Am I the only person who doesn't know any trans people?

[LaureBerthaud]

Non goady question.

I don't know any, work with any or come across any trans people. Now it could be that they've done such a good job of transitioning that I don't notice, but where are they?

@GreytExpectations you mentioned my post. The reason i called this person a "bearded bloke" is because he is in every way male - appearance and actions. I have no problem with males wearing flowers in their hair or pink, but I do not believe clothes have any magical properties to make someone the opposite sex, or anything in between

@GreytExpectations
Idk the posts you are referring to. However, I do think trans people need psychiatric or psychological support beyond what they are receiving if any at all. Sadly there is little to none and what is available sounds like a tick box and affirmation of what they say their reality is without digging deeper into whether they have mental health problems or additional needs. The current trans trend is funded by rich white men and big pharma. That to me is very concerning.

The tall, stocky, male-bodied person with sparkles and a head band and identifying as female whilst enjoying all the privileges of being male is not vulnerable. They do not need to use the female facilities. I am a disabled woman. I am vulnerable. My tween daughter being a child and a girl is vulnerable. I do know the difference.

I was talking about this last night. If you don’t count random people who you think might be trans - eg. Someone at a checkout at a shop - but people I’ve actually met, I have literally met ONE person in my whole life, who was the best friend of my friend from university who transitioned to a male in their late teens. Considering the tens of thousands of people I’ve met in my life, I just can’t believe there are that many trans people out there. Weren’t they going to include this in the census? I’d be fascinated to see what proportion of the population it actually is, particularly the population aged over 25.

@anotherlovelybitofsquirrel please don't dismiss my child's emotions and wellbeing with a shit emoji.

If you have something to say, at least have the guts to say it.

Oh, I do know a young teen girl who is now saying she is a boy. Former neighbours. She's been 'unschooled' her entire life, doesn't really have any real-life friends, and lives with her shut-in mum and equally messed up older brother. Dad works away as much as he can.

Her mother's mostly online friends all fawn over her trans posts. It's the most attention she's every received. It's like playing a character - she gets to pick a new name, new clothes, new personality. Fun! I just hope she doesn't have anything irreversible done before she's able to live in the real world for a while.

@Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel
Do you realise your just ridiculed a girl, who identifies as a boy? I don’t think the current line for trans kids is helpful. However, neither is denying their reality.

I have a cousin who is trans. Lived her whole life as a man in a very traditional religious family. Has always dressed and cut hair like a male and identified as a man. But for some strange reason is not going to make a medical change. My friends old boss was a trans woman very aggressive and clearly unhappy. I'm sure I may have met others in the past but not known. In big cities you meet more- safety in numbers I suppose- but obviously I don't know them.

Maybe you do, I worked in the next office to someone for 10 years ( who I said hello to everyday) who I had always thought was a butch lesbian until I was told they were a transman!

@ambereeree

I have a cousin who is trans. Lived her whole life as a man in a very traditional religious family. Has always dressed and cut hair like a male and identified as a man. But for some strange reason is not going to make a medical change. My friends old boss was a trans woman very aggressive and clearly unhappy. I'm sure I may have met others in the past but not known. In big cities you meet more- safety in numbers I suppose- but obviously I don't know them.

If you cannot understand why a fTm trans person would not alter their body, maybe google the consequences of FTm reassignment operations. They’re disfiguring. It also could be they were forced into identifying as male, which in some religious communities is far preferable to having a gay child.

Has always dressed and cut hair like a male and identified as a man. But for some strange reason is not going to make a medical change.

This is a good example of what I’m talking about. If somebody doesn’t want to go through an invasive medical procedure because it doesn’t feel necessary to them, they shouldn’t be judged as strange or inauthentic. Surgery is a personal decision, and it doesn’t help anyone - trans people or people who are confused about / experimenting with their identities to feel that the only way to be validly trans is to have surgery.

Dd had a friend who killed themselves because of bullying

I remember a time when I thought I had never met a gay person. But then I am old, old.

Also old enough to remember when we were told that accepting gay people would mean a threat to my own life as a heterosexual, destroy the meaning of my straight marriage and risk the safety of our children as they all got lured into homosexuality. These were genuine fears at the time: nice upright caring people spoke of them as the most natural thing in the world.

Since those things didn't happen, I am willing to take my chance with trans people.

@banginchoons I can see why he is upset by that particular comment.

@BanginChoons what you said about your child is entirely reasonable.

please don't dismiss my child's emotions and wellbeing with a shit emoji.

However, the point a lot of so-called TERFs are trying to make (including JKR) is that their emotions and wellbeing are dismissed by the Trans brigade on a daily basis - and not just dismissed casually either, but they actually receive significant abuse for it.

Why are one person’s emotions and wellbeing more valuable than others?

You are plainly not the only person. So the question is a bit odd.

If you mean “is it unusual not to know any trans people”? My answer would be a bit unusual, but not exceptionally so and I suppose It depends a bit on what you mean by “know”.

There are an estimated 250,000 - 500,000 trans people living in the UK. It is obviously just an estimate. A very rough one. That is significantly more than the number of French born or Australian born people living here (just to give an example). It is fewer than the number of Polish born people in the U.K.

Given these (admittedly very, very approximate comparative figures) it is a bit surprising if you have never met a trans person. In the same way that it would be surprising if you had never encountered an Australian born person. But not really that unusual that no trans people are in your direct circle of acquaintance.

The question itself is odd though. Almost as though you doubt they exist!

I don't know any either OP and I've lived/worked in two major world cities and know a broad range of people, including quite a few who are gay/bi, but I've never knowingly met someone who is trans.

I know one young transman, was born a female. In her early 20s.

I have never met a trans person.

I dont know any as well personally.

I don’t know anyone either but I don’t have a wide social circle.
Sometimes I see females and do feel that they are born males. I don’t look searching for them deliberately but you can’t help with doing this “scanning and checking” of people around you automatically.

I know one, in his 30s, came out (if that's the correct term for trans people, apologies if not) around 5 years ago. I've known him for 12 years and he's like a different person now, in a hugely positive way. Far happier, more comfortable in himself, more open, and everything in his life reflects that it was absolutely right for him. It took a while to get used to using a new name etc but these days he's just 'James' and 'he' without having to think about it (James is not actually his name!)

but she is now an adult and is presenting female again.

Like most bandwagons that the young leap on. she's grown out of it.

Why are one person’s emotions and wellbeing more valuable than others?

I don't think anyone's feelings or emotions are more valid than anyone else's. However I have put myself in a vulnerable position here because I know a lot of people here have negative opinions towards trans people. However I am willing to discuss my perspective like a grown up in order to perhaps increase people's understanding of the reality of being the parent of a trans teen.

The poster could do me the same courtesy and respond if they have something to say, as opposed to posting a mocking emoji.

Loads of transpeople where I work, of both varieties. There are some people who I think may be gender neutral, and one male who sometimes cross-dresses but identifies as male. Every now and again we get an email saying that this person or that person is now the opposite gender and what name and pronoun they must be referred to from now on.

It's a fucking minefield as misgendering can be a disciplinary matter.

A former colleague, female, who is 5'10" or thereabouts and quite heavily built, was shocked when someone asked her which pronoun she preferred. She was bloody livid, too, and stormed up to HR and was told that it wasn't a disciplinary matter as she hadn't been gendered at all, merely asked!

@GreytExpectations taking offence to something is different to an ‘undertone of hate’ though.

I know some, yes.

I was in an email group for a while and there was a man and a woman with the same surname. I assumed they were a married couple until I bumped into now her in the pub.