To ask for your controversial parenting tips?!

[Napqueen1234]

No judgement here. I want to know what you do day to day that works for you/your family but others may think are a bit crazy or controversial.

Today I told a friend that every day when kids are in bed (3 and 1) I tidy the whole downstairs and put all toys away so I can have a completely toy/child free evening. we just have one living room so all their toys downstairs are there and I can’t relax unless it’s tidy. It takes maybe 5/10 mins and is so worth it. My friend was shocked and said she could never be bothered to do that every day (fair enough) and thought it was mad considering it gets immediately destroyed by 6:30 the next morning. I wouldn’t even consider not tidying but to each their own and wouldn’t matter to me if someone else didn’t!

Ok not particularly controversial but anyone else have anything more juicy??

@Alittlebitta fascinating. I'm totally the opposite - my kids don't have a single toy in their room

I don't limit screen time or sweets. As a result I ended up with two self regulators. They will stop half way through a cookie , or save a sweet for later (especially the 4 year old) and there is never an argument if I ask them to come off their screens to do something or to go to bed. They will often not be interested in any screen time. It was just never a thing. I mean don't get me wrong I have battles over other things but it's never been over those.

I realised that my DC were a lot like me (and probably a lot of people) , tell them something is restricted it's all they want to do , tell them they can have it when they want and they lose interest in it.

Also I don't make then eat their whole plate. I tell them to eat a certain amount and they have to try different foods at least 3 times before "I don't like it " is justified but I don't see why they shouldn't self regulate even at 7 (asd) and 4 to a point.

I get a lot wrong (oh so so many things wrong ) but weirdly the stuff that mumsnet wring their hands at is the stuff I firmly believe I have got right.

@Shinyletsbebadguys I think what you've written makes a lot of sense

Its funny about the sweets thing. With dd1 i was very strict and really limited sugar intake. With no. 2, ds, i relented but was still fairly careful, with no 3, another dd, she was such a difficult child all rules basically went out the window and i didn't limit 'treats' really at all. Of the 3 of them ds has the sweet tooth, and as an adult is hooked on sugary crap. So it was the one that got a moderate amount that has the sweet tooth. I think it is innate to be honest.

I have a 3 year old, before she is allowed to start playing with another toy the other ones must be put away, not so much controversial but learning lessons, she helps me cook all meals, she bakes with me and teaching her how to sew, with a toddler needle obviously, no toys allowed in her bedroom either bedrooms are for sleeping not for playing in, she also has a very strict routine, mostly down to medication, she also has access to computers and tv whenever she likes if watching the right materials theres no reason why kids should have screen time as it can be educational for them, pc especially

I let my kids chose their own dinners every night. I've done it since they were able to ask for it. So for example each week I buy everything I know they eat and will offer 3/4 different things .
Then they'll choose one together and they eat it. I know their fed, it stops rows. And me and DH have our own dinner when their in bed and cook together.
It just makes the evening easier rather than worrying they will be hungry or wasting food.

Also I don't limit screen time unless it's bedtime. They seem happier for it as long as they do one family activity or a task or whatever, they can use the tablet.

I had a very strict / borderline abusive childhood so I am very laid back with mine and let them do as they please most of the time in terms of bed time /waking time / meals / snacks / screen time / buying treats. They are 8 and 10 and still allowed to sleep in my bed if they want (I go on a pull out mattress on the floor as I need my space!!!)

They are very confident and resilient and I hope that the way I parent guards against mental health issues in the future.

I am strict about reading, schoolwork and treating people with respect.

teach children to make a cup of tea at about 6/7 year; this gives them something useful to do while you're having a lie in.

@Thighdentitycrisis I would be a bit cautious of this one....I was making tea/coffee from maybe the age of 8, and once tipped the boiling water all down my chest. I'd been doing it for a while and wasn't especially clumsy, so I still don't know how I did it. I think it's just much harder to pour accurately when the mug is at eye level.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan. Agree. As an HCP, I've seen too many scalded kids to go with that idea.

I'm all for teaching children to use tools under supervision - had mine ironing at 7 - but not by themselves.

Same with not locking cupboards. I didn't either, because I kept bleach etc up very high. But don't think kids won't drink it, because it tastes/smells foul. They will.