To ask for your controversial parenting tips?!

[Napqueen1234]

No judgement here. I want to know what you do day to day that works for you/your family but others may think are a bit crazy or controversial.

Today I told a friend that every day when kids are in bed (3 and 1) I tidy the whole downstairs and put all toys away so I can have a completely toy/child free evening. we just have one living room so all their toys downstairs are there and I can’t relax unless it’s tidy. It takes maybe 5/10 mins and is so worth it. My friend was shocked and said she could never be bothered to do that every day (fair enough) and thought it was mad considering it gets immediately destroyed by 6:30 the next morning. I wouldn’t even consider not tidying but to each their own and wouldn’t matter to me if someone else didn’t!

Ok not particularly controversial but anyone else have anything more juicy??

I think your way is normal, DH does it, I never bothered when I was on my own, the house became progressively shitter most of the time so although it seems pointless to tidy up, it does seem to have a helpful effect to start from 0 every morning.

I do the same as you (although I wouldn't call it parenting advice). I don't do it because I want a tidy evening though, I do it because if I don't make sure I do it every day it just gets messier and messier and gets on top of me.

Your example isn't controversial.

Mine is that CC is often best for everyone. Kids and parents. Did it at 9ish months with my first and much earlier with my second. Guess what we're much happier for getting some sleep.

I potty trained my DD with chocolate coins. She got a chocolate coin for every success in the potty. She was very quick to potty trained!

I'm happy for mine to learn the hard way (or through experience)

Refuse to put a coat on and it's cold? Fine. I'll take the coat. They ask for it when they're cold

They insist on climbing a slippy, muddy embankment when I've suggested not doing as they'll slip down and get covered in mud. They try n climb and they may well slip down and get covered in mud...they may reach the top 🤷🏻‍♀️

They refuse to eat dinner but I say there's no other food offered until breakfast. Then they'll be hungry until breakfast.

I would not let them do anything dangerous, I draw the line at safety. But I have 2 out of 3 very strong willed dc who won't be told. I'm happy for them to learn through experience

I put a TV/DVD (no aerial so only able to watch the DVD) in my DS's room on a timer plug when he was 3.5. He needs very little sleep and is awake at 5.15am every day, other than the few weeks round the clocks changing when his routine is completely out of sync and hellish. He'd go to bed at whatever time, sing or talk to himself or his toys until midnight/1am. We tried absolutely everything, giving it all the time he needed to give it a proper go. He's never slept more than 5 hours in his life even now. DH works away a lot. I was broken through exhaustion.

Stuck it in on a timer plug to come on at 5.45am for 45 mins. Then he could wake me up. It was a lifesaver at the time. That extra 45 mins sleep made me a safer parent.

I tidy at the beginning of his lunchtime nap too. I don't want to look at mess for 2hrs. He loves tipping the toys out when he wakes so it's a win win.

This thread just highlights how something is always controversial to someone.

Mine is if you give your child a consequence (such as "we're going home if you don't stop shouting" or "you won't have an icecream if you don't stop doing x irritating/dangerous thing") then you follow it through. Don't know why so many parents seem to have problems with this.

@Alittlebitta

I don't have toys downstairs full stop. My HV asked me while I wanted to erase the fact that I had a child I said I don't, I just don't want to sit in the lounge with toys cluttering it and she then asked if I had ever been tested for OCD.

What do your kids do all day?

I let my dc play video games since he was around 3/4. And he has no limit for screen time. Only have positive results so far.

Never had any inessential routines of any kind. Eg. no set bedtimes, no naptimes, no set mealtimes.
Linked to that, they did lots of things that most children don't do when they were very young. Eg. they were often the only children at the theatre or at a concert. Loads of spur of the moment experiences.
Taught both children to read.
Took DC2 out of school for up to 2 months at a time to send them to live with families we'd never met in foreign countries to learn their languages, and had their children to live with us. DC speaks 3 foreign languages. Sent DC1 to boarding school from the age of 13, because they were talented and earned themselves a scholarship to a school that could give them loads of opportunities. This involved DC travelling on the train alone for 12 hours to and from school.
I could go on...

I don’t allow the children in our bedroom. Ever.
For me, that’s mine and my husbands space. I want it to be 100% child free.

From the age of around 2 if either of them was ill ( temp etc rather than throwing up) I found that coca Cola perked them right up

My 11 month old goes to bed at 9:30. Then he sleeps the whole night through. If I put him down any earlier he gets up at 4!

Nobody else has gone there yet? Fine, I will. We eat in front of the TV. (Not even ashamed.)

Teaching your DC to read is not controversial

Not my own but I once saw a woman interviewed on This Morning and she was talking about how tedious she found bedtime as her daughter couldn't get to sleep unless she was stroking her mum's hair for ages. So she found a solution - she nailed a cheap wig to her daughter's headboard!

I'm going to amuse myself by playing Stealth Boast Bingo with this thread

I used KlippaSafe harnesses and a pair of dog leads on my twin dds when they were at the awkward too big for a buggy too small to be trustworthy on the pavement/right by a main road stage. Shocking how many people thought this was wrong in some way. Many of whom were the same people who blamed the McCanns or the Bulgers for losing their toddlers.

I would have assumed most people do that. When ds was little, I would take him up to bed and dh would tidy round Can't imagine sitting trying to relax surrounded by toys and mess.

1. they can wear what they want to school.
2. routines can always be broken for holidays, special occasions.
3. they don't have to be polite to all elders! This is a rule for one person in particular tbh.

I like the 3 word swearing rule.

@Pannacottaformeplease

Not my own but I once saw a woman interviewed on This Morning and she was talking about how tedious she found bedtime as her daughter couldn't get to sleep unless she was stroking her mum's hair for ages. So she found a solution - she nailed a cheap wig to her daughter's headboard!

I love that!

Ooh @dobbyssoc yours jumps out at me as a mother of an early waker! Do you not miss having your evenings to yourself?
And yes I know I’m very sad and tidying isn’t controversial 😂
I did sleep train both my kids. Does that count!? 🙋🏼‍♀️

I discipline my 6 mo. He gets a 30s time out (I put sit him on my knee with his back to me) every time he bites me during a feed. This has stopped the attention seeking bites and now he will pause feeds to chew on his bib when his gums are itchy before resuming. My mum was horrified.