Friend wants to be known as 'they'

[namechangeindiana]

I know there's a lot of discussion about this going on at the moment, but I read the threads and don't understand a lot of the terminology. I haven't done a huge amount of reading about it, but I know that I feel uncomfortable with it and don't really 'get' it.

I keep forgetting and calling my friend 'she' or 'her'. This then ends in a minor heated discussion and me trying to defend the fact that it takes time for me to change the language I am used to using. I try, I really do. We have been friends for 24 years.

Has 'they/them' always been a thing? Am I completely awful for thinking it's strange and not being entirely comfortable with it?

Sorry if I sound naive or am posting something that has been done a million times. I've not thought about it much until now. Willing to learn and hear other people's views...

Preparing to be flamed...

Pronouns are used as shorthand if the don’t convey the information you need you don’t use them. So you’d really just say “ TheyJohn/Joan is in the other room”

@IAmFleshIAmBone

Pisses me right off how it's just expected. And we get admonished for saying well actually no, MY boundaries trump your hurt feelings

Yes - you can ask but not demand.

Your feelings don't trump everyone else's (especially since this is a fairly new phenomenon).