DH holds his knife like a pen

[user8558]

It drives me nuts.

It's pathetic that it irritates me the way it does. I don't nag him. I don't even bring it up (once ten years ago I did point out it wasn't the correct way, he asked what it was to me, I said it drives me crazy but that that's my issue)

It drives me silently crazy every day.

I'm ridiculous, why can't I just let it go?

Absolutely agree deond. The best 'etiquette' would be for example...if someone pours their tea into the saucer and drinks it like that...then you should do the same in order that you put them at their ease.
Sadly a lot of people see 'etiquette' as a chance to show off their general superiority

@DesmondTheMoonbear . It was difficult !! I trained him ( should have read ds ) from day one when weaning . He could barely get the fork to his mouth but I continued to correct him.. I know many NT children who can't eat with a knife and fork and it is everything to do with being taught correctly ! My dh is a leftie too and he was taught by his parents to eat correctly too. It's not something you are born with it needs correcting at a very young age !

Not only do I hold my knife that way, I cut up all my food with it and then switch my fork to my right hand. Quelle horreur.

There's absolutely no reason why this should be considered 'incorrect' or 'impolite' - it's middle-class posturing. A knife is a tool to cut up food to make it easier to eat. Hold it however you want. A 'wrong' way to use cutlery is a way in which you can't cut the food or you make a mess of the table. Does the way you're using it have the desired outcome? Carry on.

No one seems to have mentioned this, but holding your knife life a pen is a classic class issue. Middle class people hold cutlery 'properly' not life a pen, and do not point knife or fork upwards - surprisingly common now. It is the same sort of divide as napkin and serviette, or lavatory and toilet. How much you feel it matters is probably how you were raised re. table manners generally. Another 'no no' that I was brought up with but many people now ignore, is talking with food in mouth. Most of it basically comes down to consdering other people's feelings, and not wanting to discomfort them.

Maggie, I beg to differ. Ergonomically the 'proper' way gives more control and pressure when you're eating, which means that you've a better chance of cutting up anything tough into a neat mouthful, or slicing through a crisp roast potato without it bouncing off the plate. Eating tidily, managing to feed yourself with no apparent effort and without drawing attention as you saw away ineffectively, is part of having good manners.

Yes hyacinth the class issue has been noted but I think people are trying to skirt around it....

[quote oohnicevase]@DesmondTheMoonbear . It was difficult !! I trained him ( should have read ds ) from day one when weaning . He could barely get the fork to his mouth but I continued to correct him.. I know many NT children who can't eat with a knife and fork and it is everything to do with being taught correctly ! My dh is a leftie too and he was taught by his parents to eat correctly too. It's not something you are born with it needs correcting at a very young age ! [/quote]
"Trained". "Corrected".

Jesus Christ.

There is something about the way some in tv hold their fork which similarly drives me potty. I now have to admit that I think it is particularly the kardashians and maybe some other similar US probs. I think it may be to do with long or loose nails?
Hand right at very end of fork with index and even next finger sometimes sticking out oddly.
God I’ve never admitted all of that before !

Get a grip you sad little people

I get food on my tits every single meal 👍

I've eaten with plenty of people who hold their knife like a pen and I can honestly say I have never noticed anyone sawing away ineffectually at their food.

Speaking of feeding oneself with 'no apparent effort', anyone who has watched someone laboriously balancing peas on the back of their fork over Sunday lunch would dispute that 'effort' is the issue here. It's snobbery, pure and simple.

"Trained". "Corrected".

Jesus Christ.

Oh, did you not potty ‘train’ your children? Do you not ‘correct’ them if they make a mistake in their speech or writing?

@Clevererthanyou

Get a grip you sad little people

I get food on my tits every single meal 👍

Ha, I've just got gravy all down my top. The snobs on here will probably have to get the smelling salts out because I've had my dinner before 8 and I ate it sitting in front of the telly.

I think they believe it’s the proper way to hold their cutlery. It looks quite ridiculous as people appear to struggle with it.

They usual knife lick too, I always hope they slice a bit of tongue off 😇

Grim

@MaggieAndHopey

I've eaten with plenty of people who hold their knife like a pen and I can honestly say I have never noticed anyone sawing away ineffectually at their food.

Speaking of feeding oneself with 'no apparent effort', anyone who has watched someone laboriously balancing peas on the back of their fork over Sunday lunch would dispute that 'effort' is the issue here. It's snobbery, pure and simple.

Peas with Sunday lunch?!?!? 😱

I HATE it when people lick their knives 🤢. Would def LTB over that, so can empathise OP

Not quite sure why it matters.As long as there is no lol smacking who gives a shit.

lip

Just try it, Maggie. Next time you have a chicken breast or something that takes a bit of effort to cut through, try it pen-style and then the other way and see which enables you to put more precise pressure on the knife.

I judge everyone on ‘Come dine with me’ by their cutlery-holding choices. The pen hold is becoming more popular with young women, perhaps due to their manicures, which prevents them from gripping the knife properly. Tamsin Grieg’s character in FND is definitely an affectation.

@Paska .. my son was born with a grim diagnosis . I trained him to walk by absolute determination and daily physio . I was afraid he wouldn't be able to hold a knife and fork and worked very hard at helping him to learn among other things . I felt a responsibility to make him as 'normal ' as possible .. I did however teach my NT dd to eat 'properly' as it's your job as a parent to do such 🤷‍♀️

Start intentionally saying "pacifically" in place of specifically.
Then offer a cease fire...

I cannot eat with people that cannot hold cutlery. It isn't difficult, you're taught as a child. It's so affected, and looks so ducking stupid.

I cannot eat in our local Toby for this reason or at least that is what I tell DH

HMQ getting stuck in correctly.

Again, I'm going to ask how people on here feel about those with disabilities who have to eat in an "unconventional" manner. Keeping in mind that those disabilities may be invisible. Are you unwilling to eat with them too? Do you shame them for it?