Support bubbles aibu to be furious.....

[TriciaH]

So basically an adult living alone or single parent can go into another's house. Great for them if they have been alone for 10 weeks. However two working parents both due back into work, one is a lorry driver but schools now have no space for the children as year groups gone back to school mean no room cannot ask for help with kids. One parent is likely going to have to give up work as we have 3 months before the remote chance the children go back to school which still is only likely to be part time. What the heck are we working parents supposed to do.

Am I unreasonable to think the government need to come up with a plan to help keep us mums in our jobs because let's face it we are going to be the ones at home with the kids giving up our career? This is going to put us on a back foot with employers for years.

Let your parents help if they're willing.

If you need help with care just do it, people aren't snooping and care is within the rules anyway

To be honest lockdown is over in all but name - if 10,000s of people can meet to demonstrate in breach of lockdown and social distancing then you can sure as hell ask for help from grandparents etc

OP I’m sorry you are finding it tough. We all are in different ways. And as others have said bending the rules in a safe way may be the way to go. But as others have said the lifting of lockdown restrictions will not help everyone at the same time. Lots of single parents didn’t have the option when the 1 on 1 meeting when that was allowed weeks ago. Yes now that schools are not reopening fully something for childcare will need to come for this kick start to the economy to work and that is likely the next step. You are not unreasonable to think that the government needs to look at this next step. But you are unreasonable to bring the support bubbles for single adults into this issue.

YANBU. It should be any two households, not one single and one any size. We shouldn’t be prioritising single people. There’s no need.

Just be sensible. We are needing grandparents help to allow me to get back from maternity leave. No way can I do my computer training initially with a 3 and 1 year old to look after. DH works PT so we are OK 2/5 days and we now have some pre school for out 3 yr old so I'm having to use my parents for childcare when needed. They live very close so no travelling is needed. My Dad doesn't work and throughout the lockdown he has been very lonely as my Mum works and is out of the house for 26 hours at a time. He dotes on his grandkids ( as do lots of Grandparents ), it been killing him not being able to take them out to playgroup, walks etc. No one is shielding or at high risk so we are exercising our own judgement. Initially my DH was on furlough and I was at the end of mat leave so we fully isolated; me going out once every 2-3 weeks do a huge shop only and having local walks for exercise. As the lockdown has changed, our circumstances have and we've had to adapt.
My DH has made it clear to his work that I am the primary earner and if they were unable to be flexible at all ( they are being OK at present) then he would be the one that would leave work.

My point is ( I think) that everyone is in a different situation, some people in impossible situations but just use your own judgement and deflecting anger towards other doesn't help anyone!

Do what you need to do. Can one of your parents not come to look after your son under the ‘providing care for a vulnerable person’ clause?

LOL at the poster above assuming everyone can just afford to employ a nanny. Privilege much?

Meanwhile get back onto school and push a bit harder for them to take your son - he should have a place. Sometimes you need to make a bit of a fuss.

I do believe this comes under the special care for children where you need to use your instinct especially if your parents are comfortable with it and are local/travel by car.

I haven't read the whole thread op but incase this hasn't been mentioned it is not up to your school to tell you your da is not vulnerable. Its not just children with social workers or ehcp that are vulnerable. Children without both of these are attending local schools near me because they are vulnerable for a whole host of reasons.
I would email the head of your ds school. I'm shocked that just because his ehcp has not been processed they won't allow him in. I do not think your lea or ss would be happy to hear this. I'm so sick of head teachers picking and choosing and making rules that fit their own narrative.

It must be really, really difficult for those with children, who need to return to work but who are having childcare problems.

But these two scenarios are not related. On top of that, schools are places of education, not childcare options primarily. Thirdly, and more importantly of all, although children themselves suffer very little with COVID, children are real spreaders of infection (ask any school worker how many normal coughs, colds and sickness they get as it goes around during term-time) and because of this schools have to be opened very, very slowly indeed.

In fact, schools should probably be last to open after everything else - for the above reasons - but that's unlikely as well, given the outcry from working parents.

Im sorry why can’t your parents take your kids? If needed as childcare then it’s fine and exactly what parents across the country are doing as the alternative is having no job.

I'd ignore the 'guidelines' and find another household that can share childcare. I would then say that I had to add in the interests of my children and for the family good.
Just do it.

Honestly I'd just ask your parents anyway if they are willing. It's far more important that you keep your job. The amount of much larger breaches going on at the moment, I doubt it will make any difference now anyway.

Email the LA and your MP copying in the school. State your child is about to be awarded an EHCP but because they haven’t got one just yet due to school loosing the application you’re about to lose your job. Explain you have one keyworker parent but as it stands this isnt enough for a school place. You need a school place to be able to work. What can be done to sort this issue?

As PP say, travel for caring responsibilities has been allowed throughout and might help you here but won't help all women in your situation.

Helen Lewis wrote about this subject a month or two back and took a lot of stick for it at the time (apparently it wasn't the right time to talk about women's rights but then when is it ever?). I think she was spot on in the likely regression of women's progress in the workplace.

www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2020/03/feminism-womens-rights-coronavirus-covid19/608302/

The bubble rule is to prevent people being entirely alone for months. The impact of lockdown is far harsher on those who live alone and I'm extremely glad they are now being thought about. Long term loneliness is awful for physical and mental health.

Obviously if all households can bubble the risk is far higher, so the government needs to draw the line somewhere.

I think your argument is with the school. Your situation ought to have been provided for by them.

Break the rules, I would.

I'm sorry you are finding it tough - but I don't see any connection with your situation and social bubbles for single people? Why on earth would you be furious at that - that's extremely unreasonable.
Disappointed that this particular loosening doesn't help you - sure, but furious about it? Your posts seems to be suggesting that you believe that your need to work trumps other peoples mental health. I'm sure you don't - you are just frustrated - but that is how it reads.

Be furious with the government telling you that you can't have childcare support from your family, while saying it was perfectly reasonable for their own staff to drive hundreds of km (with covid) to get exactly that. Then do as they suggest - follow your instincts and get the help you need in whatever way you can (your parents/other parents in same situation etc).

I know I’m going to get shouted down but in these circumstances we just have to do what’s right for us individually. The numbers are falling dramatically every day in spite of suspected spikes through out the lockdown.

If my job was on the line I’d be reaching out to other people to see if we can join together for childcare.

Women are 100% being thrown u see the bus here. Men will keep their jobs because typically the do earn more. Whether it’s higher wages or full time compared to mothers only working part time or around school hours.

I wouldn’t let the government put me in financial difficulties if I could help it

What would u be doing if it were summer holidays?

heartsonancake It should be any two households, not one single and one any size. We shouldn’t be prioritising single people. There’s no need.

Don't be so utterly selfish. Of course there's a need! People living alone haven't been allowed within 2m of anyone else for months! Its a rule aimed at allowing basic normal human contact for this segment of the population. Something other people, like you, have had all along!

They've presumably included single parents, not due to low risk (many household members) but due to single parents' more urgent need for chidcare/support.

How dare people complain about single people being allowed what they've been allowed all along.

The rules are essentially unpoliceable and unenforceable now. Compliance was already on the wane before Cumgate, and the rose garden speech was the death knell. If I were in your position OP my parents would be looking after the DC. Especially as it's arguably permitted within the regulations anyway.

Your not being unreasonable to question the impact on your family and you are correct that it is likely the pandemic and restrictions will probably impact women’s financial life/career greater than men as they are more likely to be primary carers for children.

However I don’t think you needed to questions the single person bubble option. I’m glad people in that situation have the option to see others now.

@Waveysnail

What would u be doing if it were summer holidays?

I don’t know about OP but my kids would be going in summer clubs - which are not open

Yes, I think the childcare situation and the impact this is having on women as a class should be considered as an issue in it's own right, not as something to be defined and run in relation to the bubbles for single people.