AIBU by not being convinced about moving to Ireland?

[Shedbuilder]

My partner's grandparents were born in Ireland and so she's been able to obtain an Irish passport. I'm English. We're very pro-EU and horrified by Brexit and we hate the current government and direction the UK is taking. We're wondering about putting our money where our mouths are and moving to Ireland. Our parents are all dead, we don't have children, we're on good terms, but not particularly close, to our siblings and their families. We'd plan to come back and visit friends and family in the UK several times a year and we've factored in the cost of doing that.

It would suit my partner well. She's very gregarious, she has the blarney and she also has some family over there already. I wouldn't know anyone. I also worry about what it would be like to be noticeably English in Ireland. I'm not at all posh but I sound a bit Radio 4.

I'm concerned that my partner has some pretty romantic ideas about Ireland. She expects it to be so much better than England. She's just been ranting at the far righters Nazi-saluting at the cenotaph and saying proudly that it wouldn't happen in Ireland. I made the mistake of replying no, it wouldn't happen in Ireland because Ireland stayed neutral during WW2 and then for years persecuted and scapegoated the Irish men and women who volunteered to fight Hitler. That didn't go down well.

The area we would be looking at is probably somewhere within a five-mile radius of Enniscorthy and within relatively easy reach of Wexford and Dublin. Also close to the Rosslare ferry and the coast. The property in that area seems excellent value for money: currently looking at a spacious 4-year-old four-bedroom house on an acre, well away from neighbours, and with a separate double garage and a barn for under £300,000.

We know we'll have to have private medical insurance. We know that we'll have a lot of learning to do and that the chances are I'll be an outsider for the rest of my life. As a lesbian I'm used to that. I'm also aware that Ireland has its own issues around transgender and women's rights, but they seem no worse than they are here.

So tell me, would you move to Ireland if you could?

I agree with EarringsandLipstick's assessment of the treatment of Irish people who fought with Britain against the Nazis.

My dad and his brother were among them, and a cousin of theirs. During WW2 my dad's uncle was an Irish government minister.

There is a popular myth, manufactured by Churchill and broadcast in his famous speech at war's end, that deValera's neutral Ireland had all but stabbed Britain in the back, and the idea that Irish ex service people were ' persecuted' arises from that offensive lie.

It might be a good idea to research the extent of Irish support of Britain in WW2.

^ this

You should give Wexford a chance. There are many nice towns - Wexford itself, Gorey, Bunclody, New Ross...

My late uncle, who was ex Colonial services, from Wales (born around 1918) loved Ireland. He married my aunt when they were both middle-aged, and settled in with her in a Wexford town in the late 1970s. He quickly made friends in the local pub, found a source for poitin, charmed everyone he met. Hundreds turned up for his funeral.

There was no 'blarney' involved in his conquest of Ireland despite the Troubles raging in NI, Margaret Thatcher becoming PM, hunger strikes and bombing campaigns and inflamed tensions. He was an old fashioned British gentleman armed with a pipe and a twinkle in his eye, and a genuine love and appreciation for the human condition and a decent pint.

With that EU passport you can go to any country you want, OP. Why Ireland?

The grass is super green in Ireland for a reason. It rains ... a lot ... more than here ...

It's a fascinating place and has a wonderful energy, but from how you talk here, I'd say not the place for you. You will offend people and get into awful arguments. There is a lot of hurt in the relatively recent history, and feelings can run high.

I would say go to France, or Spain, or Italy. Ireland will end up being uncomfortable and frustrating for you, I'm pretty sure. Get your DP to fall in love with a different idyll.

It would suit my partner well. She's very gregarious, she has the blarney

For this alone, I'd say please don't.

My experience of Ireland seems very different from some on here!

My DH is Irish (born in Dublin) and all of his family
Are still there - as a result we go back to visit at least 4 times a year (pre Covid!)

The drive from the port through Dublin (we take the scenic route!) is lovely - what a beautiful city with a great vibe to it.
And the drive on to Kildare - the scenery is wonderful, gorgeous buildings, houses seem much more generous than what we have here in the UK.
To be honest, I get a bit misty eyed about the place and feel almost as ‘home’ sick as DH does sometimes. I actually think the Irish are much more switched on than we are here. Of course, I’m only basing this on what I see from DH’s family and friends...

my SIL who lives over there is British. She has lived there for a while now. She hasn’t had any problems fitting in as a British woman. But then, she isn’t a small minded bigot.

There are many English in Ireland btw. I have lots of English friends here. Radio 4 accents a go go. They’re all settled and happy.

But they all have a positive relationship with the country and came because they like it. I expect that makes a big difference.

@clipclop5

I’ve lived in Northern Ireland all my life, and I wouldn’t want to move to the south. As a whole I just find it quite grubby and less modern. I’m not saying NI is perfect whatsoever, because it’s not, and there’s only very specific areas I would ever want to live here. The rest is pretty shit. I think that you have quite a rose tinted glasses view on the country OP. What on earth does having the blarney mean? Ireland isn’t all leprechauns and clovers as most visitors seem to think.

I am in the south and have the opposite view. Anytime I have been to the north I have found it very grim and grey. I hate to see the flags and feel on edge all the time. It saddens me because it seems like a place that's been completely forgotten about and lost in time. To me Ireland is much brighter and more progressive.

I don't know why this thread is continuing. The OP sounds awful.

The level of casual heterosexism bowls me over. So many people will assume you're straight. I had several colleagues who have heard me refer to my partner as 'she' or as my DD's 'mother' who still repeat back to me 'your husband'. I'm so sick of the default interaction with random men in the street being a 'hilarious' chat-up line or joke relating to my imaginary boyfriend/husband/desire for a boyfriend or husband.

Default assumption you're straight is hardly unique to Ireland, though.

I don't know why this thread is continuing. The OP sounds awful.

In my experience of Mn, threads often go on longer when the OP is awful.

No, and I never said it was unique to Ireland?

I am less used to finding that even when I've repeated indicated that I'm not, it's either ignored or people take issue. I've lived in various different parts of the UK and it just doesn't compare. Obviously that's anecdata, but it really, truly shocked and surprised me. It has really put me off Ireland.

Likewise the volume of random men on the street making comments is just like nothing else I've experienced. They don't seem threatening or intending to be unpleasant, it's just as if any woman will obviously be delighted by a comment that she's wanting a man. It sounds like what my mum describes of the UK decades ago.

I'm not saying any of this stuff is unique to Ireland and never happens elsewhere at all. I'm saying the extent of it took me by surprise.

I’ve lived in Northern Ireland all my life, and I wouldn’t want to move to the south. As a whole I just find it quite grubby and less modern.

I've lived in Northern Ireland my whole life, and I think this is hilarious. It might have been the case in the 1950s when Ireland was a poor country but in 2020 there is no comparison. When I cross the border I see vibrant, bustling towns and decent roads.

In my neck of the woods it is once wealthy towns with high streets full of charity shops and vacant units. Unbelievably badly maintained roads, often to the point of being dangerous, and the tribal marking of territory in a blatant attempt to ensure that outsiders know they are not welcome. Northern Ireland is a poor country, in a hellhole not of its own making. We are unloved and unwanted.

Sorry if this has already been answered, I've only skimmed the thread - what does 'have the blarney' mean? I mean, my mum is Irish (proper Irish - you know, born in Dublin to two Irish parents) and I've never heard that turn of phrase, from her, or from anyone of my 13 aunts and uncles on her side, or from my now dearly departed grandparents, or anyone else that I know who is Irish. I'm half Irish, obviously, and I hold an Irish passport, and I've even kissed the Blarney stone, but now I feel like a fraud

I’ve lived in Northern Ireland all my life, and I wouldn’t want to move to the south. As a whole I just find it quite grubby and less modern When did you last visit in the 90's. I've lived in both the ROI and NI whenever my friends visited from ROI it reminded them of Dublin in the 80's. Mind you they understood it had been through a war, it was modernising and a good place for investment until Brexit along with a non functional government.

@Shmithecat2 It is a fun myth. The amount of people who kiss it.
The Blarney Stone (Irish: Cloch na Blarnan) is a block of Carboniferous limestone[1] built into the battlements of Blarney Castle, Blarney, about 8 kilometres (5 miles) from Cork, Ireland. According to legend, kissing the stone endows the kisser with the gift of the gab (great eloquence or skill at flattery). The stone was set into a tower of the castle in 1446. The castle is a popular tourist site in Ireland, attracting visitors from all over the world to kiss the stone and tour the castle and its gardens

what does 'have the blarney' mean?

It's an age-old Stage Irish stereotype that Irish people have the gift of the gab. Goes along with 'feckless, charming, talkative, unreliable' and slides into 'superstitious comic relief'. The OP claiming that her girlfriend 'has the Blarney' so will fit in well in Ireland is a bit like someone claiming her girlfriend is an excellent dancer and likes jerk chicken so is bound to fit in well in Jamaica.

@EmeraldShamrock thanks for that! So I DO have the blarney! I feel proper authentic now 😂😂

@Spanishcove proper loling at that 😂

My brother kissed the Blarney Stone and he never bloody shuts up - I’m not entirely sure we can blame the stone though!

My brother lives in Ireland, not far from Dublin, he's British and my sister in law is Irish, and he puts up with a lot of anti English sentiment. My DH works a lot over there and has experienced the same. It is definitely something you will experience. Only judging from my brothers experience I don't think the Irish quality of live is better than here.

@Spanishcove yep that covers it all rather well!

Only judging from my brothers experience I don't think the Irish quality of live is better than here.

Quality of life is very subjective. For some, it's better in Ireland, for others, it's better elsewhere 🤷‍♀️

@LaurieMarlow

I’ve lived in Northern Ireland all my life, and I wouldn’t want to move to the south. As a whole I just find it quite grubby and less modern

As someone who knows both well, I find that hilarious. NI doesn’t exactly enjoy a great reputation outside of it.

@LaurieMarlow I am well aware of this, how are you finding it funny? I was simply stating my opinion.

@Evanna13 I completely understand your view. It is the same for me even though I’ve lived here my entire life. I detest the politics of this place and wish people would grow up and get over it.
If you ever get the chance, come and visit the South Belfast Malone Rd area, Holywood or Hillsborough. They are some of the nicest, most cosmopolitan areas of NI, where people don’t feel the need to whip out a flag every 5 seconds.