To ask for your controversial parenting tips?!

[Napqueen1234]

No judgement here. I want to know what you do day to day that works for you/your family but others may think are a bit crazy or controversial.

Today I told a friend that every day when kids are in bed (3 and 1) I tidy the whole downstairs and put all toys away so I can have a completely toy/child free evening. we just have one living room so all their toys downstairs are there and I can’t relax unless it’s tidy. It takes maybe 5/10 mins and is so worth it. My friend was shocked and said she could never be bothered to do that every day (fair enough) and thought it was mad considering it gets immediately destroyed by 6:30 the next morning. I wouldn’t even consider not tidying but to each their own and wouldn’t matter to me if someone else didn’t!

Ok not particularly controversial but anyone else have anything more juicy??

We put DS in his own room at 4 months. He (and we) slept so much better for it.
We used CIO techniques that clicked pretty instantly, never had to leave him more than 10 mins.
Telly! My DS is happy watching telly for ages.. sometimes I let him watch far too much just so I can get things done.

Pretty tame

Nothing controversial here but like a pp perhaps more laissez faire than others. Even if it was snowing or pissing rain/freezing and I got the “ I don’t want to wear a coat. I’m not wearing a coat”. I just said ok. Then watched child getting soaked and cold and pretending they didn’t really care ( I’m talking older kids, pre-teens,). I was nice and warm in my coat so not my problem.

Mine is that CC is often best for everyone. Kids and parents

I'd agree with this. I was literally suicidal from the sleep situation we had before we tried CC. When I held DD out to DH at 5am sobbing and begging him to take her away from me I knew we had to do something.

Jimjammy, that's not smart.

@hyggemama that is so cute. Doing the invisible dummy and saying ah that's better. So adorable. Made me laugh :)

Tidying your living room is t controversial .
I’ve recently started bribing my two year old with chocolate button during nappy changes as he hates them and I’ve been kicked up the face whilst trying to control his flailing limbs and dodge the shit.

Not joking a week in he’s quite happy to have his nappy changed - buttons for the win.

Some people need to look up 'controversial.'

I bribe my eldest (a toddler) with money to do things. My husband thought bribes were chocolate or sweets and didn't get why he wouldn't do as asked for him, until I revealed he wants cold, hard cash.

I'm a 'lazy mum' because my baby only owns sleepsuits and only will until 18m at least.

I give dummies freely and just pay for dental insurance.

I let my DH say no for me because I feel bad, and am absolutely a a bit of a disney mum which is arsehole behaviour.

DC1 has had a computer since he was 3 with no screen time limits, I just design weird faults to happen on the computer that he has to fix to access the content he wants

I don't think it's controversial, but they eat crisps and chocolate every day and I think it's only on MN that people pretend their children only eat half a smartie on their birthday as a special treat.

@MoaningMinniee my mum did that to my dts when she couldn't find the backpack reins. Made perfect sense to me

Oh it may be v controversial here, followed GIna Ford Contented House with twins. was way too neurotic with it and if I ever had another child I think I'd be in the complete opposite direction. When I first went back to work I left my mum with actual spreadsheets to complete.

Other than bed time.. no set routine. No nap times. She got up when she got up. She ate when hungry. Slept when rubbing eyes.
Every day every nap would be a different length and time (still is at a year old now!), every sleep is different length and time. Same with meal times, Milk.. she drinks what she drinks and that's it.
Literally the most chilled baby ever.

We have a playpen. And cbeebies on most days. Even if just background music. Or I shove a programme on I want to watch and sit in the oen with her.

Own room at 4 months. Got sick of the sleep regression.

I never left my DD to cry. I breastfed to sleep until she outgrew it, or just for comfort anytime she wanted , I spent the whole of my maternity leave cuddling her and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

As a toddler I am very much a pick your battles kind of Mum, as long as it isn’t dangerous I say yes to most things or go for a compromise. So far she’s lovely and so polite at 2 years old. Also very caring!

I thought I would be a strict Mum but it just doesn’t work for us/ her personality so we definitely prefer a more relaxed approach. We spend loads of time outside but I don’t feel guilty putting her in front of postman pat with a gingerbread man.

I followed GF & loved it, but very controversial on here. DS was in his own room by two weeks, I never bothered with a monitor or stair gates.

I was a SAHM but sent my DS to a childminder once a week and enrolled him in a formal nursery school from 2 years.

I allowed very few toys full stop. Many toys I didn't like the look of that DS was given for Christmas or birthday I just took straight to the charity shop .

I saw nothing wrong with having a couple of glasses of wine in front of my DC - some parents seem to think its neglectful to have a drink when you are in charge of your own child. .

I fed my babies by the clock. Routines started the minute I left hospital. If they were asleep when they should have been fed I woke them by changing their nappy.
They had naps in the pram in the garden whatever the weather whilst I enjoyed the peace in the house alone.
I didn't give my toddlers snacks, they ate three meals a day and milk before bed. If they didn't eat their meal there would be nothing until next meal.
No child ever got in my bed, if they were really poorly I'd sleep in their room.

I don't think mine are controversial but...

Home education all the way. I don't like the thought of most schools and particularly hate post 11 education. I say post 11 as in my home town, secondary school at age 11 is quite a recent thing. It was always upper school at age 13, ie the three tier system which I much prefer. But if I was rich I would either get more tutors and the only school I'd consider is a performing art school or specialist school for a talented child and only post age 11/12.

I don't have set bedtimes anymore but between age 3 and 6, it was around 9pm. Before age 3 was anytime due to breastfeeding and after age 6, I've not been that bothered.

I don't really limit screen time.

All kids pitch in to housework from age 2. If you can walk and play then you can put your toys into a box.

I do not celebrate any holidays, so no Xmas, birthdays, valentines, Halloween etc. So much cheaper.

I don't believe a parent needs to get up in the morning, if a child wakes up early. Put them in bed with you and ignore them, ie obviously if past breastfeeding, needing a change of nappy or need your help to go toilet/potty. They will sleep next to you and wake when you do. Tried this with my own and children I've looked after for years and it works. Eventually they stay in their own bed. I work on the fact that I've had my body clock longer than them, so they can fit in with me, not vice versa.

Cereal for dinner never killed anyone. It's usually fortified with vitamins and minerals and what's wrong with weetabix, granola and porridge. Even crunchy nut cornflakes or cheerios won't kill.

I've always offered sweet treats most days and pudding after a main meal. Everything in moderation. And no food is demonised. (except red meat)

Alcohol can be sipped from age 4. And a small drink at special occasions can be given from age 8 or 9, ie I was given a snowball or babycham at family events and alcohol was never a mystery. I was also far younger than age 8 or 9.

No requirement to get dressed if not going out. No requirement to wear clothes as generally I don't in the house.

It's interesting that some of think it is controversial to have a strict routine but others think it is controversial not to have a routine.

Who actually decides what is controversial or not? .

@JoysOfString

During lockdown, we've elevated bathtime from a necessity to an actual activity. We have a large bathtub so toddler DC sits in one end of it and plays with toys and I sit in the other and read my book. Can drag it out for hours if I just keep pouring bubble bath in and topping up with warm water.

I've gone right off the saying "no" and meaning it (i.e. not giving in later if they keep on about it) - tenet of "good" parenting.

I think persistence should be encouraged. I was very much "No means no" at first with my kids and I've back-peddled on that massively as they've got older and, I found, easily discouraged from keeping on with things when they are discouraged by someone in authority. Now I give in sometimes if they keep on asking (not always, obviously, because sometimes it's a really bad idea with long term or significant negative consequences).

That there is no such thing as "parenting".

We are parents and we drag up our kids as best we can.

most nights I DONT tidy up, I just chuck it all in an ikea bag for when I can be bothered to sort it out properly.
By the time the DC are in bed I’m too knackered to be faffing about.

Also eat in front of the iPad/Tv sometimes as DD is a grazer and won’t eat more than 2 mouthfuls without it

DD has ears pierced as a ba

When my twins were tiny I’d put them in a playpen in front of the in the night garden. Not sorry

I do not celebrate any holidays, so no Xmas, birthdays, valentines, Halloween etc. So much cheaper.

Alcohol can be sipped from age 4.

I don't get the point of your post It's neither clever nor funny. Did you think it was?

@OuzoWoozo my child (a bit older than yours) has been known to stomp in from primary school with, “mum, I need permission to swear.”
She’ll describe what’s happened, and sometimes I’ll say, “that’s awful! Make sure you don’t waste it - pick a nice big swear word for that!”
It’s rare that she swears, and never without permission.
I believe that swear words have an important role. If it’s not an abusive word or directed aggressively at a person - go for it!

The invisible dummy is the work of a genius

Mine was: bath when come in from nursery/school (up to end of primary), not last thing. So much better because no one (especially me) was tired and fractious, and I could bribe them to be quick by promising TV, instead of them spinning the whole thing out to avoid bedtime. In the summer, they did get a bit grubby afterwards in the garden, but kids don't really sweat much so they weren't smelly and I just rubbed any dirt off with a towel at bedtime .

bath when come in from nursery/school (up to end of primary)

you were ahead of your time, it's now the rule with the schools reopening