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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend is asking for baby clothes back

856 replies

Evasmummy2019 · 16/06/2020 11:49

So back in August last year while I was 5 months pregnant, my childhood friend kindly gave me 2 big bags of her daughters baby clothes. Her baby is 1 year younger than my new arrival. So all season appropriate clothes for my new winter baby. Most of the clothes were good condition aland very pretty, some were stained or bobbly or faded. But I sorted through it and kept what I wanted. My daughter has enjoyed wearing her pretty clothes for which I am extremely grateful for. It saved us an awful lot of money. My friend gave us lots of newborn, 0 to 3 and 3 to 6 months. My daughter is a very chunky girl so was out of the 3 to 6 at around 4 months old. At which time I passed on the clothes that weren't too worn or stained (threw the rest away or cut up for rags) to my sister in law who was also pregnant and expecting a girl. To which she was very grateful for. It being lockdown and all.

But now my friends mum has messaged me asking for all of the baby clothes back. My friend is not pregnant nor can she have any more children. And before she gave me the clothes there was no mention of them being on loan. Or having them back when I was done.
I've messaged my friend to confirm this and she's said yes. She does want them back. And in the next week or so. I find this really upsetting.

I could get some of them back but my neice was only born in early May so is still in them and my brother and his young family have been struggling financially during the virus etc. I don't really want to have to tell them that they need to buy all new clothes for their daughter because I need the clothes back to give to my friend. I also don't want to fall out with my friend over baby clothes.
Amy advice. Am I being unreasonable to be upset that's she's asked me to give them back. Or is she being unreasonable to ask for them back.

OP posts:
tinyme77 · 22/06/2020 08:20

I just received my daily inspirational quote and think that it fits: "Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting." Elizabeth Bibesco.

cantarina · 22/06/2020 08:25

OP You have done NOTHING wrong here. You may have lost a 'friend' but you have also most likely lost a ton of drama out of your life in future. I have never heard of anyone passing on baby clothes and expecting them back. Madness. So sorry you're having to deal with this, rest assured it's not normal behaviour.

SnuggyBuggy · 22/06/2020 08:25

Block. It sounds like you are going through a hard time and she is just making your life worse.

IntermittentParps · 22/06/2020 09:51

Well, she turned out to be a proper cunt didn't she? You're well rid, OP. She and her mate are like that horrible girl gang at school. I assume/hope your mum has blocked them now too. Fuck em.

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 22/06/2020 11:09

What did your mum reply?

heartsonacake · 22/06/2020 11:20

Don’t let your mum get involved - tell her to ignore as well.

Alittleshortforaspacepooper · 22/06/2020 11:46

Christ almighty. I don't usually say this sort of thing but... what a massive fucking bitch.

She sounds really venomous. Stay away from her, keep her blocked, tell your mum to block her too. Have nothing more to do with her.

She's a nasty bully. You deserve better friends.

Ilovechinese · 22/06/2020 11:58

@Snarkastic oh stfu! Why would people tag my name in a post then get annoyed when I respond? Pathetic. Now go away Karen I will not be responding to pathetic people like you anymore so go

wowfudge · 22/06/2020 12:08

Reading between the lines I think your ex friend's mum got involved because ex friend didn't have the guts to tell her mother she gave you the clothes rather than lending them to you. I would guess her mother bought many of them/gave her the money for them. You could always call her bluff about the bag of clothes and say a neighbour's CCTV shows them collecting it.

I can't believe the number of posts from people saying they would always ask if someone wants back what they've given them. It's either a gift or a loan, not both. If this is how some people behave it's highly likely there are fallings out because there's a lack of clear communication.

Snarkastic · 22/06/2020 13:03

ilovechinese
Why would people tag my name in a post then get annoyed when I respond

You literally just posted this and tagged me and asked me not to respond! Bless you Wink

OP if you didn't already think so then your friend's latest actions have confirmed she's totally divorced from reality. It still must feel shitty for you though.

Evasmummy2019 · 22/06/2020 14:02

@CrazyTimesAreOccurring

What did your mum reply?
My mum's told her to fuck off
OP posts:
cstaff · 22/06/2020 14:05

Your mum is class Grin

Evasmummy2019 · 22/06/2020 14:11

My other friend let's call her hannah who us in our friendship group has messaged me saying that she was given a silver Cross pram to use for her son. She's now been asked to return it.

OP posts:
DancingInTheGarden · 22/06/2020 14:13

I hope she gives the same answer!

CrazyTimesAreOccurring · 22/06/2020 14:30

Pahaha!! Well done Mum!

FrankieDoyle · 22/06/2020 14:34

@Evasmummy2019

My other friend let's call her hannah who us in our friendship group has messaged me saying that she was given a silver Cross pram to use for her son. She's now been asked to return it.
She's batshit OP. You're well rid.
littlemisssugarpuffs · 22/06/2020 15:00

So sorry your going though a rough time, I hope things get better for you, my advice is OP look on Facebook market place for anybody gifting/donating any free baby clothes in the sizes she give you collect a bag or two full then give them back to her and keep your distance from her she sounds like a twat and at least now you have seen her true colours x

IntermittentParps · 22/06/2020 15:01

I like your mums' style Grin

IntermittentParps · 22/06/2020 15:01

mum's, I mean, I didn't think you had two...

NavyBerry · 22/06/2020 15:10

Happened to me once with my best friend. Our babies are 3 months apart. She gave a tiny bag of 5-6 items and we used only some. My daughter is bigger. Half a year later I was asked to give them back. My problem was I completely didn't remember what she gave us as I had loads and loads of other clothes. It was awkward. Never suggested exchanging clothes again. My other friend was utterly shocked when I returned her some of the clothes she had shared based on my unsuccessful experience. She said she'd never ask them back. It is just so weird to be asked to return smth so nondurable as first baby clothes.

angieloumc · 22/06/2020 16:08

Good for your mum! I would have said the same.

rayoflightboy · 22/06/2020 16:20

Your mums fab.

So at least you know it's your ex friend,and not anything you had done.

I do think,people give you baby clothes to get rid of rubbish and dirty ones.Cause they can't be arsed to sort out their own stuff.

nannyplumsmagranny · 22/06/2020 16:32

She's asked for a pram back too?

Block and delete.

heartsonacake · 22/06/2020 16:38

@nannyplumsmagranny

She's asked for a pram back too?

Block and delete.

No, not from OP. From a friend of OP’s.
istheresomethingishouldknow · 22/06/2020 16:50

Your mum is awesome.

Your friend who has also had a gift asked to be returned, the pram, should also tell her to fuck off and blank her.

I'd unblock her, message her to tell her to stop bothering your mother over issues with you, that you're done with her and she an FOAFOSM. Then block her again.