Support bubbles aibu to be furious.....

[TriciaH]

So basically an adult living alone or single parent can go into another's house. Great for them if they have been alone for 10 weeks. However two working parents both due back into work, one is a lorry driver but schools now have no space for the children as year groups gone back to school mean no room cannot ask for help with kids. One parent is likely going to have to give up work as we have 3 months before the remote chance the children go back to school which still is only likely to be part time. What the heck are we working parents supposed to do.

Am I unreasonable to think the government need to come up with a plan to help keep us mums in our jobs because let's face it we are going to be the ones at home with the kids giving up our career? This is going to put us on a back foot with employers for years.

Op.. Are your parents in any of the 'at risk' groups? If not then use them for childcare, in essence it would be no different to my dd moving between my home and her dad's in terms of risk.

Her dad and I are both key workers, dd is asthmatic and on a form of low dose chemo (nothing cancer related) her school will not allow us to access key worker places at school. I literally have no options available other than her being cared for by my parents whilst I am at work.

You need to do what is best for your family as long as there is minimal risks.

I think sometimes common sense needs to take over here before jobs are lost.

I am a single parent so choosing a family member as bubble but DC seems father who has stepson who I presume is seeing parents and unsure if they live with step siblings which could go on for ten families plus! Plus all the key workers involved, myself and one bubble member is to. I dont think it's fair tbh.

There are thousands of people possibly in your situation. Say the Government says ok go ahead and meet with one family that may help you, but won’t help others. Say someone has two children, both in your situation, and they can bubble with one more family, and want their parents to look after the kids as you do, who do the parents choose as one will remain in your situation. Then there is the issue that if thousands do as you want to the virus can start to increase again

So moan away, but it’s not going to change. All changes in the guidelines when announced don't work for some. We are in the middle of a pandemic, people need to follow the rules to make sure it doesn’t get worse

Can you take holiday? Can your husband take holiday? That might get you a few weeks further down the line when guidelines might change again

Could you speak to the school and request additional support? Schools are in a horrendous situation at the moment but it may be worth an ask.
If one of you works days and the other works nights, it's not really feasible for the night worker to do the childcare. My 3 are in 3 different schools and all three have very different strategies to follow but they are all very willing to help as best they can
Might be worth an ask

@Crystaltree

In the end no one is actually checking up on all of us. Just use your common sense.

So true -

Ignore the rules. Do your own risk assessment and do what is right for you. No one is going to police any of this - they couldn't even if they wanted to.

I go to my daughters - no one can check that my son also comes to mine to use a spare bedroom as an office and has done since lockdown began.

This isn't China, we are ruled by consent in the UK

Paid nannys are allowed, they have been throughout. Why dont you pay one of your parents to be your nanny? That's what I did with my mum so we could function during lockdown. And she's cheap

@TriciaH

Because if they can why can't people with two working parents mix with one house hold enabling them to keep their jobs and not risk being unemployed.

Because they're addressing the mental health issue, not childcare issues.

In your situation that's a lot of opportunities for transfer chains to form, which is exactly what we need to avoid.

@TriciaH

If you absolutely want to follow the rules, might it be an option for you all to move in together, even if this means sharing rooms? In the hope that it would just be for a short while until Boris deigns to increase this bubble to two households which may both include more than one person!

If this doesn't work, would you and your parents feel able to have a childcare agreement anyway? Police can't barge into your house to check who is in there. It's arguably less risky than having the children mixing at school anyway: do your own risk assessment.

I am a single parent and had lost work/income so this bubble announcement is welcome for me on a personal level.
It sounds so hard for you and I hope you can work something out.

PS just to add though, are your parents in good health and definitely happy to do this? As a lorry driver, your husband will be moving across areas a lot, I assume, and with you being out at work this increases the risk further again. It would be so rubbish to lose your job, but it could be that the alternative risks are not worth it so it's just something to weigh up.

I'm no Boris or Tory fan, but they seem to be doing it gradually (easing out of lockdown that is)
No-one can please all the people all the time.
This is allowing people who are living alone to be able to mix for the first time since lockdown began.
So a grandparent living alone can mix with another household where the grand kids are for example which is how it is in our case from next week, can go back to being normal with Grandma (not so much my Mum and Dad as they live together but understand it's a gradual thing )

I cannot keep up with all the rule changes....I thought last week they made it law you cannot be in someone’s house if you don’t live there? Now they are saying a single person can mix with a household bubble?

So MIL can come over for her Gdaughters birthday then?

Totally confused 🤷🏻‍♀️

Do your parents live 260 miles away? If so I understand it is perfectly acceptable to drive to them to access childcare.

Yes and do a bit of sight seeing with impaired vision too.

Yanvvvvvvu

There are two of you to tag team child care / homeschool and work. Two of you to give each other a break, whether it be early mornings, bedtimes or during the day.

Single parents have been the sole carer for their kids for weeks. Adults living all alone have had no one - not a single person they can go within 2 m of.

These people really need it. You don’t. The government needs to keep the numbers of people mixing down, that’s why it’s not extended beyond those who absolutely need it.

To be honest everybody is doing as they please. If it works for you and your parents to have a bubble, just have it, as long as you keep the social distance with EVERYONE that is not in your bubble you will be ok, especially if you, DH, and whoever you want to have the bubble with have no regular close contact with anybody else.

If the best thing for your family is to have your parents watch your children, then do that.

I am a Lp with no one to bubble with .

I can’t begin to tell you how I am starting to feel like I am going crazy without spending time with an adults .

I haven’t spent more than 20 minutes with an adult in months. It is bloody hard . The childcare is an add on that it would be crazy to say you can stay with someone but they can’t care for your child whilst you work.

That doesn’t mean your situation isn’t tough but you are asking everyone to understand yours maybe try to understand it from a Lp point of view.

This move is primarily about mh of adults living alone or Lp.

If secondary schools aren't going back until September, I don't understand why they can't be utilised pro-tem for primary children if the big issue is space. Even if it's on an activity basis. What are all the PE teachers/music teachers/art teachers doing?

There were reports in the week that the pandemic has affected BAME and single parents most financially. A household with 2 earners is on average better off. Add to that the emotional load, educational load, cooking load, lack of free school meals single parents have dealt with alone and I think it is a bit unfair to be judging when the govt has clearly deemed them most at risk of presumably isolation and poverty.

This pandemic brings out the worst in the Daily Fail "single mums are the cause of all ills" lot.

Could having a family member or friend help with childcare be allowed under the exception for helping vulnerable people, re your dc being autistic or at least being assessed for autism? If you have a family member/friend nearby who is not in an at risk group and is prepared to help, could that be a way forward?

The government cannot cover every scenario and or combination of domestic arrangement during the current crisis. They are already spending hundreds of £billions as it is. It’s a difficult situation for many not least the friends and relatives of those mourning the loss of a loved one.

Use your own judgement op and send your children to your parents.. Why wouldn't you?

The single people and single parents bubble thing is separate to this and its crap you have mentioned it.

I’m in a similar position (no work at the moment and have been told we won’t likely return for months so I’m going to have to go unpaid for a bit). Even if the children will be able to go back to school it’s not going to do me any good. I suggest you do what I’m doing. Suck it up, start looking for a doable job on the off chance you get one and in the meantime make a serious attempt at starting a profitable business. Chip up and onwards. No other option really is there?

I don’t think the rules apply if you need childcare. That was certainly Dominic Cummings rationale and the prime minister himself and half the cabinet said it was perfectly acceptable.

Just hire your mum or your dad as a nanny.

I don't think bending the rules a little is going to cause a spike in contagion. It's in everyone's interests for the plague to go away as soon as possible, but the people making these rules seem to be incapable of thinking of every possible situation.

Fortunately I live in Mexico and we generally don't have rules that apply to individuals, we have recommendations. Rules are for businesses.