I'm at the beach on my own and self conscious ..aibu?

[happyclappyc]

So it's a gorgeous hot day,I've came to the beach on my own and I'm ridiculously self conscious
Aibu and a bit silly ?
I a mid 30s woman and I'm worried

Wisest insight on this I've ever come across came from David Foster Wallace:

"You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realise how seldom they do."

I live next to the beach, go most days and see loads of people on their own! Must be bliss (I am always accompanied by a crazy two year old ) we always go early as ours is heaving in this weather

OP- I promise you if you can get out of your head and immerse yourself in your surroundings you will have the most fulfilling and relaxing day!!
Time by ourselves is so good for us , honest. Time to just enjoy our surroundings, be mindful and having nobody to have to make chit chat with - it's therapeutic. You'll come away feeling energised!
I'm also very jealous btw

@happyclappyc

I'm worried people might think I'm a looser being on my own. My friends are all at work today so didn't want to stay in the house. Really wanted to come to the beach so thought stuff it. Now I'm here my eyes are all over checking nobody is watching me

Wow. Are you very young OP? I might have had those sorts of thoughts as a self-conscious teenager but as an adult I know the following to be true:

1. Nobody really looks that closely at other people unless they are doing something to draw attention to themselves.
2. Being alone at any particular moment doesn’t mean that a person has no friend3. 3. Doing stuff alone is cool and there are a lot of people who would give their right arms for everyone else in their lives just to sod off and leave them alone for an afternoon.
3. It doesn’t matter what strangers think of you.

Add to that the fact that with social distancing in place there are literally laws that prevent people from getting together with each other and it’s even less likely that anyone will give you a second thought.

I plan to do exactly this next week when l have got childcare for the day...literally am going to fall off the radar for a few hours!!

@BalanchineBallet

I’m afraid I literally can’t understand what is note worthy about being at the beach alone? Why on earth would anyone think you a loser? And why would you care if they did? Bizarre notion.

Indeed. Same for eating, visiting the cinema or a pub alone. It's all fine and totally not noteworthy.

I read a quote years ago which I think of when I’m worried about what other (strangers) think.

At 20 we worry about what others think of us.
At 40 we don’t care what they think of us.
At 60 we realise they haven’t been thinking of us at all.

Things you worry about probably don’t even register with someone walking past.

@IndiaMay

Now I'm reading this and wondering if I'm the weird one! Ì have lots of friends but equally if I want to pop into town clothes shopping I just go without the need to ask people to come with me, if I'm going to the gym or for a coffee I'll go alone. Sometimes I go with other people it just depends how I'm feeling! I'm surprised theres so many people who dont do this. If I'm around people 24/7 I just want to scream

I am sociable but I absolutely hate clothes shopping with other people. Would be my worst nightmare if a friend wanted to tag along. On the rare occasion my husband comes into town with me we split up to shop and meet for lunch/coffee. I hate having to discuss my thoughts on what clothes I am looking for, debate which shops to go into or justify if I want to double back to a shop for a second look. I trust my own judgment and in the rare event I want a second opinion I’ll send a selfie to a friend or buy the item and return it after showing to family at home and getting an opinion.

I think it's hilarious that you've posted this question to a group of mums, many of whom are working at home with kids not at school in a heatwave.

Am I weird to have blissful solitude on a beach on a gorgeous sunny day and not much else to do?

Honestly though OP learning to do stuff on your own is so liberating. Makes you feel powerful I think.

Looks like heaven to me with no one there 😂 relax and enjoy the scenery- nobody will even think about you- as I’ve got older I realise what a waste of time it was! Honestly learn to enjoy yourself

@Shedbuilder

Why would you go to a beautiful quiet beach and play music out loud for the world to hear? I hate this.

Enjoy the natural sounds. We lived for a while in Pembrokeshire and there'd always be some idiot who'd walk half an hour across country to get to a quiet beach and then blast out their music for everyone in the area to hear. It's a horrible thing to do. Enjoy the peace, enjoy the birds and the waves.

PMSL at the idea that someone who has just said they are cripplingly self-conscious would be playing loud music for all to hear!

Heard of headphones @Shedbuilder?!

@PrincessHoneysuckle

I'm 40 and I've always walked alone and on occasions eaten alone it really doesn't bother me.

I'm older than that and I agree. I don't see why anyone would think it some kind of big deal.

I’ve been on loads of beach holidays solo.

Sunbathing, dining, cocktails. All on my own (with my Kindle...)

Usually the only one alone but exactly NO shits were given.

@hashtagbollocks

Please don't turn the music up. other people will hear the noise from a distance and it's very very annoying. Do you not have headphones?

OMG there are two of them!

I love people watching on a beach but the only people I can honestly remember are two men and a woman who were dressed as pirates and recreating some sort of shipwreck scenario for a photoshoot. For hours, in the freezing North sea, on a cold day.

You aren't doing that are you op?

Bizarre post. Why would anyone care that you're on your own? Are you normally this self conscious?

Living the dream, there.
I haven’t been on my own for more than 20 minutes since March.

If I was on that beach the only reason I would be staring at you would be insane jealousy that you get to lie back on a beach and chill with your book while my toddler makes me run about like a lunatic and cries because of sand in her sandwich.

Please enjoy this while you can!!

I often used to go to the beach on my own, listen to the waves crashing, read, snooze, splash and wallow, and not have to make conversation with anyone. Very therapeutic. Enjoy😁.

Enjoy yourself OP🙂

I've done it..With a good book, music on iPod & assorted snacks. I go to park and cinema on my own sometimes too, it's nice not having to think at all about someone else's preferences and timings.

*There is no one there to see you

And if there was they would think

lucky lady
having some time to herself*

Are you saying that to make the OP feel better about being on her own??

I doubt they'd think that at all, they'd just mind their own business like everyone else on the beach.

Oops, first few lines were meant to be in Bold as quoting a poster.

What a stealth boast! 😆

Where do I need to move to have a beach like that in reasonable distance?? I have always wanted to live near the sea but have somehow ended up a two hour drive away from the nearest coastline. I’ve spent a lot of lockdown on Rightmove.

There is literally nothing I would rather do right now than be alone on a beach!

I intend to do this next week! Hope the weather holds. Enjoy yourself OP.