we need more men teaching the younger aged school children.

[Jaxhog]

The ‘male role model’ theory is very much up for debate and doesn’t always hold up to academic scrutiny.

It's about diversity. The more diverse the adults a child comes into contact with the greater their understanding of the variety of people there is out there. Without male role-models, they are missing out big-time.

It's exactly the same argument we women make about diversity in the workplace.

[ViciousJackdaw]

Well, men are a greater risk to small children. It doesn't mean I don't support male teachers but the plain fact is that they are a greater risk

I thought the greatest risk to small children was family members? There must be so many households with no positive male role model - we need more male primary school teachers, nursery practitioners and even nannies.

[EmeraldShamrock]

My male primary school teacher in the 80's is now DD's vice principal.

[squeaver]

These comments are, of course, ridiculous but this one:

"I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like"

...is deeply, deeply strange. Did you call whoever it was out on it?

[Polly2345]

My kids have a male Key Worker in nursery. They flipping love him! I wish nurseries and primary school had more male teachers and workers.

[GwenSaturn]

That's awful OP! Both my dc (primary school) have male teachers, it didn't even occur to me to be concerned!

I think I'd reconsider my friendships tbh! Total disrespect for your DH. Please pull them up on this.

[CatteStreet]

'It's about diversity. The more diverse the adults a child comes into contact with the greater their understanding of the variety of people there is out there. Without male role-models, they are missing out big-time. '

This. Plus the obvious effect on breaking down stereotypes and role models for others in the profession.

My 12yo middle child currently wants to be a teacher and I think he'd be terrific at primary.

[MummyOfZog]

Havent read the whole thread OP, but totally agree with you. DH is primary teacher and I'm forever dealing with the "shock" when I tell people he's a teacher and they assume he's a maths/science secondary teacher or sixth form tutor, only to realise he teaches primary. Personally don't see the shock factor here - he loves it, has always been the 'fun' parent (I'm more of the organised fun type!) and honestly couldn't imagine him doing anything else! He teaches in a school which, thankfully, has 2-3 other male primary teachers along with a male headteacher so it's not considered too extraordinary by parents of his pupils!

[GwenSaturn]

"I wouldn't trust him alone with the kids so much now you know what he's really like"

Agree @squeaver! Absolutely shocking. I'd be furious.

[Thingsdogetbetter]

Teachers male AND female have struck boundaries in place for contact with students nowadays. It is no longer some mythical paedophiles playground. As a teacher (female), I can't be alone in the room with a student without the door open and student visible from the corridor. Etc etc.

I think it's bloody brilliant he's a primary teacher. Kids need to see good male role models in all walks of life and primary teaching is lacking that. Breaking down tradition career stereotypes is important for both boys and girls. Assumptions that men don't want to teach small children unless they have ulterior motives is damaging and sexist. Insulting to men and naive in the assumption that women are 100% safe.

Tell you friends to stop reading the tabloids and to think before they speak. Or tell them to fuck off!!

[LegallyBlue]

Hi,
Just catching up on this. These comments came from a range of people, one from an ex-colleague of his, one from my cousin and one from a friend of both of ours.
It's funny how some people completely disbelieve this could have been said, some people say it's a very common issue and some people are saying things that completely align with this mentality.
It's also strange to me how young people appear to be the problem here. I assumed that given that young people tend to be more supportive of neutral gender roles and gender fluidity that it wouldn't be such an issue for a man to work in a role with young children. I'd just never really considered that it used to be more commonplace for men to teach lower down.
For the people questioning whether it's a prep or a primary. The school is from 3-18, he's working from 3-9 in the "lower" school but I used the term "primary" because it's more commonly used.

[LemsipLemsipLemsip]

DS wants to teach primary. At college they had a careers chat with him and focused on the prejudices and assumptions he may face. I felt really sad for him.

[EmeraldShamrock]

I suppose male nurses suffer similar sexist ridiculous comments.

[SummerDayWinterEvenings]

@GinWithRosie

OP...I am a primary school teacher, and that response from your 'friends' is appalling! You need to challenge it head on.

A previous poster told you to ignore it! Please don't do this. Male teachers deserve to be backed up when faced with this type of prejudice. It is very damaging.

And once you have challenged them, find new friends!

Seixism works both ways. Call them out on it -every time.

[EmeraldShamrock]

@LemsipLemsipLemsip @LegallyBlue I hope both of your DS's follow their dream they'd be well received by the DC.

[Throckmorton]

What on earth did you reply to them? Please say you stood up for your husband!

[gingerbiscuits]

Speaking as a fellow teacher, you need to ditch your so-called friends! Primary School education is crying out for more talented male teachers - not only are they equally as good at all aspects of the job but there are so many young boys who need a consistent, safe, strong, male role model that they lack elsewhere in their life, for numerous reasons.

[GameSetMatch]

I’d love my son to have a male teacher! I think a male teacher is a great role model for children. Your friends are strange.

[LJenn]

I just don't understand why the .. you know what he's like?? I would've lost it at the suggestion.

[TheHandStandBand]

New friends needed! And anyone who actually thinks this is a narrow minded idiot.

[Fishfingersandwichplease]

I love my dd having a male teacher - very boy heavy year and he keeps them in check really well. Some of the the kids don't have a father figure in their lives so l think he is more than just a teacher, he is an excellent role model too. Balances it out a bit. Good luck to him hope he loves it.