My Partner Keeps Tickling Me...

[MaudG]

Trying to work out if I'm over reacting!

My partner keeps tickling me, I've told him so many times that I hate it. I have also told him over and over again that it upsets me that he keeps doing it when I've told him I hate it.

Every time he says he's sorry he's upset me and he won't do it again. It can be a few days or even a few hours later, and he does it again.

Just to be clear that it's not prolonged or intense tickling, more just a little tickle lasting a second - but it's the fact he does it when he knows I hate it, then I get upset that he's doing something he knows I hate and doesn't seem to care that I hate it.

AIBU?

I don't know how long you've been together but right at the start of our relationship this was the kind of thing my abusive ex did and it only went downhill from there.

So my now DH tickled me once and got a swift kick in the knackers for his trouble. It wasn't an intentional kick just my knee jerk reaction. Funnily enough he has never done it since.

I'm so sorry, I really don't see the badness that some are seeing...ending a relationship because you were being tickled as someone suggested seems...well, a bit of an over reaction

@Curious78

Oh...well I shall continue tickling my 4 year old in spite of her giggling resistance. Similar sort of thing! Probably worse given she can't fight back. What a terrible mummy

Cannot you tell a difference between a child and an adult saying NO? 😳😳

I hate being tickled. If my partner continued to do it, knowing I hate it, I would seriously think about ending it.

YANBU. DH learned eventually.

@cherrysoup a poke in the ribs hurts, I'd be the same

@Jazzled

So my now DH tickled me once and got a swift kick in the knackers for his trouble. It wasn't an intentional kick just my knee jerk reaction. Funnily enough he has never done it since.

Someone recommended ‘wee on him’ - I prefer your solution. Sound more ... easily remembered 😂😂

@cherrysoup a poke in the ribs bloody hurts!

curious you're seriously underestimating how much some people hate it. I'd genuinely rather a slap in the face over being tickled. If you don't mind it/can tolerate it its difficult to understand.

For me personally I would 100% end a relationship if my partner continued to do this. Its not a minor irritation for alot of people, its fucking horrofic and if that has been explained to someone and they continue then they are a first class twat imho.

@Curious78

Oh...well I shall continue tickling my 4 year old in spite of her giggling resistance. Similar sort of thing! Probably worse given she can't fight back. What a terrible mummy

Did you enjoy being tickled as a child?

horrific*

You can't compare a four year old to a grown woman who has repeatedly told the perpetrator to stop as she doesn't like it. If your DD asked you to stop tickling her would you carry on doing it because you thought it was funny?

Tickling isn't meant to be a pleasurable experience anyway. I'm trying to rationalise it here! Sorry that I have offended. Is tickling someone for 1 second as they pass you on the way to the shower, or putting the kettle on a form of domestic abuse? Because that is what some of you are implying. Really?

YANBU. My dad (lovely, not creepy!) used to tickle me as a wee girl. I used to tell him that I was going to wet myself if he didn't stop! Maybe you could try the same

Has it really come to the point in life where T.I.C.K.L.I.N.G is criminal?

Sod you lot!

@Curious78

Tickling isn't meant to be a pleasurable experience anyway. I'm trying to rationalise it here! Sorry that I have offended. Is tickling someone for 1 second as they pass you on the way to the shower, or putting the kettle on a form of domestic abuse? Because that is what some of you are implying. Really?

If you've been told not to do it and you continue to do it then yes it absolutely is

Tickling is horrible. The laugh is involuntary. It makes me panic. I don't like it and shouldn't have to put up with it from someone who supposedly loves me.

Let's swap tickling for pinching your bottom or tugging your hair. Neither pleasurable, you don't like it, tell your partner to stop. He doesn't. Why is tickling any different if the op doesn't like it?

I would wait until he's not expecting it and smack him in the nuts. Then tell him you will do it again every time he tickles you. Either that or kick him out. I'm not kidding.

I once had a friend who’s DH tickled her without warning. She has had 3 children, the most recent of which had been born only a few months before, and she had a full bladder at the time.

Let’s just say that what happened next meant that he never did it to her again.

@curious78 My dad used to tickle me because HE enjoyed it. I absolutely fucking loathed it and as soon as I was old enough I yelled 'NO! I DON'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME!' at him. He got the message.

Your daughter is probably not old enough to be that assertive, but are you sure she wants you to tickle her? Have you checked?

@Curious78

Oh...well I shall continue tickling my 4 year old in spite of her giggling resistance. Similar sort of thing! Probably worse given she can't fight back. What a terrible mummy

I stop when mine says no and start again when she says more. Teaching her consent.

But if you're happy for your children not to understand consent, go right ahead.

samtsirch I am so sorry

Tickling isn't meant to be a pleasurable experience anyway.

So why would you do it?