Support bubbles aibu to be furious.....

[TriciaH]

So basically an adult living alone or single parent can go into another's house. Great for them if they have been alone for 10 weeks. However two working parents both due back into work, one is a lorry driver but schools now have no space for the children as year groups gone back to school mean no room cannot ask for help with kids. One parent is likely going to have to give up work as we have 3 months before the remote chance the children go back to school which still is only likely to be part time. What the heck are we working parents supposed to do.

Am I unreasonable to think the government need to come up with a plan to help keep us mums in our jobs because let's face it we are going to be the ones at home with the kids giving up our career? This is going to put us on a back foot with employers for years.

Angry is good, insofar as you keep the fire in your belly.

Good luck for next week

Well let's face it Bo Jo and co thought it was fine for Cummings to travel hundreds of miles so that his sister and her children could provide childcare if he needed it. Cummings says that childcare is a reason for breaking lockdown regulations. Therefore I suggest that you bubble up with the members of your family you need for childcare reasons. WHat's acceptable for Cummings ought to be acceptable for the rest of us too.

I gave France corn up bothering to keep up with all this. I object to being chickrd crumbs a

Bess the gov. UK link is interesting, I really read this differently from everyone else:

Form a ‘support bubble’ with one other household if you live alone or are a single parent with dependent children - in other words, you are in a household where there is only one adult.

Surely if you are a two parent house you cannot form a bubble

Stealth obviously only going on what I'm reading, the gov link is a bit vague.

This guardian link very specifically says of any size www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/jun/11/support-bubbles-what-is-new-policy-in-england-and-how-does-it-work

This BBC link almost seems contradictory www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52998806 since apparently a couple must both live alone but then further down if someone has a flat mate that's ok? And further down says one part of the bubble has to be a single household.

This BBC article is very clear that one household can be any size www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-51506729

Fortunately I have just come across this link which specifies any size

www.gov.uk/guidance/meeting-people-from-outside-your-household#making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household

It's almost as if they are making it up as they go along.

I’m a widowed parent. I didn’t choose to be alone with my bereaved and traumatised children. Lockdown during a time when you’re feeling absolutely awful, being a mum, doing the housework, working full time, educating, shopping etc is incredibly hard.

Choosing between educating your child and working so that you don’t lose your job and your home is an awful decision to have to make.

Whilst I sympathise with your own situation, I think you’re actually being very shortsighted. Sometimes you have to look beyond the end of your nose and really, really think about what others are dealing with. Compared to a lot of people you’re in a very privileged position.

You’re more than welcome to be angry or envious with me being permitted to gain much needed support from a family member, to counteract the absolute heartbreak and loneliness.

Just makes you a self centred not nice person though in my view.

That sounds so hard @lola. I hope the relaxation of the rules lets you start to get the contact you and your children need. I spent several years as a single parent of young children and found it a very lonely experience. I've been lucky in that lockdown for me has at least happened at a better time in my life. Sympathies

@Firefliess you’re a very kind person. Thank you.

This lockdown has left all of us negatively impacted in some way. It’s the people and families who have lost their loved ones to this shitty virus who I feel for the most.

Lone parenting is tough, whatever the reason. I’m sorry for the years of loneliness. It is truly crap!

May I just clarify that once my partner goes back to work in a couple days time that I am in effect a single parent 5 days a week. He is a lorry driver working nights. So although he comes home around 5am he is back out about 2pm. That time is spent sleeping. I then have to educate the children, keep them quiet so he can sleep and not plough an Arctic lorry into anyone that night, handle our sons meltdowns, shop cook and everything else we mums do. I then need to try to fit in work and finding a way to keep my job so that we do not loose our house if I end up out of work. I am fully aware there are worse situations than this. A friend of mine is going through the worst it could be. I just think families need support too. After 8 years battling the system I was already bordering on my breaking point that was with kids being at school providing a break. I am worried that without some kind of support when he is back at work and I'm doing it all 5 days a week with constant autistic meltdowns and my son shutting down all communication I will crack. The whole situation sucks for everyone. It's so frustrating seeing all these rule breakers delaying things getting back to some kind of normality.

May I just clarify that once my partner goes back to work in a couple days time that I am in effect a single parent 5 days a week

Oooof. I'm not a parent, but even I know that is a really tone deaf thing to say.

Yes you are having a tough time OP but your overly prickly attitude and comments like that/earlier ones are really not endearing folk to you.

Definitely 100 per cent not a single parent 5 days a week

Proving that you have no idea right there

May I just clarify that once my partner goes back to work in a couple days time that I am in effect a single parent 5 days a week.

No you aren't. My husband is away with work 5 days a week, every week. I am still not a single parent, what you have said is actually offensive.

May I just clarify that once my partner goes back to work in a couple days time that I am in effect a single parent 5 days a week.

Nope. You have a partner that works. You are not a single parent.

It’s not just two working parents. The same for single working parents due back at work? We are in an even worse situation because we can’t share parental leave.

My ds won’t be back in school until Sept so I can kiss my job goodbye.

May I just clarify that once my partner goes back to work in a couple days time that I am in effect a single parent 5 days a week.

Extremely offensive to single parents. You haven't got a bloody clue have you!

Both of you are due back to work soon, what have you both been doing the last 3 months? Whilst actual single parents have been struggling with no support from any other adult? You're partner isn't even back at work yet but you're begrudging something that has been put in place for single parents who've been doing far more than what you are going to have to do soon for 3 months already. Get a grip!

You have every right to be fecked off with the situation like everyone is but you lost your argument when you started comparing yourself with single parents and complaining about the support they are now able to receive which you have already had for months. PP is right, you need to look past the end of your nose.

This is the second post on here with a parent with a special needs child at the end of her tether. I don’t think some posters actually realise how hard it is for those parents especially as it sounds like the OP is coping most of the time solo due to her DP’s work hours. It is not like a usual 2 parent family juggling.

I’ve found this hard enough with DP, both of us flexi-working and two children. I can not imagine coping with this solo or if one of them had special needs and no respite and I take my hat off to anyone who is doing that. This OP has been let down by her school as her DS should have been allowed in throughout if they had got their act together and is now facing losing her job. It is often much harder to work as a parent of a special needs child due to lack of childcare options. The government don’t do nearly enough for those caring and with children with needs who need help. Look at the SEND board and some of the posts on here and you’ll see the constant battle that they go through all the time.
The government really should have made it clear that those families could bubble as well so those parents can access some much needed respite.

OP - if your parents are happy to do childcare then do it. I’m fairly sure there is a loophole for vulnerable people. I would follow Scummings example and use it.

Tbh I have given up. People have been interpreting the rules to fit them in the area I am. It's annoying and pissed me off because I followed the rules. Then my 85 year old neighbor knocked on the door the other day and wouldn't stand back. Ignored when I suggested it but she needed help with some batteries. She is old and alone. What do you do!? So I helped. Then felt guilty all night. But she wasn't interested and didn't care and kept telling me social distancing is silly. If your parents can and want to help and are not at risk, then let them help. Do your own risk assessment

This might be a controversial opinion, but if my options were between breaking lockdown rules so someone I trust could watch my child or I lose my job, I know what I would do.....the government can stick their unequal rules where the sun doesn't shine.

I’ve been seeing my parents and MiL. I’m not going to wait for the government to tell me it’s okay to hug them.

OP I think you definitely are trying to deal with a shit situation and you have my sympathy as does everyone doing so. I don't know how people are supposed to carry on like this.

Unfortunately you keep saying things that are antagonising posters and overshadowing your legitimate points so you may not get the support you need from this thread.

So what solutions do you want? Can your son be included as a vulnerable child - I know any with EHCP were supposed to be included - would this count

Schools can't magically increase their size to allow more students in.

We are all in difficult situations, I am a key worker but my kids haven't been in school firstly to reduce numbers for the schools, but also we have both been home so no real need.

They are in years returning but only from 930-1230 for one and 920 -230 for the other 2 days a week, 1 for all 5 weeks 1 for 3 out of 5 to get as many in as possible

Both me and husband have worked from home throughout - is this a possibility for you? To make it work I have been working at the weekend and most nights till 11 to do my job so I am free during the day to look after/teach the children. Can you switch your work hours? Can Husband?

Just take matters into your own hands OP. No one will know about it. As long as I'm not harming others I don't need a law to tell me before I act.

Do what you need to survive. If you’ve one place for them to go to on a regular basis that is safe for them and the carer then send them. If they’re the only people the kids are seeing and the carer is seeing and the carer isn’t high risk then just do it.

We all have pandemic issues. Sorry the school are unable to babysit.

Sorry we cant babysit your kids