To be relieved families probably won’t be going abroad this summer?

[Summermummer]

To keep a long story short, we as a family are fairly tight on money. I love my DC and would do anything for them. We live in a good area and my DC go to a good school and live in a safe place.
However, in order to afford to live where we do and pay the bills, money is tight. This means no “frivolous” expenses, which usually means no holidays.
Every year my DC return to school after summer to hear about all of their classmates summer holidays which are usually ‘big’ holidays (Orlando, Spain, etc) and they always ask why they can’t go on holiday and how I’m not as nice as their friends parents.
AIBU to be glad that just for once my kids won’t be made to feel left out?

I think what you can take from reading these replies OP - is that your children are far better off living safely and happily just as you are.

Do holidays abroad make people kinder or happier? Looking at many of the replies on this thread - I don't they can do.

As another poster said a few minutes ago - I think the world is much too materialistic and self entitled at the moment and if anything lockdown has shown people more for what they actually are!

In any area/demographic/school etc there is going to be a disparity of spending power. I worked in a very deprived part of Manchester in the 90's. Children who got a long weekend in blackpool as a summer holiday were considered lucky and flash by the ones who thought a once a week chippy tea a luxury.

I had a friend whose mother tried to keep up with the Jones's. She had a horse and competed in pony club events. To many an expensive dream. But she always felt like the poor relation as they couldn't afford transport and had to scrimp on everything to keep the horse (and I do mean scrimp as in no hot water in the house to keep up appearances).
I can understand why you are relieved but it isnt a nice sentiment

I think the world is much too materialistic and self entitled at the moment

clearly

these families missing their holiday abroad are people missing out on a wedding they've planned and saved for, on the holiday of a lifetime, on a holiday they are rewarding themselves after a horrendous year, they are people missing out on meeting family and loved ones they haven't seen in months, possibly years///

with the background being a pandemic that has hurt people, destroyed economy and will have devastating consequences

but hey ho, it's a kind and happy thought that everybody will be miserable so the OP's kids don't feel left out

To avoid feeling left out completely, shall we also wish for a full lock down preventing people from having a holiday in this country too?

You sound bitter op! Should everyone choose your life style and not have holidays? I hate folk who judge people not living in as good an area as them for going to Disney world. Snooty. As. Fuck!

@JaniceWebster you’ve taken one part of my comment and taken it out of context, perhaps try reading the whole comment through and the one that was made after!
The one where I blatantly stated that I don’t begrudge anyone a holiday abroad and that everyone’s wants and priority’s are different.

So no, to answer you’re question I don’t think it would be ‘a kind and happy thought that everyone will be miserable so that op’s kids don’t feel left out’ or any other kids tbh, but then you would have known my answer if you’d actually read my replies properly in the first place :)

Tbf I actually am not in the least bit bothered where anyone else is even going on holiday, it has no impact on my life whatsoever but at the same time that doesn’t mean that I can’t try and see where op is coming from. I’m pretty sure it’s something that she wouldn’t say to someone in real life, it was a thought that she has chosen to vent on here, it doesn’t necessarily make her a horrible person unlike some of the replies here!

I’m not happy you’re all suffering, I’m just trying to point out there’s bigger things to worry about

Not in my life there isn't. Right now at this point my biggest worry is whether we'll get to go on the holiday we've been saving for since 2017. It's a holiday of a lifetime for us because we usually only holiday (camping) in the UK.

All I’m trying to say is it’s unfair - so many people are making a huge fuss about no holidays when so many of us can’t afford that luxury

So we're not allowed to talk about it in case we upset the people who can't have it?

*Is the world really so full of such bitchy/judgey people/women?
*
I completely understand where the OP is coming from in regards to how she feels about not being able to give her DC a holiday. But to feel relieved that others can't go anymore? Well that puts the OP in the aforementioned category in my book.

I guess the children who live in small homes, sharing bedrooms with siblings, with a tiny garden, are equally envious of your DCs who have a big home with a nice life style, all year round, not just envious for two weeks in the summer. It’s swings and roundabouts. I know people like you who would rather have the big house and lifestyle that comes with it, but go short on luxuries, and I also know others who live in smaller homes in not great areas so that they can afford the extras in life, like meals out and holidays. It’s not a good attitude for you to have, to want others to miss out just so your own DCs can avoid being upset.

I went to an academically selective school as a teen. It was quite a way from my home and I was by far the ‘poorest’ person there. My home was happy and my parents both worked hard but there was no money at all for holidays, even in the UK.

I get where you are coming from OP. I used to hate going back to school after the hols and listening to where everyone had been.

Interesting post
I have noticed that all the people I know on SM who are railing against the release from lockdown are the ones who rarely go out for dinner/go on holiday

I understand your frustration but YABU.

I’m also a single parent who has taken my children abroad once in their lives (they are 13 and 10). Their friends, on the whole, go abroad several times a year and I have always explained that they are in a different financial position to us, have two parents contributing, etc.

This year, for the first time in 4 years, I had booked a holiday abroad for the three of us and now I’ve had to cancel because of the pandemic. I had been saving hard, they were so excited and that has now been lost.

YABU, because if we can’t go abroad it means we can’t see DH’s family who live in Spain. We couldn’t go for the past 2 years due to illness and PND so were so excited.
I do think people will go abroad this year though. Our flights were cancelled by the airline but we’re looking out for new ones and will book as soon as we can.

Yanbu to want your DC not to feel left out. Your words came across harshly on others it is understandable to want your DC to fit it with their peers.

YABU OP. Our trip to America was cancelled and we still haven’t had the money back. BUT we have saved a shit load of money in NOT going away so you’ll be pleased to know that next years holiday will be even better ... might even go for three weeks instead of two

I would be very glad if people weren't going, but that is solely because they going from a country with a high infection rate to countries where there is now less infection and I think that is wrong.

At the same time, not being able to travel may mean I will never see my father again. It will mean my mother doesn't get the support from me she needs this summer.

Lots of people who are unable to travel this summer will be in my position: people who chose not to send their children to a good school because keeping in contact with family was their priority.

You chose a different priority, OP. I wouldn't be crowing if your children had to leave their school. Please don't crow if I don't get to hold my dad's hand and say goodbye.

when was going to spain 'a big holiday' ? [misses point of thread]

This thread proves admirably that some people op and other posters among them will not be happy until everyone is as miserable as they are
Its a recurring theme on here these days
Particularly those that want us in lockdown till 2050

YAB very U. I never went on holidays at all as a child, at home or abroad (hols were one of a long list of things we couldn't afford). Now I can afford the a yearly week away somewhere in Europe if we budget carefully and thats what we have....so shoot me

Also believe me there will be dirt poor families in this country who envy the things YOU have. Would you like them to take satisfaction in seeing you lose those things? Guessing not

Also different people prioritise different things. We happily drive a battered 15yo car, live in a not amazing area & don't spend much on clothes & gadgets, but we like our hols & cinema trips & days out. Whereas I have friends who spend to-me-crazy amounts of clothes etc but would then complain about not being able to 'afford' a foreign holiday, when actually they just prioritise other things, which is fine

There are always people who have more than you. There are always people who have less than you.

@Summermummer

To keep a long story short, we as a family are fairly tight on money. I love my DC and would do anything for them. We live in a good area and my DC go to a good school and live in a safe place. However, in order to afford to live where we do and pay the bills, money is tight. This means no “frivolous” expenses, which usually means no holidays. Every year my DC return to school after summer to hear about all of their classmates summer holidays which are usually ‘big’ holidays (Orlando, Spain, etc) and they always ask why they can’t go on holiday and how I’m not as nice as their friends parents. AIBU to be glad that just for once my kids won’t be made to feel left out?

YANBU We are not going anywhere too and neither are a few of my friends. Some are hoping to go to Spain and France

although you should not allow your kids to make you feel guilty re. disney land. It is a very expensive holiday and a luxury.
Turn it on them that you very much look forward to going when they are adults and have goof jobs and can pay for it themselves and you are going as a grandparent.

Yabvu, I don't think it's great to welcome other people's misery just because of your circumstances.

I have a couple of friends that have responded with stuff like "well I've only been on holiday twice in 10 years!" when my holiday of a lifetime was cancelled because of my health. This seriously fucked me off, because it was a lifetime dream and I won't ever be able to do it now. You can go on your 2 weeks all inclusive to menorca whenever you decide to stop spending £50 a week on takeaways, Karen.

Our circumstances are all different and we should bring children up to understand this.

I guess if you wouldn’t mind people saying ‘I’m glad Summermummer has lost their house and had to send their DC to a rubbish school, because I can’t afford a nice house in a good school area and it upsets my children’ if those circumstances arose then no, YANBU.

I don't really get how your kids feel they have missed out.
Mine have never been abroad but have had a 2 camping holidays a year every year. They see their friends and cousins go abroad but never ask if they could. Oh and they are 10 and 14 so are aware just don't care.
When we go on holiday we do theme parks or zoos, picnics, beach days, meals out. The only difference is it isn't too hot and we can have a proper cup of tea here.
We can't afford to go abroad but even if we could probably wouldn't.
By the way I also think we need to drop the phrase keyworker. It is silly, someone who works in Tesco doesn't work as hard as a doctor or nurse and is paid accordingly. I am also a 'keyworker' I am a TA, I don't work as hard as a teacher, I am paid accordingly. Not all keyworkers have been putting themselves at terrible risk - neither me nor DH (also school support staff) have, we've just been going to work as usual.

I’m not happy you’re all suffering, I’m just trying to point out there’s bigger things to worry about

Not really have you thought what those trips might mean for some people?
For me my two European holidays mean seeing my family. Haven’t seen them since Xmas and they already missed their grandson second bday because of this. If I can’t do the holiday it means my parents won’t be able to enjoy from their grandson for a year. But ey there are more important things in the world! Of course there are. But even your children should be worried about them as the way they life they’ve got a good life as well.

With regard my big trip I’ll do it if I can. So far I’ve had a good year so I could skip it. But some of my friends are having the worse year ever. Close relatives with cancer. Really bad conditions at work so going to their Maldives holidays this year meant been able to disconnect for a bit. This holiday has now been cancelled but they can’t wait to get on a plane to be able to disconnect for a bit because for them travelling it’s what makes their life exciting.

So don’t compare your life to others and say those Of us that have holidays booked and can’t wait to go on them don’t have problems to worry about because yes we all do and for some people buying clothes or going to a restaurant is the way they disconnect. But some of us choose to save that money and spend it on a holiday. It’s not to show off or make your kids feel left out. Life your life and be happy with the things you’ve

I get where you are coming from ,but everyone has different incomes and lifestyles Im afraid! I went abroad once or twice as a child, and enjoyed both holidays very much .However I also enjoyed playing with my friends and helping in my DGC lovely garden as well! My own DC have been on holiday with us several times ,both here and abroad and many of their friends have as well .Quite a few havent TBH and they seem just as happy.Comparison is the thief of joy as they say ! Enjoy what you do have .