MIL expects to come on family holiday

[DisneyBaby]

My husband and I have been together 10 years, I am 30 and he is 28, we have just had our first baby together this year.

I have a big family and have always been very close with them throughout my life, and when I got together with my husband 10 years ago, my parents welcomed him in to the family like one of their own and we have had numerous holidays and good times altogether ever since.
My sister and brothers partners are the same and have been welcomed into the family, and we all get in very well and have a great time whatever we do.

My MIL, was a single mum and has always been a little jealous of the amount of time we spend with my family compared the amount of time we spend with her. We have fallen out with her numerous time over this, as well as over other things eg most recently when she made comments about how we are doing things with our baby daughter (which she says is caring, but we find negative and judgemental).

My family have gone to Florida every 4 years since I was young and have continued to do this even as we’ve grown up, we’re all big kids and love all the rides and shows, and now that we have started having children, we still intend to keep up the tradition of going frequently.

My MIL feels that we should invite her on long to Florida with my family as she is single and wouldn’t have anyone else to go with.

This puts me and my husband in a difficult situation because my family enjoy going to Florida as our family and wouldn’t want an additional person coming along on our family holiday.
My family do know her as she has been there for the odd Xmas etc, but they also know about all the rows we have had with her in the past and find her a little annoying, so aren’t particularly keen on her.

I appreciate that she is single and doesn’t have as many people to go on holiday with, but why should my family have to have her tag along with them?

We have suggested doing a separate holiday to somewhere else but she is adamant that Florida is where she wants to go to and she thinks we are being inconsiderate that she’s not invited to come along with us on my family’s holiday. I think she’s being unreasonable, and find it strange that she wants to come away with a family that isn’t hers.

Am I being unreasonable or is she being unreasonable?

@mbosnz 😂😂

If the DiL is that bad why on earth would MiL want to go on her holiday with her and her family. Makes no sense.

And apparently granny (MiL) is now going to stop buying her grandchild any gifts.

Something feels a tad bit off here 🤷🏻‍♀️

Said it earlier so I'll say it again. The core aspect of the OP is "does the MIL have the right and expectation to inject herself into the OPs parents holiday"?
Answer - no
This is regardless of the relationship between Op and MIL

@DILsMIL
So if you really are the mil in question and your DIL is as evil as your post implies, why on earth would you want to go on holiday with her and her extended family. This makes no sense.

i can see the MIL point

a holiday to disney is a kids highliht so the 3 yo sees it as "one set of grand parents take me to disney and MIL takes me to croatia" which is pretty unexciting. so it is unequal.

Going with MIL at another time to Disney seems sensible, maybe the LA or Paris one for a slightly different holiday?

Any blame for your son in all of this MIL? Or is it all DILs fault as per every mils story in history.

@DILsMIL I was on your side but you've spoken with far more vitriol and hatred of your DIL than she did of you. Sounds like you both have some issues.

I would love this if it's actually MIL!

Well, this thread has jumped the shark.

Well that's Christmas fucked

As a page one and then maybe 12 and 13 contributor it has indeed ‘moved on’ !

I've brought the wine, anybody got the popcorn?

@BurnoutBabe...If MIL wants things to be equal between her and OP's mom then she can plan and pay for a 2 week visit to Disneyworld...What is so hard about this

stop excluding someone from something they have every right to want to be a part of

Nobody has ANY right to be on someone else’s holiday. And if this was anything other than a MIL/DIL situation you’d all be siding with OP.

@sauvignonblancplz you are way, way too invested in this if you’re calling someone you don’t know a cow.

@DILsMIL I don’t believe for a second that you’re the MIL, if you are - why have you decided it’s appropriate to shove in on someone else’s family holiday? And why wasn’t Croatia or Dubai good enough for you?

@DILsMIL and if it is you, you’ve been vitriolic about her so why would you want to go away with her?

And why is this her fault and not your son’s?

Nah that can’t be real 😂😂😂

@DILsMIL

Really?

Why in gods name do you want to go away with her family?

This thread is hilarious. Lots of jealous, bitter woman projecting & calling OP every name under the sun. Telling her to step away from her family, stop spending so much time with them. For real? MIL sounds like an entitled, PITA, CF. Demanding she comes with you. I think you've probably been quite polite about her compared to what she's really like. She will ruin your lovely family holiday. Don't even think about swaying on this one!

New here and I don't know how to tag someone but the person @DILsMIL who has just posted claiming to be my MIL is absolutely NOT my MIL.

The way the text is worded is not how my MIL texts, and also the things mentioned in her post are not applicable to us i.e seeing her once every 5 months and her paying for expensive days out etc.

Definitely someone just pretending to be her to create drama.

@OhCaptain Already held my hands up & agree that that wasn’t a nice thing to say. So I’ll take that, you’re right.

well that was spooky.

Wow you sound lovely! That poor woman! It is her son and grandchild. She is your family. I really dont understand your post. Unless she was a really awful trouble maker I think its mean to keep her at arms length all the time. It's only fair to give just as much attention as you do your family. She could be really depressed and want to be part of a big family. The fact she raised her son single handed and now he snubs her is horrible. We holiday with my DH family once a year. Theres alot of us. If my mum was on her own and lonely I would ask her to join us too. Shes family for goodness sake!

sigh🙄

@WingingItSince1973

The fact she raised her son single handed - wrong. She didn't. RTFT.

But don't let the facts get in the way of a good rant, eh?

@sleepingpup quite. Over 900 posts and someone arrives clearly not having bothered to read any updates.

^^

Though I admit this part from the first post My MIL, was a single mum really doesn't help.