AIBU by not being convinced about moving to Ireland?

[Shedbuilder]

My partner's grandparents were born in Ireland and so she's been able to obtain an Irish passport. I'm English. We're very pro-EU and horrified by Brexit and we hate the current government and direction the UK is taking. We're wondering about putting our money where our mouths are and moving to Ireland. Our parents are all dead, we don't have children, we're on good terms, but not particularly close, to our siblings and their families. We'd plan to come back and visit friends and family in the UK several times a year and we've factored in the cost of doing that.

It would suit my partner well. She's very gregarious, she has the blarney and she also has some family over there already. I wouldn't know anyone. I also worry about what it would be like to be noticeably English in Ireland. I'm not at all posh but I sound a bit Radio 4.

I'm concerned that my partner has some pretty romantic ideas about Ireland. She expects it to be so much better than England. She's just been ranting at the far righters Nazi-saluting at the cenotaph and saying proudly that it wouldn't happen in Ireland. I made the mistake of replying no, it wouldn't happen in Ireland because Ireland stayed neutral during WW2 and then for years persecuted and scapegoated the Irish men and women who volunteered to fight Hitler. That didn't go down well.

The area we would be looking at is probably somewhere within a five-mile radius of Enniscorthy and within relatively easy reach of Wexford and Dublin. Also close to the Rosslare ferry and the coast. The property in that area seems excellent value for money: currently looking at a spacious 4-year-old four-bedroom house on an acre, well away from neighbours, and with a separate double garage and a barn for under £300,000.

We know we'll have to have private medical insurance. We know that we'll have a lot of learning to do and that the chances are I'll be an outsider for the rest of my life. As a lesbian I'm used to that. I'm also aware that Ireland has its own issues around transgender and women's rights, but they seem no worse than they are here.

So tell me, would you move to Ireland if you could?

plus teaches Irish so not politically neutral

Teaching Irish is no indicator of political leanings. I know several Irish teachers who span the political spectrum. Same with teachers in Gael Scoileanna (school where the curriculum is taught through Irish). The only thing they have in common is they love the Irish language. They're not even all Irish - I know one Greek who is fluent in Irish.

Actually I take it all back @Shedbuilder. As this thread has gone on I've realised you were right all along. You'd never fit in here. It's a pity for your wife if she was hoping to settle here but I can't see it working out.

English people are generally fairly welcome in US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand.

However, given our colonial and warlike history (look up the list of countries we did not invade!! it's a very small list) it is fairly understandable we're not always welcome.

I imagine if you learned history in Ireland, English people would not have a great profile.

I live in Cork and have dual citizenship with the UK. I studied at a college in Edinburgh 20 odd years ago. I thought I was moving to a progressive city but I was wrong. The digs and comments were insulting asking me if I as in the IRA. ‘oh you are from Southern Ireland then’ If I said the Republic of Ireland or just Ireland I was asked if I was a Republican.
A classmate kept saying ‘Top of the morning’ to me instead of hello like a normal person. He said well that’s what Irish people say isn’t it. When I said no he was very peeved and asked me if I was a proper Irish woman or where was I from.
I was doing a computer course, I can’t remember how the discussion came up, but someone assumed we still had dowries in Ireland. When I said no we don’t anymore the same person said well you did, I responded with so did everywhere not just Ireland. He said not in Scotland.
I met several students from London, who were studying at the university, as far as they were concerned Ireland were the ones who ‘we let get away’ I pointed out that there was a war for independence but no, England let us leave, the British army could have stopped Ireland from gaining independence.

I lived in Suffolk for year in the early 1990s and was frequently asked about being in the IRA, if we’d electricity and televisions. Also about a difference in time-zones.
The thing is, that whilst living in Scotland, it was me. My Spanish and Canadian friends were welcomed with open arms. I used to hang out with all the EU and non-EU people, I left with not one Scottish friend.
Actually on further reflection it is me as I’d had ‘you are not Irish are you’ comments here too.
So OP, by all means move here but not to a small village as it’s a very insular mindset (typical of villages everywhere). Just learn to give as you get and don’t think it’s like the UK. And avoid west Cork, we speak away too fast.

@OchonAgusOchonO most of the teachers I know here are pretty leftie. But that would be completely down to what school you teach of course. I think she just likes to pretend she's a bit of a freedom fighter 😁. She says that 'We Irish identify with them as victims of oppression' or some such thing. And I just saw a few bits in the papers when I was over there and thought 'hmm'. We all pick our causes I guess.

I forgot to add, I also got the ‘ if you don’t like it here, just leave’ comment many many times. Along with peeved comments as many people believed that Ireland has one over the UK in the Common Travel Area legislation.

Re the English in Ireland.. I am always really quite amazed by how gracious everyone is to us. My uncle took me on the 'here's where the English shot us' tour (quite) a few years ago - this is still so recent. I guess cause we are only there on holiday.

I've seen this claim before, that you cannot say anything negative about Ireland because the Irish are so defensive.

I think the situation is that with regard to the things that aren't great about Britain, a lot of British people (Not all of course) have this like pathological NEED to believe that these things are worse in Ireland.

So these aren't criticisms that we get from Spanish, French, Italian people. Instead, Ireland is faulted by a country that has the most in common with us culturally.

In my opinion. I lived in the UK for 14 years. I came back. I was happy in both places.

Take the weather issue. We're all different but this is the one that makes me roll my eyes! The weather is colder in the winter in the UK I'd say, and hotter in the winter. Is that ''shittier''?? Who says that's shittier!?

Also, again, I've noticed that a lot of English people have a need to believe that it rains more in Ireland. The west of Ireland perhaps but the rest of it, no. I live on the East and it doesn't rain more than it rains in England. I lived in England long enough to know this.

I suppose this makes me ''defensive''!!

Britain is like your friend who sees an invisible hierarchy and places you beneath them. That 'friend' is nice until you assert a boundary or act independently with your own agenda, owing your friend nothing. Then suddenly your friend isn't nice to you anymore cos you got uppity.

Hi op I'd definitely look more towards Gorey as opposed to Enniscorthy. Gorey is a vibrant town loads always going on and is close to Dublin too for work commutes/airport etc . Nobody will blink an eye at you being in a lesbian relationship. Feel free to pm me if you need info on the area or anything else

@WinnieWonder I mentioned the weather because a) I live in London so it's warmer than most of the UK too. And b) my friend always professes great amazement when we are there and I'm telling her there's nothing wrong with the weather. She's says I bring it with me. West coast too.

@WinnieWonder - Britain is like your friend who sees an invisible hierarchy and places you beneath them. That 'friend' is nice until you assert a boundary or act independently with your own agenda, owing your friend nothing. Then suddenly your friend isn't nice to you anymore cos you got uppity.

Brilliantly put.

@Vodkacranberryplease

I don’t think you are being goody, but don’t really know why you have asked me.

I’m no expert on politics in the Middle East, but I have seen support for Palestine in UK too. I wasn’t aware that Ireland had a particular stance on the politics between Israel and Palestine, but the government could well have. I live in the UK now, so a bit out of touch. Being anti Zionist isn’t the same as being anti Semitic though. In saying that some people like to hide behind the former when really they are the latter.

There is a history of Jewish people in Ireland even before the world wars. There is and there has been Anti Semitism too. I can’t really say if it’s to a greater or lesser extent as the UK.

I was actually wrong about the statue, it was a forrest and it was a good bit after the war!
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Éamon_de_Valera_Forest

I’m really sorry for this second derail OP. I’ll stop now!

I'd stay where you are, op
Does your partner really go round telling people she has "the blarney"?

OP it sounds like your partner has a totally romanticised (and quite frankly inaccurate) idea of life in Ireland. If she genuinely tells people she’s got the blarney that’s embarrassing.

You seem to be the opposite extreme. Why is WW2 relevant to anything? It’s so bloody boring having British people bang on about the war all the time. It was a massive part of the Brexit and now the Covid rhetoric.

WW2 barely features in terms of relevant historic events between Britain and Ireland. If you want to explain Irish attitudes to the British you need to go a lot further back than that to get the full picture, or maybe just think about the last few years. The British attitude to Ireland in the context of Brexit was incredibly patronising - there was a sense of fury in the media that Ireland wasn’t backing them even though Brexit will be disastrous for Ireland, and half the time news readers couldn’t even get the name of the country right.

It seems to me like neither of you have any real concept of what life will be like in Ireland, for different reasons, and a move would be a terrible idea, but not for any of the reasons you’ve cited.

@Vodkacranberryplease, your idea that being an Irish teacher indicates some specific kind of ‘non-neutral’ politics (whatever that might mean?) is cracking me up. Do you also imagine maths teachers lean towards Marxism, or Eng Lit teachers towards ultra-conservatism?

@Squince - Do you also imagine maths teachers lean towards Marxism

One of the most right wing people I know is a maths teacher. I'm laughing at the notion of suggesting to him that he should be into marxism

I know quite a few teachers (and have met even more) and they are all very leftie. I've never met one that isn't. If they exist that would be great. I'm guessing you're one by that fact that it 'cracks you up'. And why would I conflate maths with Marxism? That's not logical in any way. Or is that a clever teacher in joke I've missed?

LumaLou, no, please go ahead and derail away. I'm learning a more from the posts going on between you all than from those addressed to me.

You said There is a history of Jewish people in Ireland even before the world wars. There is and there has been Anti Semitism too. I can’t really say if it’s to a greater or lesser extent as the UK and I immediately thought of Ulysses (1918).

@OchonAgusOchonO I must confess I do not know any maths teachers. I don't think they hang out with some of the other ones do that would make sense! And I still remember our 6 ft 5 absolutely body builder huge biology teacher who picked a particularly horrid kid up by the scruff of the neck and put him out. He probably wasnt terribly left wing either. Ha.

@Vodkacranberryplease - I know quite a few teachers (and have met even more) and they are all very leftie

I assume that's not in Ireland? Sure, some of the younger ones can be a bit leftie but in my experience, teachers tend to be on conservative side, both socially and politically.

Yes you are quite right, that's the UK. London to be precise. In fact my friend doesn't seem to have leftie colleagues, they seem to be a mix, but it's a Catholic school so makes sense. Let's just say we have never met them in the pub!

But she does make our UK teachers a bit envious with the (fairly) well behaved kids, (reasonably) respectful parents, and the overall respect for teachers/education compared to here. Plus more holidays.

No, I’m not and have never been a teacher. I’m laughing at the fact that you’re conflating the teaching of a core subject like English or maths with ‘non neutral’ politics, whatever that means.

What womens rights issues do we have here in Ireland?

@Vodkacranberryplease - *but it's a Catholic school so makes sense. Let's just say we have never met them in the pub!•

The majority of schools in Ireland are Catholic so that wouldn't impact on behaviour and attitudes. And if you haven't seen them in the pub, you're obviously just going to different ones

@Shedbuilder
Did you know it’s bloomsday tomorrow? There are online events. I started the book once...but have never finished it!