To call other women out on ignoring my presence?

[Bluehues]

Is it just me or does anyone else experience this when out and about with their OH? It happens to me a lot! Females he knows, or even ones I've been introduced to, will approach us and talk to him as if I am invisible. It really gets to me, it's so rude! Yesterday a women called to our house to drop something off to my DH he'd ordered from her DH's business. I've met her previously at a country fair type thing a few years ago where she attempted to be crazily over familiar with DH, which he rebuffed, but she didn't once acknowledge me even though I was stood right beside him. Fast forward to yesterday and she knocks, I answer, she asks me if DH "lives here?" I felt like saying yeah he rents a room off me. DH appears in the porch (by coincidence, we were on our way out) and so she again cuts me out and speaks to him as if they're alone. Then!.., 10mins later we bump into her on our walk, she comes over the road completely ignoring my presence yet again, coo's over our baby asking my DH all about "his" baby as if he's a single parent. I butted in a few times with normal conversation but I'm starting to think I should outright ask women like her if they can see me!? She's just one example of many. Please tell me I'm not the only one this happens to, and do you call them out on it, or let it slide?

Why are people trying to deny that this can’t have happened. You don’t have to be too perceptive to know when someone’s blanking you and being rude. Some people would argue with themselves in an empty room.

@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken our family of 5, and her. Let's call my husband Bob as someone else did above, she said omg Bob look at your son hes's getting so big, I replied, yes he's growing up far too quickly, she never took her eyes of DH and said mines (her ds) is doing x, x, & x, how about your little boy, we both said yes, it carried on like this, she never took her eyes of DH even as she was backing away saying goodbye. I don't care if you think that wasn't her talking to HIM about HIS son as if I wasn't there and didn't exist, it felt that way to me

DH and I both have this happen. (Some) women who only know him will talk to him as if I'm not there, and (some) men who only know me will talk to me as if he's not there. We manage it by each including the other in the conversation via our body language and by using plural pronouns. So if a guy is just directing conversation at me, I'll look back and forth between him and DH when I respond, and use "we, us, our" etc when appropriate instead of "I, me, my". And will invite DH in by saying things like "Oh yeah, didn't you have a friend who worked there?" He does the same. I also do it when any member of a group is being ignored in a conversation - it happens in all kinds if situations; the quiet colleague being ignored in a meeting, the "plain" friend being ignored at a party, etc. I agree OP, it's rude.

In which case it's not AIBU it's IREA (I'm Right Everyone Agree).

MNHQ are going to need another category.

Is your husband particularly attractive? I would say these women fancy him.

IDK if he's done anything behind your back to make them think he's open to seeing someone else. I suppose it could just be he's a real looker.

Ahhhh so it's never happened to the other posters so it must be you that's the problem eh? Jesus wept!

No. It’s because there is no way in the English language that an individual can address only the male half of a heterosexual couple and refer to their baby as “his”. Can’t be done.

Drip feeding honestly, can you imagine how long my post would have had to have been to include every tiny detail. I'm not asking if I'm right to feel how I feel, I'm asking if others have experienced this, if you haven't and you can't relate, feel free to move on, like I do when posts don't relate to me

It's not the language that suggested I wasn't involved with our baby, it was her body language, her lack of acknowledgement to me speaking to her, and her tunnel vision of my husband

arriety oooo good point! I've just had several conversations with myself out loud about an imaginary baby! As you say can't be done. However there is body language and you can convey your baby with that!

No freakin' idea why I've managed to make some of it bold! Bloody App! Rouge asterisk somewhere!

@TSSDNCOP not at all, my post is asking if I should speak out when it's happening or not, but people are choosing to just tell me my feelings are wrong

FFS rogue

[quote Bluehues]@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken our family of 5, and her. Let's call my husband Bob as someone else did above, she said omg Bob look at your son hes's getting so big, I replied, yes he's growing up far too quickly, she never took her eyes of DH and said mines (her ds) is doing x, x, & x, how about your little boy, we both said yes, it carried on like this, she never took her eyes of DH even as she was backing away saying goodbye. I don't care if you think that wasn't her talking to HIM about HIS son as if I wasn't there and didn't exist, it felt that way to me[/quote]
So she didn’t refer to him as only “his”. She was just speaking to your husband.
If we bump into someone my husband knows and I’ve only briefly met and they said “oh (my husband‘a name) they’ve grown so much” about our kids, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. It’s a completely normal thing to say and way to interact. You’re being over sensitive about this.

@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken you are ignoring what I'm saying about her body language completely

Yes happened to me ,met a friend of his sister’s ( his sister had already let it be known she had a huge crush on him) was in department store . She came bounding over nearly knocked me and a row of shirts flying threw her arms round him the proceeded form10 minutes to remind him of what great times they used have, me and the kids just stood there opened mouth and had a good giggle when she finally sailed of into the sunset

Why are people jumping on the OP? Did most people miss the fact that she asked the husband if he was a single parent whilst stood infront of his wife? After already going to their house and the wife answering the door (so no doubt that he is married)

It has happened to me OP. I just ignore it but as this is happening quite a bit from the same woman i probably would say something.

Should be for not form 🙁

[quote Bluehues]@AllTheUsermamesAreAlreadyTaken you are ignoring what I'm saying about her body language completely [/quote]
I’ll keep it brief and answer your original question.
YABU. Do not confront them about daring to not interact with you.

So she didn’t refer to him as only “his”. She was just speaking to your husband.

The OP says;

Then!.., 10mins later we bump into her on our walk, she comes over the road completely ignoring my presence yet again, coo's over our baby asking my DH all about "his" baby as if he's a single parent.

Females? Is that you, Martin?

Your original question was has it happened to other people. To that, of course, you'll never get 100% agreement, and that's happened here.

As to what you should do, of course you can say something at the time, but as people have observed it could be her, or it could be your perception. If your reaction is disproportionate you could look a bit bonkers.

I think unless you say something there and then it's not worth getting bogged down in afterwards. But then I'd follow my own advice and cease business with them.

@OnTheRollercoasterCalledLife she didn't ask him that, she just acted that way by only looking at him even when I replied to her, as in I wasn't there, as if I didn't exist, that's what I meant by the single parent comment

Oh sorry, I’m muddling all the usernames up now. Too many cross conversations.

I’d quite like some rouge asterisks.

@midsomermurderess

Females? Is that you, Martin?

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken is it daring to ignore someone when they are clearly speaking to you, or is it rude?

@OnTheRollercoasterCalledLife

Why are people jumping on the OP? Did most people miss the fact that she asked the husband if he was a single parent whilst stood infront of his wife? After already going to their house and the wife answering the door (so no doubt that he is married)

It has happened to me OP. I just ignore it but as this is happening quite a bit from the same woman i probably would say something.

“ DH all about "his" baby as if he's a single parent” The woman didn’t mention about him being a single parent. This is just the OP’s interpretation of the woman speaking to her husband without including her in the conversation.