Not to want my baby son to be used to amuse my neighbour's children?

[castille]

Today my neighbour looked after my 14-month-old son for the first time for an hour and a half while I attended an appointment. We arranged it a couple of weeks ago, with a view to making it a regular arrangement. Later on, DH was home with DS and neighbour came round and asked if she could take DS out for a walk. DH thought this a bit of a weird request but let her take him, assuming she and I had agreed it earlier. But the thing is, I am pretty sure she wanted him so that her elder DD could have a "turn" with him after school, because she was jealous that her younger sister (who is home educated) would have had a long play with him when her mum was babysitting. I am really annoyed at the idea of her treating my son like a toy to amuse her children.

Am I overreacting? I'm so cross!

Yes you are over reacting

May get shot down for this cause its psychobabble

Castille, do you have siblings and what was your relationship with them like as a child?

I say this because I can actually see where you are coming from. On the surface it does seem unreasonable...however if you dig a bit deeper you may find why you really are annoyed...just a thought

From my own experience...I would be annoyed at the mother kowtowing to the older sibling because she would be 'jealous'. Which reminds me of my mother always putting my sister needs first.

Of course you probably don't have siblings and have no idea what i'm on about but thought it could be interesting to ask

hmmmwe have the opposite problem.neighbour sends daughter(now 5 but its been going on for a couple of years)
around so my older girls will keep her amused.
screaming headfits from the girl if mine sayss no,
someties my girls dont want to go outside in case they get spotted.which is really annoying.
next door is a pampered only child and very demanding.

Children like babies. Why is that a problem? If she had hurt him or been irresponsible I would understand. My youngest 2 were the favourite amusement of several little girls in the street for a while. And there's now another LO who is the centre of attention.

Why didn't the neighbour phone you first to check if they could come round to take your ds out?

I'd feel the same. Yes I'd want them to have him, but only when arranged, only when I didn't want him myself...otherwise I'd be irrationally afraid they would want him all the time and get to see all the bits I missed.

I used to feel upset when next doors would grab my Pfb and whisk him off without asking to show their visitors while I hovered on the doorstep, about to be late as I was just going out...! They meant no harm but I was a single mother, depressed and felt inadequate already...it just made me feel awful like they thought they loved him soo much more than I did
Although I realise now I was imagining it

It's normal to be possessive and protective. I would feel insecure if other people wanted my child around them a lot, but then I never like leaving my kids at all. Maybe just me...

No, Franny, not sarky at all - there are other ishoooos, which are the root of the problem, as you guessed!

I'm glad to see I'm not the only over protective/possessive mother around though. I hadn't realised how bad I had got until yesterday! I wasn't like this with my DDs. Maybe it's a mother-son thing?

what is wrong with you man..

sorry I posted that on the wrong thread!

I have some lovely memories of my young childhood. There were a lot of older girls on my street and they would often ome and ask my mum if they could take me for a walk - would have been about 3ish I guess, maybe a bit younger. And they loved taking me up and down the street, me pushing my doll's buggy and then - I ask - pretending to be mum to be, but all very innocent and harmless. I have a very happy glowing memory of it all.

When my baby sister was born when I was 9 me and my friends used to always want to take her out for a walk in her ppushchair or to the park. Novely wore off when she got old enough to answer back though, lol

would anyone like to borrow my children?

Please!!!!!!

I kinda think "Lucky you" If you miss being away from your children so much even for a short amount of time, you must have fantastically lovely well behaved kids!

Mine are lovely at times! But Such hard work I woul love my Neighbour to take them out lol

Does seem a bit strange to ask on the same day she has already had him though!

If I had been her I would have explained myself and said "Oh other DD wants to see him also"