DH holds his knife like a pen

[user8558]

It drives me nuts.

It's pathetic that it irritates me the way it does. I don't nag him. I don't even bring it up (once ten years ago I did point out it wasn't the correct way, he asked what it was to me, I said it drives me crazy but that that's my issue)

It drives me silently crazy every day.

I'm ridiculous, why can't I just let it go?

@IwishIhadaMargarita, I am left handed and can’t use my knife well at all in the right hand so I think for me and spectators it is better I eat with the knife and fork left handed. It’s how my brain works. I only saw Andwooshtheyweregone comment it’s wrong to eat with the fork and knife the left handed way on here so don’t agree with them others were saying it.

The end of the handle should be in your palm cinnabar...not resting on top of your hand if that makes sense....
Not creative enough for a diagram...

Blimey you would hate me then, not only do I hold my fork in my right hand but often use my fingers to eat! 😁

It's inefficient, particularly for meat-eaters who need to exert pressure on the blade when cutting meat. You don't have the same control as you do when holding the knife properly, with a finger pressing down from above. And what everyone's skirting around is that it's also a class thing. Good table manners/ doing things correctly is supposed to be a middle class indicator. Not knowing the rules, or not bothering them, is supposed to be working class.

@CinnabarRed

Seriously, can someone post pictures of the right and wrong way to hold a knife? Because I’m really not getting it, even after getting a knife and a pen out and practicing.

The 'continental' version at this link:

www.wikihow.com/Use-a-Fork-and-Knife

@CinnabarRed
These are all correct.

Buy all pen-grip offenders some Kura-Care Cutlery, the handles have indentations where the index finger goes, so it teaches correct grip and looks much less clinical and institutionalised than the similarly styled caring cutlery.

It comes in childrens' size and adult size and is available from lots of suppliers.

The picture posted on here looks like a normal way to hold an eating knife, rather than say a carving knife.

I only eat with my right hand, I didn’t use cutlery until I went to a friends house for dinner when I was in early secondary school, I don’t use cutlery at home unless I have something like soup. Its always my right hand or chopsticks.

Never knew Americans held their knife differently! I did know they cut it all up and swap.

Ok. So looks like lots of us have these intense feelings of anger about these ‘little’ things but don’t want to express it because we know on some level that it would be unreasonable to punch someone for holding their cutlery wrong, talking with their mouth full etc.

But how do you release that anger?

Currently filled with rage as yet again a DIY job has been started without the care and planning required and without cleaning up afterwards and has caused damage to things and more stuff for me to sort out.

Am filled with rage. Like literally could punch him if I was that kind of person. Luckily for him I’m not! I tutted as I was cleaning up one of the things that his lack of care has caused and got accused of being critical. He’s gone for a walk now but am still left with the desire to punch something really bloody hard!! And a bit much of stuff to do that I really could do without!

My oldest friend licks her plate. We are still friends but it does drive me nuts.

www.mobilitysmart.co.uk/utensil-strap.html?ff=1&fp=6899&gclid=Cj0KCQjwirz3BRD_ARIsAImf7LMowonvMXQAnRWuJXxr6zwlSCO2TEWI9qyTM8UcT-o9iaWJRhRFhjcaAnuUEALw_wcB

My boyfriend uses these to eat.

I hold my knife like a pen. Nobody has ever commented on it. I don't think I've got terrible table manners. I never realised that holding my knife this was a thing until I read it on MN.

I think I might hold my pen like a knife....

The mum in Friday Night Dinner hklp. None of the rest of the family do. Find myself pondering the cutlery backstory every time.

HKLP winds me right up as well. As does holding cutlery the wrong way round. As a left-hander with two left-handed parents who all hold cutlery correctly it really annoys me when the wrong way round is called "left-handed".

I get it, OP, I really do. Is there more to this, ie is he annoying you in more subtle or serious ways but you've focused your anger on his lack of table manners?

@DappledThings

HKLP winds me right up as well. As does holding cutlery the wrong way round. As a left-hander with two left-handed parents who all hold cutlery correctly it really annoys me when the wrong way round is called "left-handed".

It isn’t the wrong way round for a left handed person, I’m right handed, I wouldn’t be able to use a knife in my left hand, so why would it be acceptable to force that onto someone who is left handed? Its no different to making a left handed child write with their right hand.

It isn’t the wrong way round for a left handed person

It is for this left-handed person and both my parents. I can't write with my right hand, neither can either of them but we all eat correctly. So I object to the wrong way being called the left-handed way.

Yes I had to relax my table manner fascist ways when faced with two left handers.... they still don't HKLP though and that's the main thing...

KILL HIM, I’ll be your alibi.

Is he a surgeon? You hold a scalpel like a pen

so many table manners are worse than this , FIL always starts his food without waiting for everyone to be served / ready
Talking with mouth full is the worst , I make a point of never sitting opposite MIL that does this whist waving knife and fork about like a flag

@DappledThings

It isn’t the wrong way round for a left handed person

It is for this left-handed person and both my parents. I can't write with my right hand, neither can either of them but we all eat correctly. So I object to the wrong way being called the left-handed way.

A left handed person having use their left hand for a knife and right for a fork are using cutlery correctly. Claiming it is incorrect is the same as someone suggesting that you are unable to write correctly and object to the phrase left-handed when referring to writing and considering it the wrong way. Thankfully schools have moved away from such ignorance and no longer force left handed children to use their right hand.

Mine started doing it after 30 years. He married me under false pretence.