To not pay SIL?

[basketcase1]

Basically...SIL is my childminder, she is a Sahm since her 2 dc were born. When I had my ds I was going to put him in nursery and she offered to have him daily and I would pay her a fee. This fee was only payable when he went (so if he was sick- no payment, and during holidays - no payment) I am a teacher so it worked really well for us! I paid her cash ( so it was extra cash for her and it was much cheaper for me!)

When all of this Covid 19 kicked off, schools were shut and now I am home. I am managing with DS at home as he is 18months and still naps. Obviously, now that I am home I don't need childcare so I wasn't paying SIL (as per agreement). All fine, but now dh is saying (even though his pay has been reduced) that we need to pay SIL something as this has been going on too long! They are not hard up as such, her dh is in banking and is still working.
SIL has never mentioned anything to me...so imo all is fine and the agreement we had still stands- no attendance = no pay!
DH is becoming adamant and is bringing it up daily at this rate.
So...AIBU to not pay her!??

All for one cards are as close as cash as you can get for gift cards as you can use them in food shops too. We got one at Christmas and used it to buy some treaty m&s food for NYE.

basketcase1
Glad you took up my suggestion of a, ahem , One4 All Gift card

@LadyEloise thank you!! She loved it and the bracelet, we sat in the garden today for hours and let the dc play! It was bliss... there's no bad vibes and all is ok. She is a wonderful SIL I would be lost without her.

No surprise there OP, it always read like you were two women who had it sorted👏👍

All the "it's illegal!" posts are hilarious. The OP living in Ireland aside.
My mother looks after my children after School. Should we be thrown in jail because I pay her gas and electric bill's as a thank you? She would do it anyway but I want her to know it is appreciated by us all and eases things for her as a pensioner.
Up and down the country you will find arrangements between family members and friends which are often the only way it pays for people to work. Would those who find it disgraceful prefer them to be on benefits?
Seriously get a grip!

@Riojasmoothy.
To be fair the op didn't say she was in Ireland to start with.
In England you can legally care for families children for reward ...you still have to declare the earnings.
Friends can not earn from it but you can have a resipricol arrangement.
The rules are also there to safeguard children and the carer....if your child has a serious accident in your friends care while they are working you may have to sue them or live with a seriously disabled child and no financial support to help them as the friend will be uninsured. If they choke or fit does the friend know how to help them will the fear of prosecution get in the way. Most abuse happens with family and friends do you know that the friend has never had a drugs issue that the husband hasn't got a record. There are legitimate reasons for the law. Add to that the ability to claim financial help for using registered care so many pay their friend as much if not more than legal care would cost but unlike most friends legal care includes early education, special needs support and much more.