to think the royal family should have been more sensitive

[lootsharks]

Prince Charles tweeted: "Whether you are a Father, a Dad, a Daddy or a Pa, wishing you a Happy Father's Day!"

How about a short addition thinking of people who have lost their fathers given how many families have been affected by bereavement this year? They could have put 'and thinking of those without their fathers today'

This has been the year of the perpetually offended. It's so draining.

Sorry if you are missing someone OP. My Dad died on father's day last year and as a result DH and I have decided not to 'do' father's day (or mother's day) anymore. I am not on social media so this makes it easier.

But I don't begrudge anyone else celebrating it and think Prince Charles' message was really sweet.

He can't wish a dead person a happy Father's Day." Lots of people do this on fb, it annoys the hell out of me.. wishing people heavenly happy fathers day to people who are dead.

This called grief. Why does it annoy you?

Eh? Thats a lovely message. My dad died last year , my first father's Day without him bi didn't once think that a lovely message like that should be over shadowed by my grief. It would be rather weird IMHO

YABU

I don't get it. Its father's day, not children's day. Why would you commiserate with people who can't wish their father a happy fathers day? Understandable if there's a particular poignancy to fathers day for you, but I think most people just get a card and visit. Anniversary of death, birthday, Christmas etc is when I miss my dad most. But I wouldn't expect anyone else to draw attention to that.

Prince Charles is in a reasonably unique position of being in his 70s and still having a living father, seems like good news to celebrate to me!

YABU. They weren’t being insensitive, they were wishing a Happy Father’s Day to fathers on Father’s Day.

You’re clearly angry through grief, but people have responded to you the way they have because your post is just another attempt at people trying to modify others speech.

It is getting to the point that you can’t say anything without offending someone and people are, quite rightly so, tired of that.

I just wanted to make the point that Prince Charles himself didn't tweet it and probably knows nothing about it.

@Noeuf

*I've had some marketing emails about fathers as well. I just disregarded them as not relevant to me, rather than "complain". Isn't this what people do?*

What a stupidly disingenuous post, as that's exactly what I said I had done. Why not just say what you think rather than post some silly 'confused' wording?

After 30 years of living with the loss of one of the most important men in my childhood I'm perfectly entitled to suggest companies change their marketing.

Well, no, it's not exactly what you said you'd done.. You said you'd complain. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Complain away, but don't think it's what everyone else would have done.

I lost my father and he was young and I was young. On Father's Day I remember him to myself but I focus on my DH, FIL my brother who are all amazing Fathers.

Am I grateful when I get a message from a friend saying they are thinking of me today? Yes I am and I say thank you. To me it's a celebration of the father my Dad was and a celebration of those with us.

My dad died several years ago. I found it difficult passing by card shops each June for at least the first three years.

My thought now is not to be offended, but value the time you have with your dad. Hopefully a positive relationship, perhaps valued all the more because you may not have been able to see him in person or hug him during the period of Covid 19 restrictions.

Actually I would love a day of the dead type thing . Some kind of celebration of those we've lost day. With a snappier title.

There is. All Souls Day is on 2 November. Unfortunately it's a church celebration that isn't much recognised in a secular sense, so it would be good to see it extended in this way.

OP I'm sorry you are hurting. The death of a beloved parent is one of the most painful experiences there is.

Thisismytime

I thought about replying with more explanation and then I realised I was wasting my time thinking about someone picking at someone else's grief.

You're not worth my time typing anymore than that really.

*Mariel
*
That rings a vague bell (grandparents very churchy) but definitely not a feature of my childhood. I would love to build on that to include other religions/no religions. It would be great to have a day where people don't look sad or awkward of you mention a dead loved one.

@Noeuf

Thisismytime

I thought about replying with more explanation and then I realised I was wasting my time thinking about someone picking at someone else's grief.

You're not worth my time typing anymore than that really.

I'm not "picking at anyone's grief", you halfwit, I have my own to deal with. Another nonsensical reply. Save it, love.

YABU. Our card didn't say that neither has any friends happy father's days posts on Facebook. Don't be ridiculous.

2020 vision - the year of Covid 19 (to 20 something as it is yet to end) and year of being super sensitive snowflakery and taking the art of being offended to a new breathtaking art form!

Perhaps 2020 the post commonly offended era?

So please don’t take offence as that’s the point of this comment!

We all live and we all eventually....

Happy belated Farther’s Day or is this offensive for being off timing? Respect to all past, present and future.

He's probably desperately missing Harry and the grandchild he'll never see it's not all about you.

You are in the early stages of grief & one of the stages IS anger - I am sorry for your recent loss & this day will be hard for you when your feelings are so raw but nothing bad was meant by Prince Charles comment & if he had said anything about support for people who had lost their fathers recently I am afraid people would have accused him of insensitivity
I remember my ddad on Fathers Day - the happy times & I know many people will probably go & put flowers on their dd graves - over time you will be able to do the same

I've sometimes had some very dark thoughts and resentments towards other people around Fathers Day. My dad died in 2016 and he didn't even celebrate Fathers Day himself as he thought it was utter rubbish.

I would never verbalise it, but I'm angry. I'm angry that my dad was a very fit 70 year old who cycled 5k every other day, didn't drink much or smoke, wasn't overweight and was generally a massively positive and active person......who had bowel cancer missed for years. I'm angry that other people still have their dads who drink too much, are obese and smoke 40 a day. I'm angry that people don't bother with their dads that are still here. I also HATE the competitive grieving that goes on on FB. I've seen massive family picnics on graves and editing photos to make them look heavenly and misty with memes like "to my angel dad in heaven my heart is breaking. No other dad on earth was ever loved as much as you" or similar.

It's just not fair. But as my dad said to a fellow chemo patient he was sat next to while having treatment who asked him "why me?" my dads response was "why not you? Why not me? Life's a game of chance. You just deal with the hand you're dealt"

OP I feel for you and your very recent grief . You will begin to feel better and carry on soon. My first and second fathers day without my dad was a breeze for me. No problem. He hated it right? Fathers Day 2019 hit me like a train and I sobbed for hours.

As for the original post about Prince Charles - I (kindly) think YABU. I celebrate all those wonderful dad pictures - very alive, loving and loved dads. I celebrate them all.

I lost a parent as a child. But no, I don't feel offended that other people have parents.

They could have put 'and thinking of those without their fathers today'

But the day is about fathers, not about children of fathers.

Grief isn't always logical and sometimes it is the little things that can make you angry. I think you know that the RF didn't do anything wrong, and it is grief talking.

I don't know why people have to be so hateful when you came back and explained your situation. There is no need, you are hurting and this is a normal stage of grief.

Father's dad is never a great day for me, due to my children's loss and my own crappy 'father'. I usually limit social media on that day.

I am so sorry for your loss OP. I am also sorry that you have been given a hard time on here.

This might be AIBU, and I think we all agree that the PC didn't do anything wrong, but people who stick the boot in knowing what you are going through have no excuse.

Lots of people do this on fb, it annoys the hell out of me.. wishing people heavenly happy fathers day to people who are dead. Also people do it to Fathers who dont have or use fb!! So it's not really wishing their father happy fathers day, because they wont see it, its virtue signalling to everyone else.

Why the fuck would it annoy you?

It must be pretty miserable to be the kind of person who gets annoyed with how other people handle grief.

@Monday11

My dad died several years ago. I found it difficult passing by card shops each June for at least the first three years.

My thought now is not to be offended, but value the time you have with your dad. Hopefully a positive relationship, perhaps valued all the more because you may not have been able to see him in person or hug him during the period of Covid 19 restrictions.

If you are suggesting that as something I can do then it's a lovely idea, or rather it would be if he wasn't dead.