To ask for your controversial parenting tips?!

[Napqueen1234]

No judgement here. I want to know what you do day to day that works for you/your family but others may think are a bit crazy or controversial.

Today I told a friend that every day when kids are in bed (3 and 1) I tidy the whole downstairs and put all toys away so I can have a completely toy/child free evening. we just have one living room so all their toys downstairs are there and I can’t relax unless it’s tidy. It takes maybe 5/10 mins and is so worth it. My friend was shocked and said she could never be bothered to do that every day (fair enough) and thought it was mad considering it gets immediately destroyed by 6:30 the next morning. I wouldn’t even consider not tidying but to each their own and wouldn’t matter to me if someone else didn’t!

Ok not particularly controversial but anyone else have anything more juicy??

I haven’t read the everything but thank you @JamesTKirkcompatible, the bath thing has me roaring with laughter 😂

Mine is probably that DH does the bulk of the parenting. I’ll be better with older kids, for now I’m cuddles and stories, DH is playing and skills development (bike, cooking, drawing). DS is just over 2 and can draw a face, cut his own cucumber and ride a balance bike. We also realised v quickly that the only way to stop him doing something mildly risky is to let him hurt himself (I’m talking bumps not loss of limbs). DS has decent judgement now and he’s pretty nimble!

I remember Medised too. It was awesome. The day i went to get some and discovered they had raised the age limit, the pharmacist took pity on me and said Calpol and Piriton would do the same job.

TV not working on sunny days is brilliant!

we have bath cake as well @redwoodmazza. all my bad parenting appears to revolve around baths

I sometimes put DS in the shower with the plug in (it’s an over bath one) in the morning so I can get ready in peace. Also do a bath every night because he loves it and it’s easier to wipe his face when the grime has been moistened a bit. In hot weather I bail it out to pour on the garden by way of environmental penance

How can ‘sleep training’ be deemed controversial? Back in the day it was known as putting your wains to bed in their rooms and not putting up with any nonsense.

This is culturally specific, with babies and toddlers at least. My mum (Italian) had never heard of CC till I had DC, I don't know anyone of my many cousins who has done it either. Some people do shush pat etc but the one where you leave the room is really controversial there.
(I coslept which is controversial amongst her generation but less so in mine)

I DO limit screen time. Not all kids "self regulate" and use their time to learn Mandarin and write novels.

If I left mind to it they'd be bug eyed and yellow from lack of daylight, half starved from living on handfuls of crisps and completely non verbal..
I have rules, more than one, and I expect to be spoken to with respect. I have too many friends whose teens swear at them and while I know it's gonna happen at some point it's not going to go well for them.
I do allow swearing in general though, I agree it's cathartic. Someone cut me up the other day in the car and Ds and me both went " fucking dickhead!" In unison.

No set bedtime

No set screen time

My children were allowed to stay home if they needed a break from school.

We home educate our youngest child. This means we might sleep until 10 am and be up at 11pm working on science or maths

My kids eat whatever they want when they want. We have no rules around food in our house.

Bertie don't feel bad about the no mum after 8 thing. I have a cut off ( bit later) after which I tell them I'm only available for emergencies. (Also ADHD child)
I need to decompress and not have to speak or argue for at least 2 hours before I go to bed!
Not every kid is biddable and calm

I tidy up all the toys with my 23m olds every night. They know how to sort Lego into the Lego bag, plastic balls into the plastic ball bag, etc. They put all the letter shapes back into the alphabet puzzle mats too. I can only imagine that some people would think that I'm cruel for having my kids tidy up after themselves at such a young age. But they love sorting, it helps them to learn how to sort and they actually seem to love it. We have music and everything, and they refuse to put the wrong thing in the wrong place.

It also really helps them to wind down at the end of the day. And they know that in the morning there are no limits, they can dump everything out on the floor again, I'm not precious about mess when they're awake. So I try not to think too hard about it.

My 1st day off After 2 long days shift , I give my 6&3 year olds iPads, crisp and drink in the morning so that I can have a few extra hour in bed.

I have bought my non sleeping child some melatonin gummies
Half the recommended dose and he sleeps a dream. Without he's up until 11pm. Flame away

I’m glad to hear it wasn’t just my parents who used medised

Thank you IfNot :)

Also, more disgustingly, I bribe my younger daughter to get in the bath by allowing her to do a wee in the bath deliberately just before she gets out...

I do that too OP

It's nice to hear relaxed food attitudes.
My parents used to feed me food I hated (fussy growing up), and would leave me at the table for hours until I ate it
Which never got eaten.
I even took to hiding the food. Pockets. Fed to the dog. Drawers/units if I could sneak to them in the same room whilst i was just left there.

So I will have a much more relaxed attitude

@Camomila out of interest what do they do in Italy? I know kids generally stay up a lot later there do they tend to just be knackered and conk out? I sometimes think we in the UK (including me 100%!) make a huge song and dance about baby and child sleeping and when you hear of older generations and other cultures they barely seem to have any issues with it!

I don’t bother saying no unless it’s something I actually care about. Want to eat your raisins out of your bowl face first pretending to be a dog? Rock on. Only want to wear one particular stripey £4 top from H and M? Fine I’ll be a second one and rotate them. I think parents cause themselves so much stress battling kids over things that don’t actually matter. So long as you brush your teeth, don’t kill yourself doing dangerous stuff and don’t hurt anyone, I’m pretty easy going.

Napqueen1234
I think on normal nursery/school nights most kids have a bedtime, it tends to be around 9-10pm with the family having dinner around 7,
so have dinner, watch a bit of tv, fruit tea or caffe d'orzo (a hot barley drink) are more popular hot drinks than milk, then bed. We always used to say a bedtime prayer but that was 30 years ago! Not sure how many people still do.
If you are going out to dinner/having a dinner party kids usually come too.
That's not to say Italians aren't judgy in restaurants - asleep in the pushchair is fine, awake and joining in the chat with the adults or running around outside is also fine, clearly whingy and tired then the parents get judged (my auntie has a fairly posh restaurant and gets annoyed at the parents for not going home if the kids are tired, otherwise kids are more than welcome)

Never buy or introduce your kids to squash / ribeena / Capri sun etc
Best thing I ever did sticking to water or milk when kids were little, they don't need flavoured shite to drink and it's bad for their teeth. Got lots of eyebrow raises and eye rolls when I asked for water for them but it's better for them and now much older they don't like how sugary / fake it all tastes.

Another one, don't pay attention to school gate performance parents, one particularly nasty one told me she had been in to see who won the frog tongue poem and couldn't believe my son had as his handwriting was "awfully scruffy" these people being misery and are bitchy and awful and spend all of primary pushing and comparing kids.
I was so unprepared for it, the invite to a play date and checking to see what book level my son was on was unbelievable. Be wary of these types, keep at arms length and interact with hi and bye only. You will save your sanity I promise.

I bribe my 2 yo to tidy. She gets a jelly bean for every toy that's put away and has now started tidying away things I've left lying. This is probably terrible parenting but it works 😂

*jelly baby not been. The soft fruit ones.

Always tidy toys away in the evening so it feels like adult time. But my tip, from having a young child days, is to face the stubborn, sleep refusing, toddler towards the sun for 30 seconds or so at a time when rocking them in their pushchair (not sunburning them, shush please to the MN crazies), so that they have to close their eyes, and.... fall asleep! Winner!

I never made my kids go to school sports days. This is also considered terrible on mumsnet.