To ask for your controversial parenting tips?!

[Napqueen1234]

No judgement here. I want to know what you do day to day that works for you/your family but others may think are a bit crazy or controversial.

Today I told a friend that every day when kids are in bed (3 and 1) I tidy the whole downstairs and put all toys away so I can have a completely toy/child free evening. we just have one living room so all their toys downstairs are there and I can’t relax unless it’s tidy. It takes maybe 5/10 mins and is so worth it. My friend was shocked and said she could never be bothered to do that every day (fair enough) and thought it was mad considering it gets immediately destroyed by 6:30 the next morning. I wouldn’t even consider not tidying but to each their own and wouldn’t matter to me if someone else didn’t!

Ok not particularly controversial but anyone else have anything more juicy??

I'm from working class background but sadly middle class these days, so when we go on holiday I do it in the way of my childhood - we have a caravan and they stay up late every night high on fizzy drinks amd party tumes while the adults drink, and we gamble and eat chips and let them run wild and make unsuitable friends and call befriend unknown adults in brightly coloured coats. They love it and I love it - and many of my friends are horrified that we don't go to Centerparcs instead.

@OuzoWoozo I like the three swears too.

When I was a teenager, my mum thought it might do me good to repeat a phrase we heard someone else's teenage daughter use regularly: "I hate you mum! I hate everything about you." I was rather bemused by this idea.

@FleurDaxeny

bath when come in from nursery/school (up to end of primary)

you were ahead of your time, it's now the rule with the schools reopening

Ha, didn't know that - I will be telling DH that my genius status has been confirmed

I had 3 under 3 ,and one with autism..
So to save time
I for years
Showered and washed hair at night
Then put the next days clean clothes on and slept in them
It saved precious minutes in the morning

Oh I forgot ,toilet training went like a dream in our house
Smarties
One for a wee
Two for a poo
No problems

@merrytombombadil

I'm from working class background but sadly middle class these days, so when we go on holiday I do it in the way of my childhood - we have a caravan and they stay up late every night high on fizzy drinks amd party tumes while the adults drink, and we gamble and eat chips and let them run wild and make unsuitable friends and call befriend unknown adults in brightly coloured coats. They love it and I love it - and many of my friends are horrified that we don't go to Centerparcs instead.

That sounds awesome.

Dd would scream bloody murder when giving her any syringe at all, especially her vitamins. I was having to hold her mouth open and it became a horrible fight.
We used chocolate button bribes and she's like a different toddler now.

I spent a fortune on a cordless Dyson so my ds (4) could vacuum (he loves it and even does the stairs for me)

I leave milk out in a jug over night so that if the kids wake up early they can get their own breakfast (fridge is too high for them and milk bottles too heavy). They have never said it tastes off, but who knows?

As soon as my baby is done with the awkward newborn stage, I'll start treating him/her like an adult. That means refering them by their name (not some weird cutesy word), asking for their opinion even if they cannot talk yet, calling them out when they cheat in a game etc.

In my experience, kids LOVE it when you respect them. I see the light in their eyes when someone actually took them seriously and value their opinion, however silly it may be.

Adults gotta remember that toddlers are not toys IMO.

I could have done with permission to swear after primary school: the one thing that always made me really seriously angry was whole-class punishments, or even the whole year group; I'd be totally inconsolable about it for days at a time. I once expressed how angry I was about this at school, in front of the whole year (a teacher had to take me away to calm me down).

Bath once a week for under 8s

I will do it more if it keeps them quiet but for the ones who hate it I’m not fighting. They don’t seem to smell!

Great to see fellow swear allowers 😁🤬

Incidentally after a trying day - we are in thr middle of moving house, towns and DS is changing schools, I offered him a swear today, as he is very anxious,abd he turned me down. Said he would save them.

YYY to Tomatochopped 'chocolate for breakfast'.
Chocolate or licorice in the case of one particular DD.

@OuzoWoozo poor him, hope the move goes well! I’ve had times when I’ve said, “sure - you can swear - is it worth it though?” and she’s said, “actually it’s out of my system now explaining it to you.”
I do love a good swear though!

My 3 year old takes her own plate to the kitchen after meals at the table. She feels a sense of achievement doing it. Sometimes it makes it to the sink...just chucks it in. Most of the time it's left on the side.

I have never punished.
No time out, no naughty step, no loss of priviledges, no smacking.

@Camomila

I've always had DS1 on 'Italian time' I aim to have him asleep for 9pm (rather than 7), he then wakes up naturally between 7.30-8am. We live next door to the primary he'll be starting in September so there's no rush to get out of the house.

I also let him use real tools etc. with adult supervision a bit younger than most of my mum friends with did with their DC (I used to work as an EYP and also his nursery takes a similar approach so I feel fairly confident in what he can/can't do safely at his age).

Using a saw independently is on the list of the government expects 5 years old to be able to do. We do have a saw but I let my 3 year old use a sharp knife for cutting vegetables.

I let my 8 year old give me the finger. She never does it when she's annoyed or angry, it's just a joke and she knows not to do it out of the house. We've even once given DH the finger behind his back together. Every few weeks I let the DC say a swear word. Again, only in the house they know they aren't allowed to do it outside.

My DC call me by my first name.

Thats all I can think of now but there's definitely more. My parenting style is weird.

I "home school" my 11 and 13 year old by working from home whilst they teach themselves online and cook using the hello fresh recipes we have delivered. I dont help them with school work at all and they are left to their own devices a lot.
I think it teaches them independence. It is slightly neglectful though but as a single mum working lots of hrs what can I do?

I never ever co-slept with either of my kids. Even when I fed them during the night they went straight back into their cot. I also had no desire to breast feed.
Consequences were always followed through, tantrums were ignored, and if they didn't eat their meal, there was nothing else. Once they'd spent their pocket money, they had no more until the end of the week
They've always been taught to be true to themselves,stand up for themselves,but be prepared to admit when they're wrong and apologise when they are.
They're 22 and 17 now. The rules still apply to my eldest- loosely!- and more so with the youngest.She pushes the boundaries as much as she can,and, although things like consequences change, they're still there,and I still ignore tantrums!

Oh. No stairgate and only a one way sound monitor.. my friends are horrified I don't have a video one.

Some fantastic tips on here. I'll be using chocolate buttons for potty training and the swear tips. And giving them "adult" jobs.

Not controversial but not the norm from my experience. I make my DC do a lot of house work. They're 6 and 8 and they load the washing machine, put clothes on the line, dusting, hoovering, wash dishes, wash windows, put clothes away, strip beds.

I do the same with tidying, tidying before going out so I don't come home to mess and riding before bed so I don't wake up to mess. By that I mean a quick tidy , just toys or random pens or clothes.

@BoomBoomsCousin, that's a very interesting observation and I suspect you are on to something there. I would never say OK if someone was whining or tantrumming though.

If I thought I had been saying no a lot, or if I reconsidered, I used to change my mind later and tell the DC they had had a good idea, and say sorry I hadn't said yes initially.

I’m pretty chilled about swearing too as long as they’re swearing about something and not at someone - and only around the house lest they give grandad an aneurism. I don’t stress about homework, we support them to do it but I won’t battle them over it.