AIBU by not being convinced about moving to Ireland?

[Shedbuilder]

My partner's grandparents were born in Ireland and so she's been able to obtain an Irish passport. I'm English. We're very pro-EU and horrified by Brexit and we hate the current government and direction the UK is taking. We're wondering about putting our money where our mouths are and moving to Ireland. Our parents are all dead, we don't have children, we're on good terms, but not particularly close, to our siblings and their families. We'd plan to come back and visit friends and family in the UK several times a year and we've factored in the cost of doing that.

It would suit my partner well. She's very gregarious, she has the blarney and she also has some family over there already. I wouldn't know anyone. I also worry about what it would be like to be noticeably English in Ireland. I'm not at all posh but I sound a bit Radio 4.

I'm concerned that my partner has some pretty romantic ideas about Ireland. She expects it to be so much better than England. She's just been ranting at the far righters Nazi-saluting at the cenotaph and saying proudly that it wouldn't happen in Ireland. I made the mistake of replying no, it wouldn't happen in Ireland because Ireland stayed neutral during WW2 and then for years persecuted and scapegoated the Irish men and women who volunteered to fight Hitler. That didn't go down well.

The area we would be looking at is probably somewhere within a five-mile radius of Enniscorthy and within relatively easy reach of Wexford and Dublin. Also close to the Rosslare ferry and the coast. The property in that area seems excellent value for money: currently looking at a spacious 4-year-old four-bedroom house on an acre, well away from neighbours, and with a separate double garage and a barn for under £300,000.

We know we'll have to have private medical insurance. We know that we'll have a lot of learning to do and that the chances are I'll be an outsider for the rest of my life. As a lesbian I'm used to that. I'm also aware that Ireland has its own issues around transgender and women's rights, but they seem no worse than they are here.

So tell me, would you move to Ireland if you could?

I think apart from the English history part, Irish people like to find out where you're from etc., to figure out/make assumptions as to what sort of a client you are. The good the bad and fugly live there. We don't tend to warm to 'uppity' English - those who feel superior to us - or who we deem to feel superior to us. We are in very general terms a curious people, a little bit skeptical of outsiders perhaps, but generally quite welcoming once we have decided you don't have notions about yourself.

I wonder OP whether you might enjoy London rather than relatively rural Ireland? It's not a decision either one of you should make unilaterally - it has to be a joint decision. Definitely give it a trial run before committing to a long term move. If you end up completely miserable, it could take its toll on your marriage.

I would hate for you to have a negative experience of Ireland, as nobody wants to hear of their nation being painted in a bad light. But we're certainly not perfect. We have a weird relationship with England. While we have no problem emigrating their, we sort of see England as a bit of a nuisance neighbour with whom we compete daily to have the nicer garden, or the better car etc. That's in economic terms obviously - in reality we love to hear of England making a holy show of themselves.

It's very nuanced, and it will depend really I guess on how much you embrace Irish culture. I think you've received fairly balanced views. Let us know how your decision making goes.

emigrating there - God I hate grammar mistakes.

I think the anti-English thing depends on where you go. I didn’t notice it in Dublin or Galway, but I did in Cork.

That'll be the Cork chip.

For e.g. while I'm Irish, I love London and don't see a return home on the cards for a long time - perhaps in retirement. I love the vibrancy, accessibility of everything, the weather and the public transport and the job opportunities that London offers. I couldn't afford to move to Dublin without a guaranteed high paying job.

My sister (now a school principal) has only now in the last 2 years, moved into her own rented 2 bed apartment in Dublin (She's 35) with her boyfriend of about 4 years. Prior to that she lived in a house share with other teachers and has done since she graduated. I'm not sure whether it was affordability or the fact that her previous long-term boyfriend worked in Limerick while she worked in Dublin, but she was the ripe old age of 32 before she got her own flat - well flat with her boyfriend.

What are your interests? If you could give it a trial run of 2 weeks and maybe visit estate agents and view properties and different areas, you'll get a better feel. Make sure to socialise in any locality you're considering.

I just get really sick of the attitude from so many Brits. You lot voted for Brexit, don’t want “foreigners” in your countries, and then expect other countries to sell themselves to you when you get sick of Britain

THIS!!

And a car is a must have in Ireland as public transport is shite in small towns - even Dublin doesn't have an underground.

While we have no problem emigrating their, we sort of see England as a bit of a nuisance neighbour with whom we compete daily to have the nicer garden, or the better car etc. That's in economic terms obviously - in reality we love to hear of England making a holy show of themselves.

I don't think that's necessarily true, or not for a lot of people -- I lived in England for many years and these days it's like watching an old friend self-harm (only the self-harm also harms me...) I'm certainly not sniggering at the Brexit/Covid-19 shitshow....

And a car is a must have in Ireland as public transport is shite in small towns - even Dublin doesn't have an underground.

Dublin doesn't need an underground it's too small...

Dublin could do with better public transport though.

Flurry - I'm sort of in the same boat! Living in London, I'm dismayed at the shit show that is Boris, as that affects me, but I'm secretly proud of our rather more Statesman-like Leo. He makes me proud to be Irish, particularly in his handling of Brexit on the world stage and more recently obviously his expert handling of coronavirus. There's no comparison between the two, but only yesterday I read that Michael Martin is likely to be Taoiseach for a year (though most people prefer Leo).

I read that Michael Martin is likely to be Taoiseach for a year (though most people prefer Leo).

It’s his turn.

He reminds me of that character in the Simpsons - Mr Burns is it? With the pointy nose? Just because he got 1% more in the elections lol.
I genuinely believe that Varadkar's demise was his wish to commemorate the Black & Tans. What a stupid decision.

these days it's like watching an old friend self-harm (only the self-harm also harms me...) I'm certainly not sniggering at the Brexit/Covid-19 shitshow
Perfect description.

Never thought I'd say this, but I'd happily have Theresa May back.

I genuinely believe that Varadkar's demise was his wish to commemorate the Black & Tans. What a stupid decision.

Actually I think his failure to understand the impact on the squeezed middle and the truly dumb arse comments about asking your parents for a house deposit damaged him long before that.

Good luck asking my parents for a house deposit lol.

I asked my father to go as guarantor on a loan for me to get a university degree. The bank manager advised him not to, as apparently I hadn't shown initiative. Ulster Bank. I'll never forgive the bitch. Still remember her name. Haven't forgiven my miserly father either.

I wonder OP whether you might enjoy London rather than relatively rural Ireland?

We want to get out of Little England/ Brexitworld, so that would have to be a no.

I genuinely believe that Varadkar's demise was his wish to commemorate the Black & Tans. What a stupid decision
Actually I think his failure to understand the impact on the squeezed middle and the truly dumb arse comments about asking your parents for a house deposit damaged him long before that
Yes neither went well.
If anything good from the coronavirus seems Leo redeemed himself meaning S.F popularity decreased. People were so fecked off with the government's focus on Brexit while the housing crisis grew.
I live in a w.c area in Dublin centre although there is faith in S.F around here it would be a disaster if they had power.

I think that if an election was called this year, it would have a very different outcome to the last one.

I just get really sick of the attitude from so many Brits. You lot voted for Brexit, don’t want “foreigners” in your countries, and then expect other countries to sell themselves to you when you get sick of Britain

I'm one of the 60% of Britons who didn't vote for Brexit and who cringe whenever I hear anyone talking about 'making Britain great again.' We've marched, we've campaigned, we did everything in our power to try to prevent it. We now have Johnson and Co in power for another 4.5 years, with a massive majority they can use to cause terrible damage. It feels as if the only remaining way of objecting to what's happened is to leave the country and put ourselves where are hearts are, in Europe.

Yes a very different outcome. I'm glad S.F didn't handle the Covid19 crisis or we would be in a similar position to the UK.
Personally I think Leo Varadakar handled Brexit very well.

You might find it hard to establish friendships as people tend to stick with old school friends rather than let you into their friendship group. It's still rather traditional but that's not all bad expect it. Though things are changing and you are in am established happy relationship so you wont be starting from scratch. My experiences example (i dont live in Ireland anymore) my in laws do not sit together as mass. Religion is still a big deal but slowly losing power. Jobs tend to be who you know. Racism is an issue. I had a gay friend and I don't think sexuality is an issue. Also people are quite materialistic and tend to only put on a front/ you never see the real them.

These are opinions of my own and I am prepared to be told otherwise

Supermarket shopping is expensive. But there are many many good and decent people. It's a beautiful country with loads to do and young people are growing and changing the dynamics and that's a good thing.

You don't sound as if you respect Ireland or the Irish.

@Shedbuilder

I wonder OP whether you might enjoy London rather than relatively rural Ireland?

We want to get out of Little England/ Brexitworld, so that would have to be a no.

Sorry haven’t read the last few pages, but OP are you actually calling London “little England/Brexitworld”??? London had the highest concentration of Remain voters in the UK and is the most ethnically, socially and culturally diverse place in the UK. Have you ever even been to London?!