DH holds his knife like a pen

[user8558]

It drives me nuts.

It's pathetic that it irritates me the way it does. I don't nag him. I don't even bring it up (once ten years ago I did point out it wasn't the correct way, he asked what it was to me, I said it drives me crazy but that that's my issue)

It drives me silently crazy every day.

I'm ridiculous, why can't I just let it go?

@shedbuilder
I love Damian trench!!! He’s basically right about everything

I hate to admit Damian T is indeed right about a lot !

You know if you went to Damians house you would get the finest linen napkins, freshly ironed. With appropriate cutlery for each course. Though I don’t believe he’s a fish knife kind of chap.

Oh my goodness I’ve just realised we’ve been spelling damien trench’s name wrong. We will never be invited over now

I bet he knows how to eat an orange with a knife and fork.

Oh gawd. Oops sorry. Good grief. I think he might also be worried about a few dropped capitals.

any double dipping is not acceptable, and needs to be forestalled.
but as to how people hold their knives, cut their rolls etc it is all snobbish nonsense.
the person who objects to it is the one who has the problem.

My husband has barely passable table manners. Except for pizza which he eats daintily with a knife and fork, like he is at a Michelin-started restaurant. The inconsistency drives me batty.

my Mother in law does this. It touches the darkest spot in my soul. I can’t take her seriously because of it.

A few years ago I would have agreed this mattered. But really it shouldn't. People eating with just a fork is much worse I think. Judgey much.

Jam, Marmalade etc - NOBODY is allowed to put anything other than a spoon in the jars (different spoon for each jar) and i'm also another one with butter knives who is not afraid to use them.

My OH cuts food with the side of his fork.
we stayed with friends once and they had a full-on blazing row at breakfast because one cut up something with a spoon and the other has repeatedly said they hate that. So it was a bit of a thing.

My OH often drinks a glass of water with his dinner. He puts one of those effervescent multivitamin tabs in. then uses his knife handle to stir it round. All the while looking me right in the eye.

I know that i can eat with the Queen and other high falutin' people because i have done so (at huge banquets, not cosy beans on toast in front of the TV). I'm not sure DH could.

Can I just distract from pen-holding foibles for a second and ask - which spoon should be used for breakfast cereal? Dessert or soup? Or is there such a thing as a cereal spoon? I'm sure there will be an etiquette guru on here who can advise!

I hold my knife in my left hand and use my fork like an American. I'm disabled and can't eat any other way.

FGS why does it matter what way a person holds their knife and fork? If I held my knife and fork 'correctly' I would make a mess, be dropping food all over the place. By holding my knife and fork my way I can eat nicely and not send my food flying everywhere and am less likely to dislocate my fingers.

I won't put myself at risk of dislocations just because some people think I should hold my knife and fork differently.

Do people seriously go around looking at how others use their cutlery. If I'm out for a meal, I have no idea how they hold theirs.

I am obviously such a heathen - cut my bread roll with a knife, use my knife like a pen and don't tip the soup away from me.

All of these I did not realise were an abomination till I read it on here

I hold both my knife and fork like this - I never even knew it was "wrong" until I worked in children's OT and the OTs were horrified - but it's really hard to unlearn it and despite trying I legit couldn't switch to the proper way - I dont see what the big deal is though? So long as he isnt flicking food everywhere or dropping it whats the issue?

which spoon should be used for breakfast cereal? Dessert or soup? Or is there such a thing as a cereal spoon?

Dessert. If you used a soup spoon, the correct usage would mean you get the milk but no cereal, silly!

And again for those who aren't really reading: nobody is going round pointing and wailing and gnashing their teeth at this.

I once went on a third date where he tries to eat his food like this.

There was no fourth date.

School dinners. "Hold your knife properly" like pen. Home "hold your knife properly". Not like pen. Utterly confusing.

I eat my peas with honey;
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife.

(Anon)

There are places where, and people to whom, this stuff matters. If you have made it to your stage of adulthood without ever having encountered either then you can merrily crack on as it clearly isn’t an issue to you.

And of course if this stuff matters to someone then it might affect their choice of partner, just as to other people it is important that their partner likes dogs, or supports a certain football team, or doesn’t eat meat, or is willing to go potholing at the weekend. You don’t get to police what matters to other people in their personal relationships and you certainly don’t get to declare those things to be ‘sad’.

No-one is running around restaurants smacking cutlery out of other people’s hands and shrieking ‘KNIFE LIKE PEN!’

Oh no. Not the crumby knife that's horrible. Butter knife and jam spoon please, then your jam will not go mouldy.

LTB...…..seriously.
I would have self combusted by now, and how can anyone eat like that it looks so uncomfortable!
It's like knitting in America where people hold the wool in their left rather than right hand. There are youtube videos of it - I cannot watch them anymore.
I tried it once and it felt like I'd put my brain in a blender, it's all kinds of wrong.

No-one is running around restaurants smacking cutlery out of other people’s hands and shrieking ‘KNIFE LIKE PEN!’

I'm almost there, I avoid Harvesters or similar pubs.

I’ve noticed a high percentage of people on Dinner Date eat like this, where do they get them all from?

Not quite the same but I don't think I could be with anyone who just abandoned their knife and fork on a plate when finished rather than lining them up against each other. I remember years ago doing out for lunch with a colleague who just left his knife and fork where they fell and I couldn't go out for lunch with him ever again it wound me up so much.