Support bubbles aibu to be furious.....

[TriciaH]

So basically an adult living alone or single parent can go into another's house. Great for them if they have been alone for 10 weeks. However two working parents both due back into work, one is a lorry driver but schools now have no space for the children as year groups gone back to school mean no room cannot ask for help with kids. One parent is likely going to have to give up work as we have 3 months before the remote chance the children go back to school which still is only likely to be part time. What the heck are we working parents supposed to do.

Am I unreasonable to think the government need to come up with a plan to help keep us mums in our jobs because let's face it we are going to be the ones at home with the kids giving up our career? This is going to put us on a back foot with employers for years.

So you're furious that schools dont have enough spaces.
Which is fair enough.
Not because single parents, some of who have been working throughout, can now get some support which is what your title suggests and would not be fair enough to be angry about.
Use your common sense if you need care to work obviously you find someone to look after the kids.
Its not like we are being watched or anyone will stop you.

Do what's best for you. Everyone else seems to be.
I'm a single parent. Cant make a support bubble with my Dad because hes made one with step sister (also a single parent so fair enough)
Can't make one with my mum because apparently it's not fair on my married brother. Also found out brother and his wife have been sending alternate children to his in laws every week. And my mum has been having 1 or 2 of the ones still at home at weekends because they "need a break". But I'm just fucking fine as always. No wonder I'm on antidepressants ffs.
I'll continue sticking to the rules and taking the mental battering of my family who aren't telling me I should be doing more to help. Fuck them all

The government doesn't want you to keep your job OP. We're in/heading for a massive recession, there won't be enough jobs to go round. They don't want men unemployed, they are more likely to kick off. The government doesn't want to help you keep your job, surprise surprise women get thrown under the bus.

YABU to be furious that single parents are allowed a bubble. Life has been tough since lockdown began and I'm desperately in need of some grown up interaction. See if you can find a childminder who can take your kids if school really can't

1. OP, do what you’ve got to do. 2) don’t post about it on MN.

People in very difficult circumstances have been quietly bending the “rules” all along. I know plenty of single parents who have been effectively doing the support bubble thing for months. There’s no way they could have survived otherwise.

Use your common sense, enlist family to help, keep your job, look after your child.

@TriciaH I would be challenging the school to be honest, as it's been made very clear to schools recently (about the only thing that's been made clear to be honest), that places for all children of keyworkers - even if only one parent is a key worker- are to be prioritized above the general year groups (nursery, R, Y1, Y6). Also, schools are not limited to students needing either an EHCP or a social worker in order for them to be classed as vulnerable. Is your school an academy or LEA?

@Crystaltree

In the end no one is actually checking up on all of us. Just use your common sense.

This is very true. I also think people just need to rely on their own judgement and find what works for them best.

Just do it OP. Do what you have to, to survive

how silly of us to forget OP that this is all about you !!
have you tried being entirely alone for three months ????
no
all you can think of is your entitled selfish we are parents so we have to come first attitude

Yabu to conflate the two issues. Single-adult households are being allowed support bubbles for their mental health, and this is desperately needed. It may be that this means that single parents are now, able to access some help with childcare, but that is a by-product of the arrangement. (But, my God, they deserve it).

The rules as they are still apply to the rest of us. Believe me, my mum helping me out would be amazing, but it's not allowed, so I have to carry on struggling to do my keyworker job and care for two of my children at home. (Not eligible for keyworker place because husband isn't one).

Yanbu to be pissed off with the government, but yabu to feel bitter towards single adult households.

@nannykatherine not at all. If you had read the rest of the posts you would see that.

I think the problem is that people are misunderstanding why single people can form a bubble. My brother told me earlier its not fair that I can form one and he cant as "you're not working so don't even need one and that's what they are for"
I mean that's not what they are for and even if it were then he doesn't need a bubble either because his wife doesnt work . Basically if he can't have it, neither can I.

At no point have I said single adult house holds do not need support. I am trying to point out so do parents of children with special needs. More for my other child who has had to deal with his siblings constant outbursts and threats on a daily basis. But I guess after 8 years of a failing system I shouldn't be surprised.

But like a previous poster said it is shit for you but it's some of the things you've said (that were needless and antagonistic) that have got people's backs up and makes them not want to help you

Sorry @TriciaH my post wasnt aimed at you. I was just ranting in general because I'm feeling very let down by my family tonight.

There are lots of groups who need more than they are getting at the moment and it sucks. It really does. But I don't know what the solution is :(

It makes me sad that everyone is so angry at everyone else . We all have problems that have arisen from this pandemic, it’s not top trumps in whose problem is worse than whose. Everyone’s issues are important to them , it doesn’t mean they are not sympathetic to others.
We’re all different, we all cope differently, what seems a minor problem to one might tip someone else over the edge.

I think members of family can help with vunerable children.If you parents are happy to do it then let them look after your 10 year old,your older child will be ok.

Soon it will all be over...... We hope

Don't worry about the rules millions don't including government employees.

Couple family here. The "it's not fair" argument is usually bullshit. Its what kids do. It's both and.

In other words, argue for yourselves to get a benefit if you think you deserve it, but don't resent a group who have got one , which they obviously need.

Just do it what are the government going to do if you combine two house holds just make sure the one your combining with isn't at risk and are careful like yourself. I have to admit I got confused and went to my parents weeks ago when my father got told to go back to work my child is autistic to and his go to is his nanny so it was a relief to reunite them again as phone calls wasnt the same. Just use your own judgment, everyone In power or is making these rules are saying they was using judgement when they break the rules so you do the same.

@TriciaH I see your point re women in general. It sounded initially like you were only talking about people with partners. I agree about employment and it’s already been proven that the burden of loss of earnings has fallen on females

I think your frustration should be aimed at the government and terrible handling of the pandemic, not the single parents / single households, that's just awful. It is a sign of your privilege that you seem to be unable to understand why bubbles are being created for these people.

I understand your point, of course it is important you work, essential. But your anger is at bubbles is unjustified. Again, you are privileged, you know your parents can and will take your children.

I am a single parent with two son's, WFH, but I am constantly treading water, being pulled in all directions. My mother works FT, I have no one to look after my children. But to have an adult in my house, is great. Imagine not seeing another adult for three months.

OP if you have parents who are happy and willing to look after your DC whilst you go back to work then let them as long as they are reasonably young and are healthy (eg they are in their 50s rather than 70s and have no underlying health conditions). I would make your decision based on a risk assessment of the impact of possible Covid on your parents, not on current government regulations. In fact given that people employed as nannies can work in other people's homes you could always pay them!