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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want my baby son to be used to amuse my neighbour's children?

61 replies

castille · 24/09/2007 21:04

Today my neighbour looked after my 14-month-old son for the first time for an hour and a half while I attended an appointment. We arranged it a couple of weeks ago, with a view to making it a regular arrangement. Later on, DH was home with DS and neighbour came round and asked if she could take DS out for a walk. DH thought this a bit of a weird request but let her take him, assuming she and I had agreed it earlier. But the thing is, I am pretty sure she wanted him so that her elder DD could have a "turn" with him after school, because she was jealous that her younger sister (who is home educated) would have had a long play with him when her mum was babysitting. I am really annoyed at the idea of her treating my son like a toy to amuse her children.

Am I overreacting? I'm so cross!

OP posts:
ChorusLine · 24/09/2007 21:05

I would look at it as a break and some extra fresh air for DS....

DrNortherner · 24/09/2007 21:06

Err, yes, over reacting.

Kids love babies, she is a grown up supervising - she's hardly leaving her dd as his sole carer is she?

She probably thought ahh, that baby is so adorable dd will be sad she missed him today - it will be fun to take him for a walk.

Dior · 24/09/2007 21:07

Message withdrawn

TheArmadillo · 24/09/2007 21:10

YABU - she and her children enjoy spending time with your son, it's hardly a sin

moljam · 24/09/2007 21:10

wow id love it if someone i knew and trusted offered to do that!and completly understandable that her elder dd may be 'jealous' so would i!i love other peoples babies as you can hand them back when they cry!!!i think your overreacting tbh

princessmel · 24/09/2007 21:11

if you're not happy dont let her do it again. And tell dh the same.

3andnomore · 24/09/2007 21:12

YABU....what is your problem....????????

PondusLector · 24/09/2007 21:13

that wouldn't bother me at all
i don't understand the problem

Snaf · 24/09/2007 21:14

As long as she's supervising her dds, what's the problem?

Count yourself lucky you've got willing babysitters on the doorstep, imo!

Hulababy · 24/09/2007 21:14

Think you are over reacting.

Children love babies. The elder DD probably loved seeing your DS and getting a chance for a cuddle and a play. Bet your DS adored being centre of her attention too.

And you and DH got some time out.

I can really only see benefits, sorry.

And I do suspect that when DS is 2 or 3 and the neighbour's children want to play it won't seem anywhere near as annoying, and more a blessing.

mytwopenceworth · 24/09/2007 21:15

You trust her with your child.
You get a break.
Her child wants some time with your baby.
They think your child is cute and want to borrow him for a bit.
She might be a bit broody.
You are assuming, but you don't know.

Yeah, I think you are being a bit unreasonable.

Is this your first child?

I ask not to yell PFB PFB at you but because by the time you have a few, you'll be chasing the postman down the road yelling "Just have him for half an hour, just half an hour...."

3andnomore · 24/09/2007 21:17

is this your first child, by any chance?

gess · 24/09/2007 21:17

Gosh I would love your neighbour.

My friend 'borrows' ds3 for her autistic son's home program once a week (they 'play' (supervised) together). DS3 loves it, her son enjoys it. She said I can head off if I want although I usually stay to chat (our ds' are with her son's tutor so we get a chance to chat uninterrupted).

Benefits all round.

3andnomore · 24/09/2007 21:17

lol 2 p, we crossposted

MadLabOwner · 24/09/2007 21:17

You might be overreacting but I would have been exactly the same. PFB or not, I wouldn't have been happy with this. Babies are not toys for the amusement of other children

gess · 24/09/2007 21:19

Most babies enjoy being around other children!

LittleBella · 24/09/2007 21:19

??

Eh?

mytwopenceworth · 24/09/2007 21:19

No, they are toys for our amusement.

You should see my pic of my 3 month old ds in a frilly orange dress with a ribbon in his hair.

TheArmadillo · 24/09/2007 21:20

oh for goodness sake, she probably did it as a favour to give you a break. She likes your son, her children like your son. YOu get some time out.

IT is not detrimental to your son in any way.

Get over it.

I would be fuming if I was your neighbour and I knew this is how you reacted.

liath · 24/09/2007 21:21

I'd feel the same as you with my PFB. With ds I'd probably have forgotten to pick him up from the neighbour .

3andnomore · 24/09/2007 21:21

Now, if the child had been torturing the Baby...one thing, and no, of course, then it would not be right to "use" teh child for amusement...but surely, that was not the case here....

Bluestocking · 24/09/2007 21:21

I think you're overreacting. If your neighbour was babysitting with her younger daughter at home, it would have been entirely natural for the little girl to play with your son. She (the younger daughter) was probably crowing with delight about spending time with your adorable baby and the older girl was yearning to have some baby-time too. In most human societies, older children - particularly girls - spend lots of time looking after younger siblings and other little children. It's only in atomised societies like our own that children don't get to do this. Would it be possible for you to be more positive about what's actually very sweet and natural?

harpsichordcarrier · 24/09/2007 21:21

this has to be a wind up?
are you seriously complaining that your neighbour and your neighbour's child want to look after your baby??????? they have the temerity to want to play with him??????????/
dear god, I would move, immediately. what pariahs.

DaisyMOO · 24/09/2007 21:21

When I read the thread title I thought they were at least painting him or playing catch with him!

funnypeculiar · 24/09/2007 21:21

Um, what's the problem exactly? That your ds is so adorable that all the local kids want to play with him .
Am very you have such a nice neighbour you can trust with your kids. And who offers to take them out.
If you don't like it, feel free to send her round here