Friend is asking for baby clothes back

[Evasmummy2019]

So back in August last year while I was 5 months pregnant, my childhood friend kindly gave me 2 big bags of her daughters baby clothes. Her baby is 1 year younger than my new arrival. So all season appropriate clothes for my new winter baby. Most of the clothes were good condition aland very pretty, some were stained or bobbly or faded. But I sorted through it and kept what I wanted. My daughter has enjoyed wearing her pretty clothes for which I am extremely grateful for. It saved us an awful lot of money. My friend gave us lots of newborn, 0 to 3 and 3 to 6 months. My daughter is a very chunky girl so was out of the 3 to 6 at around 4 months old. At which time I passed on the clothes that weren't too worn or stained (threw the rest away or cut up for rags) to my sister in law who was also pregnant and expecting a girl. To which she was very grateful for. It being lockdown and all.

But now my friends mum has messaged me asking for all of the baby clothes back. My friend is not pregnant nor can she have any more children. And before she gave me the clothes there was no mention of them being on loan. Or having them back when I was done.
I've messaged my friend to confirm this and she's said yes. She does want them back. And in the next week or so. I find this really upsetting.

I could get some of them back but my neice was only born in early May so is still in them and my brother and his young family have been struggling financially during the virus etc. I don't really want to have to tell them that they need to buy all new clothes for their daughter because I need the clothes back to give to my friend. I also don't want to fall out with my friend over baby clothes.
Amy advice. Am I being unreasonable to be upset that's she's asked me to give them back. Or is she being unreasonable to ask for them back.

[AnnaSW1]

@Ilovechinese

[Ilovechinese]

@AnnaSW1 🖕

[MsTSwift]

Having spent 4 hours yesterday mucking out a child’s room I can’t wait to offload outgrown clothes and books. Wanting things back from a stage your child has gone through is utterly bizarre that’s how you become a hoarder. Your “friend” might end up in one of those hoarder houses buried under own retained baby clothes - here’s hoping anyway.

[Someone1987]

Why did she give them if she wanted them back? Very strange. You are not in the wrong!!

[AnnaSW1]

@Ilovechinese

[Summerxoxo5]

Oh @Evasmummy2019 I’m so so sorry you’ve had to go through all that stress!
What a strange woman!
Well done on blocking her, erase her from your life now she sounds nuts!!
Try to completely forget about her and enjoy your time with your gorgeous girl! ❤️❤️❤️

[Twillow]

When a normal person gives you something, they either want you to keep it or they tell you what the terms are - commonly known as 'lending'!
Your now ex-friend, however, doesn't think this way. She wants a kick out of being lady bountiful as people have said but still believes the items actually belong to her.
She's in the wrong and weird to boot.

[L0bstersLass]

And your mum sounds marvellous!

[L0bstersLass]

@Evasmummy2019

I've blocked her now and the friend. I kept the little bits I wanted to keep so I'm happy. And my neice is keeping her clothes I gave her. X thank you

I'm glad you kept them. Well done you.

[CecilyP]

Yeah, while it may be more usual to loan a pram rather than gift it, it is crazy to want it back before the baby is even born! Poor Hannah has just been used for pram storage! There could be no end to ex-friend’s generosity at this rate! I hope Hannah holds on to it until her baby has no use for it then dumps it back on ex-friend after that!

[MrsOrMiss]

@Evasmummy2019
I've RTFT and want to say your friend is ridiculous, as are a few MN posters tbh. But you are fabulous!
There's no fixing your friend or her family, draw a line underneath it all and don't think about it anymore. In a few years, it'll be a funny story.

[ladymary86]

I just RTFT - OP you've handled yourself brilliantly with this. Your "friend" and her mum are bonkers.
What is her mum usually like?
I hope you are ok OP.
The fact that she's asked for the pram back from your other friend before she even had a chance to use it should be (in my opinion anyway) reassuring for you - don't take it personally. You've done everything you can to get together what you could and she moved the goal posts again but refusing to collect.

[Tinkerbell1980]

Oh gosh it sounds like you already have enough to think about without this so-called-friend! Just look after yourself and your DD, you sound positively lovely! Hold your head high

[PutYourBackIntoit]

I still think you should ask her for the wine and chocolates back! 😁

[TowelHoarder]

I hope Hannah keeps the pram. I just can’t imagine anyone on being offered a pram wouldn’t say “are you sure?” or “do you want anything for it?” and it’s just not the sort of thing you could expect to get back in good condition in 3 years time.

I’d be seriously wondering if this so-called friend is having some sort of breakdown as her behaviour is so far from social norms.

[ememem84]

Wow.

[Jigsawpuzzles]

*knew not keeps

[Jigsawpuzzles]

Wow- who keeps there was a next level to the batshit behaviour

[NinkiNonkiNikau]

It all seems a bit over the top dramatic

[Sparticuscaticus]

@Evasmummy2019

It's an old wayfarer that's a bit bashed up but still good condition. She GAVE it to hannah for her son who's due in August as she had another at home and it was in better condition. She literally has so much stuff. And she likes to look the kind generous person but can be quite nasty.

Well then Hannah has no reason to give her baby's pram to her. Given your experience tell Hannah to reply
'What are you on about? This is my pram'
or 'No Thank-you' '
And then block this ex-friend

[PrayingandHoping]

Hannah hasn't even used it yet???

Has she asked why it's wanted back?

[Doodar]

So sorry you’re having so much stress with this, she’s not your friend and you’ve done the right thing. Concentrate on yourself and your baby. You’ve not done anything wrong xx

[Evasmummy2019]

It's an old wayfarer that's a bit bashed up but still good condition. She GAVE it to hannah for her son who's due in August as she had another at home and it was in better condition. She literally has so much stuff. And she likes to look the kind generous person but can be quite nasty.

[Sparticuscaticus]

OP EvasMummy2019
Is it the same friend that have her the Oran? Was it a gift or a loan?

Frankly if it was a gift and Same friend I'd tell Hannah to keep it and block the friend.

If it was a loan, I'd tell Hannah to take her time to respond and think seriously about saying, oh I'll be sure to return it to you when he's done with it. As it's nuts.

PP was right it's worse to loan and try to take back early when still being used and not been budgeted for - especially now - than to have never lent it in the first place
That's an Anti-Friend not a friend to leave people up sh£t creak and to use them for free storage. No one would accept a loan on that basis and I bet she got a Thankyou gifts too fromHannah!

[TowelHoarder]

But surely if you lend a pram out then you’ve lent it out until it is no longer needed, otherwise the person you’ve lent it to still has to purchase a pram, except now instead of being able to budget for it prior to maternity leave they’ve assumed they don’t need to and spent the money elsewhere, and now they’re on a reduced income - it’s actually worse to give it and take it away again than not to give it at all.