Close friend ended friendship due to 'difference in morals'

[Unpopularopinion1]

Name changed. I'm really hurt by what's happened, and I'm struggling with being told my opinions, which I've never thought are anything too uncommon, are that 'disgusting' (her words) that she cannot continue the friendship. We had a disagreement about a certain subject, which led to her blocking me. A few days later she unblocked me and attacked me with all these messages about different topics, asking me outright what I think as some sort of test, before concluding my answers weren't good enough for her high standards.

AIBU for thinking two close friends, of decades, should be able to have different opinions without cutting ties? I'm not sure I have any choice but to let it go. I'm just angry.

*off

I would take back some control and block her before she unblocks you again. Even with differing views over such topics, there is no need to be nasty about it. Life is too short to have people like her in you life.

Wow. She sounds bonkers OP. Sorry you're hurting but you dont need someone like that in your life. Honestly better off without that. Looks like she's desperate for conflict and extremely misguided/ignorant.

Purity politics and cancel culture has eaten into people who were completely normal not 3 years ago.

On a completely unrelated note there is a very interesting documentary about Jonestown on iPlayer at the moment. Lots of the survivors were attracted to the “inclusivity” message and the left wing/purity nature and they quite literally drank the Kool Aid

I was unfollowed on Twitter by someone because I followed my local MSP and this person didn't like their opinions. Of course she had to tell me why she was blocking me and then because I was blocked I couldn't reply.

People like your friend were shocked when Labour lost because everyone in their limited circle loved Corbyn so they saw everyone else as evil tories, I'm left wing (luckily I can vote SNP) and even I could see why he was unelectable.

It's sad to have to say goodbye to a friendship and childish of your friend to not give you the right to reply to her, I wonder how she copes with the rest of the world where she will need to encounter people who don't share her views.

Her loss, not yours.

I have friends who I disagree on certain subjects, but I wouldn’t block them. I also never change my profile picture to reflect the latest issue. Doesn’t mean I disagree with them.

@GreytExpectations

The idea that you can’t even debate a subject now is ridiculous.

Well you can't debate a subject on Mumsnet, that's for sure. If you don't agree with the hive mind then you get piled on and ripped to shreds. It's ironic all the posters complaining about how OP's friend can't have a civilised debate when you can't have one here either!

Greyt you literally came onto a thread and described trans women as 'transsexuals' then had a flounce and said you couldn't possibly continue to discuss it because it was pointed out that that was transphobic.

Of course you can't have a civilised debate if you can't reflect on what your own statements are.

OP you are not a transphobe, a racist or a Tory. Your friend is a batshit bigot.

She needs to realise that not all opinions are so polarised. You can have empathy for genuinely trans people in the way you do without going along with all that menstruator shit. You can agree with the BLM movement without virtue signalling about it on SM. You can be concerned about the economy as well as being concerned about people who have lost their lives, and being concerned about the economy doesn’t make you a Tory.

You sound like a decent, reasonable, caring person with decent, reasonable, caring opinions.

And the Twitter shaming was a disgusting thing to do. I think you are well rid of this friend to be honest.

She sounds like a shallow ignorant virtue signaling arse. Good riddance I'd say.

I think lockdown has had a very negative mental impact on a lot of people, one of my relatives has gone off at half cock on social media and turned into someone I barely recognise. Off social media, in normal everyday socially distanced contact he can have a civilised conversation and almost forgives me buying the Guardian

Sorry your friend has turned into an arse @Unpopularopinion1

Greyt you literally came onto a thread and described trans women as 'transsexuals' then had a flounce and said you couldn't possibly continue to discuss it because it was pointed out that that was transphobic.

WOW.

OP, I actually share the same view as your friend on Trans women (I've had a few arguments with some posters on other threads!) But my God, you've given a perfectly reasonable and rational point of view which is perfectly fine. And actually quite lovely.

Your "friend" sounds insufferable. Unless you've got previous form for being very "right-wing", the racist term is so unfair and very harsh. You are so much better without this woman and I'm sorry you've had to endure this.

With regards to the Black Lives Matter movement, it's better to listen and learn than to shout loudly about something you may not know too much about. for you.

I have a friend who is quietly TWAW, although she doesn't post or support anything on SM about it. Her DSis is non-binary and she is supportive of that. She knows my views (full on Gender Critical here), I know hers. We don't discuss it. That's friendship, you respect each other enough to try not to "convert" the other. Your so called friend is a bully who is using you and your completely normal views to act the hero.

@Itisbetter

Greyt you literally came onto a thread and described trans women as 'transsexuals' then had a flounce and said you couldn't possibly continue to discuss it because it was pointed out that that was transphobic.

Yes, it’s considered transphobic by the TRAs, and those that are actually transsexual are often abused for using it to describe themselves. They’re considered traitors for having the full body modifications, including below the waist surgery. You must not misgender those that identify as trans, but must accept all labels imposed on you by the TRAs. Every day’s a school day, eh.

The irony is eye-watering OP. The woke, identitarian cancellists are not progressive. They are very far from it. Good for you for thinking for yourself and not being bullied into conforming with this mindlessness.

She won't have many friends left before too long. Most of the women I know agree with JKR (although silently because they are afraid of the mob) and none of us would ever virtue signal about BLW. You can care about racism and be horrified at that murder without having to showcase your virtuous thinking.

It's like the Medieval purchase of indulgences. We really are a very basic species and evidently have made no progress in our ability to be rational or have proper debate without being burnt at the stake since the Middle Ages.

She sounds like a right pain and I wouldn't be losing any sleep over this OP - tbh I wouldn't want a friend who behaves as she does. People who are all over social media with their views are not actually doing anything, but it seems to make them feel holier than thou. Concentrate on more pleasant friends in your life and forget about her.

I'd wind her up on purpose just to entertain myself:o

And why pursue diversity at all if you only want certain views? What's the point of having lots of different ethnicities and cultures and beliefs but insisting that everyone must have the same viewpoint?

If the interaction was as you describe it, your former friend behaved like a cruel, shallow self important fool. I disagree with Rowling but I was disgusted by the pile on and it made me re-examine my own attitude to
those who don’t share my left wing politics.

She sounds batshit, way too extreme, I feel most people think like you OP, its just the moderate voices get drowned out by all the vocalisations

The whole trans JK argument is all over and I’m fed up of hearing about it.
If you’re born a man you don’t menstruate, lactate or experience pregnancy...trying to shush women who do and stop them being empowered by these experiences because it’s offends you... well that’s not very ‘all women together’ is it?

I support anyone wanting to change their gender and fully believe the NHS should offer this service, living in the wrong body must be awfully traumatic, but that doesn’t mean middle aged men should be sharing changing rooms with vulnerable teen girls just because they ‘identify’ as a woman but still possess full male genitalia.

As a teen who was sexually assaulted in what should have been a safe environment, I feel very strongly that biological women’s right to sexual safety is not trumped by non biological women’s right to feel included.

I knew it would be over this.
She's fallen into a cult. You're better off out of it.
Sorry if you are upset.

@Unpopularopinion1

I've never posted on here besides questions about my DC, but it seems I'm of similar opinions to the vast majority of people replying to this. I have become a parent much younger than my friends, and on twitter all I see is all these 'woke' opinions and I feel like I'm so out of it. Like I just don't get it. It all seems too far. I would never judge anyone for their skin colour, sexual orientation, political party but I still don't fit in with the people I grew up with. It's reassuring to know I'm not 'disgusting' but perhaps just not in the same life stage as they all are. Thank you all, genuinely, for replying to this. I've really been beating myself up before I posted this.

It’s very sad how hard you were being on yourself before posting this, but it’s great to see you’ve been cheered by the responses on here.

It’s not you who’s the vile bigot here, really it isn’t.

I know it still sucks, but you are so very far from alone in this. Never confuse an echo chamber with the world as a whole!

I know this is rather beside the point, but the ‘people who menstruate’ label doesn’t fully work, does it? My mum could take umbrage with that as a post menopausal woman.