Who should get the room?

[newhousenewrooms]

I've been lucky enough to inherit a house without having to lose any family members! Me and my partner are moving in soon with our 2 year old daughter and his two children age 8 and 9 will be staying 3 nights a week.

Partner won't be contributing towards any rent/mortgage as it is inherited so only need to pay the bills which we will split.

It's a 3 bedroom house, 2 decent size rooms and a box room. I think that our DD should have one of the decent size rooms as she is there 7 nights a week. DP thinks his children should have the bigger room because there is two of them.

We haven't argued about it as such, he owns his own house but rents it out and it is making me feel like the green eyed monster as it's my house and why should our DD have a smaller room when she lives there permanently? I have spoken to my family and his family and they all agree that it's unfair on DD but I can see his point about there being two of them.

So now I'm stuck on what I actually think!

We are currently living in my two bedroom apartment and when his children stay, me and DP sleep on a blow up bed in the living room and they have our bed.

AIBU?

All three kids sleep in the big room. Smaller room is the toy / play room for now. Tv / study room when they are bigger.

Let me spell it out

Too kind, Bill.

Why don't you read the OP's posts? Your comprehension might improve.

I dont like the sound of this guy. He is profiting from you. What do you gain?

This is tricky. I would be inclined to put the 3 year old in the small room though. This may change as they grow up. Is there potential to add a room to the house? Or sell and buy a bigger house?

Also, make sure legally he can't claim on the house. Or even just move in there with just your daughter.

Tavannach I have. I don’t see any statements which tell us what we don’t know.

Can you point me to the ones I have missed

Please bear in mind that the posters saying your 2-year old DD should have a large room while two older girls are squashed into a box room for half the week, every week, almost certainly only have one child and don't have experience of considering the needs and feelings of multiple children as equals.

What ouchistoodonlego said
“Either, he contributes and changes the loft and his girls get the larger room in the interim
Or, he doesn't and they have the smaller room. “

Rent or sell both houses then rent or buy one that suits your needs.

Tough one. I would put the guests in the small room, and the save the rent your partner pays you to build an extension in the future.

I’d make both rooms beautiful and let your DD play in the bigger one ...but sleep in the smaller one . His children are sharing him so l think it’d be a kind gesture to let them have the bigger room when they come . When you take on step kids you have to have some compassion for them too . It’s not easy but worth it .

I would put the guests in the small room
They are not guests.

I’d make both rooms beautiful and let your DD play in the bigger one ...but sleep in the smaller one
So... the youngest gets both, and the oldest two get what? The Under stairs cupboard?

@BillMasen

Pg 1. he gets his rental income

Pg 2. he is in a better paid job than me and he gets his rent too.

With regard to maintenance if he and the OP have his daughters 3 nights out of 7 his maintenance contribution will be minimal.
The OP is sleeping on a blow-up bed in her lounge to facilitate this.

Honestly, I think you should keep your own houses. Plenty room for all children and no bitterness and recrimination over rooms, and, inevitably, other things.

Tavannach

No mention of mortgage on his house

No mention of how much more he earns

No mention of maintenance, he may pay more than cams minimum (a lot of us do you know)

You should put your partner on a signed lodgers agreement. There is a risk that he may make a claim on your property in future. He should pay you some rent as he is receiving it on his place.

I would give the two older children the bigger room to share.

And yep sleeping on a blow up bed is wrong. And IF he’s triuserung loads while taking the piss I’d be completely on board with the cocklodger comments

The point is, we do not know

Trousering.

Sell the house and find something that works for you all?

To all the posts suggesting that one step share with dd; according to OP's posts, her dd cannot share as has restless nights.

Bill, OP wants to convert loft and partner doesnt. He has better paid job than her and is keeping his rental money. She thinks they can afford it so we can only go on her comments. Think you may be projecting!

Personally think full time child should get the bigger room and partner should be making a contribution towards rent and conversion. Better still, rent house out and rent bigger house together.

He has an investment property having learnt that relationships may not last forever. You own a property outright gifted to you and your daughter by a caring relative. If he resides in your property without paying rent, you are putting your financial future at risk. He can argue for a share in the future. Get an agreement setup and charge rent.

She’s two! Put her in the box room! When she’s older you might need more space but right now a box room is quite adequate and you don’t want his kids feeling like they’re second class citizens In their home. And yes it is their home. Let him rent out his house and contribute with his rental income. I wouldn’t sell if it brings in money.
YRBVU to sleep on a blow up when his kids come though. Why can’t they sleep on it and you keep your bed?

Rent your house out.
Rent or buy a house between you that has room for all the children.

Your problem isn’t the children’s rooms. The problem is your partner who intends to live rent & mortgage free, only paying half towards the bills, keep his rental income to himself and then make sure his dcs get the biggest bedroom.
Keep separate households & then you & your DD get the whole house to yourselves and he can give his DDs the biggest bedroom in his own house.