To call other women out on ignoring my presence?

[Bluehues]

Is it just me or does anyone else experience this when out and about with their OH? It happens to me a lot! Females he knows, or even ones I've been introduced to, will approach us and talk to him as if I am invisible. It really gets to me, it's so rude! Yesterday a women called to our house to drop something off to my DH he'd ordered from her DH's business. I've met her previously at a country fair type thing a few years ago where she attempted to be crazily over familiar with DH, which he rebuffed, but she didn't once acknowledge me even though I was stood right beside him. Fast forward to yesterday and she knocks, I answer, she asks me if DH "lives here?" I felt like saying yeah he rents a room off me. DH appears in the porch (by coincidence, we were on our way out) and so she again cuts me out and speaks to him as if they're alone. Then!.., 10mins later we bump into her on our walk, she comes over the road completely ignoring my presence yet again, coo's over our baby asking my DH all about "his" baby as if he's a single parent. I butted in a few times with normal conversation but I'm starting to think I should outright ask women like her if they can see me!? She's just one example of many. Please tell me I'm not the only one this happens to, and do you call them out on it, or let it slide?

Yes happens to me. İ wear a headscarf and it seems to put people off. Or they think I'm not allowed to talk or something... İ had one woman introduce herself to my DH before and i was with him he said said "nice to meet you, this is my wife giving up". She said "oh dear. İf you ever want to go for a drink here's my number!" We don't drink and she was batshit and rude. And i am quite modern with my headscarf and clothes. That is one example. İ had one man speak to my husband and I tried to talk and he said "are you allowed to be part of this conversation?" İt happens

@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken she didn't need to include me, I wasn't stood there like a lemon waiting for an invite, I actively participated in the conversation and she actively ignored me

[quote Bluehues]@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken is it daring to ignore someone when they are clearly speaking to you, or is it rude?[/quote]
Yes it’s probably rude. It’s also rude to keep inserting yourself into someone else’s conversation. She probably thought you were rude too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken how is it rude to join in with a conversation with your husband about your own child please explain. Are you suggesting the other women would say, I saw Bob the other day and commented on his son and his wife who was with him had the audacity to reply ??

No, I get on well with a lot of his friends, and those that I don't really know still say hello when out and about and we see them. The only time I don't make too much effort with my friends partners is if it's awkward.

İ also have women assume i can't speak English... I am white British with a Kentish accent and my DH is the foreign one!

[quote Bluehues]@Pelleas myself AND DH are BOTH the customers, it's food for us to eat, so she could just as easily butter me up, or even just be polite to me in hope of repeat business [/quote]
Take your business elsewhere.
You are obviously not a valued customer

Next time, you must shrink down into a ball, shuffle slightly forwards then jump up with a flourish and boom 'acknowledge my presence, acknowledge it now!' it won't fail, OP.

[quote Bluehues]@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken how is it rude to join in with a conversation with your husband about your own child please explain. Are you suggesting the other women would say, I saw Bob the other day and commented on his son and his wife who was with him had the audacity to reply ??[/quote]
Or “I saw Bob today and when I tried to have a chat with him, his wife wouldn’t let him get a word in.”
You’ve escalated this from a woman talking to a man she knows about his son in front of his wife, to a woman referring to your son as only “his”which simply did not happen. You’ve posted on the AIBU thread but only want “Yeah you’re totally justified” answers.

Never experienced this. All my husband's female friends are normal people.

Hmm, maybe place an order in your name MrsBluehues as a 'new' customer in a scientific test, observe & learn thought experiment?
Maybe she will get her husband to deliver to you?

Is your dh a good looking bloke? (I am not being flippant) - if so, the offenders that you have noted cutting you out of conversation might have a thing for him I suppose

This. My dad was very good-looking (a bit Gregory Peck) and mothers (sometimes quite sensible women) of other children at school would make total idiots of themselves, fawning over him (he had NO IDEA, being a modest man). They definitely wouldn't have wasted much time talking to my mother. The upside was, I did get invited to schoolfriends' parties that sometimes I might not have because their mothers wanted to see my dad when he came to collect me. We, his children, thought it was hilarious.

@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken your now making out I wouldn't let my husband get a word in to suit your narrative. Like I said before my husband tried in vain to include me himself because her rudeness was so plain to see. So maybe that also annoyed her

Or “I saw Bob today and when I tried to have a chat with him, his wife wouldn’t let him get a word in.”

Why are you making stuff up? The other woman approached a couple then totally blanked one of them. There’s no circumstance under which that is not exceptionally rude.

@Welkin

Or “I saw Bob today and when I tried to have a chat with him, his wife wouldn’t let him get a word in.”

Why are you making stuff up? The other woman approached a couple then totally blanked one of them. There’s no circumstance under which that is not exceptionally rude.

It was a reply to this

“Are you suggesting the other women would say, I saw Bob the other day and commented on his son and his wife who was with him had the audacity to reply ?“

@Notredamn

Next time, you must shrink down into a ball, shuffle slightly forwards then jump up with a flourish and boom 'acknowledge my presence, acknowledge it now!' it won't fail, OP.

I want to come and stay at your house.

I have known a couple of women to do this. Its rude and irritating, but I don't want to be friends with people like that.

@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken replying to me or not doesn't make sense why you made up out of nowhere that I wouldn't let my husband speak...

I get you op.. even if she is not fliering it is plain rude. If i get talking to a couple i generally include both parties or at least say hi to the one i don't know well.

I've got what I came for from the posters actually addressing my question, to the posters who said don't do business with them anymore, and walk off if it happens again, that's what we will do. Thanks for your input

I remember when I was recently married, in the shopping centre. My Dh best friend sister came bouncing towards us, with her Dh bare in mind. Completely ignored me when I smiled (I never met her before) and was talking to Dh even her husband introduced himself to me as it was just awkward

(She used to secretly wish my Dh would marry her lol, and that they would get their marriage arranged (Asian culture) even though my Dh never saw her as anything less than best friends sister)

I know exactly what you're talking about. Let it fly over your head

@malificent7 me too, who knew we are a rare breed

[quote Bluehues]@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken replying to me or not doesn't make sense why you made up out of nowhere that I wouldn't let my husband speak...[/quote]
You gave me a hypothetical opinion of someone I have never met of a situation I didn’t see. I gave you a counter hypothetical opinion of someone I have never met of a situation I didn’t see.

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

Yes it’s probably rude. It’s also rude to keep inserting yourself into someone else’s conversation. She probably thought you were rude too. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh, then you must think anyone stopping two people on a walk is rude? She had to have interrupted them in order to engage the husband in the first place.

Rude. And weird. One way you could counter it is by asking her questions the way you would and acquaintance of yours eg hi x nice to see you. How are you? Are you well? Then as conversation progresses more questions like were you locked down on your own, are you finding returning to work busier, have you been extra busy during lockdown etc.

If she continues to ignore you take your business elsewhere. It's a completely shit sales strategy and is unnecessary. Plus dim. Does she think the two of them will run off into the sunset together?

Of course it's possible (note only possible) that the reason she's ignoring you is because they had/have a thing and he's told her that you are not in a real relationship, are a cow, etc.

She seems to think of you as completely unimportant. Even if she does find you a little full or whatever it's still rude though.