Support bubbles aibu to be furious.....

[TriciaH]

So basically an adult living alone or single parent can go into another's house. Great for them if they have been alone for 10 weeks. However two working parents both due back into work, one is a lorry driver but schools now have no space for the children as year groups gone back to school mean no room cannot ask for help with kids. One parent is likely going to have to give up work as we have 3 months before the remote chance the children go back to school which still is only likely to be part time. What the heck are we working parents supposed to do.

Am I unreasonable to think the government need to come up with a plan to help keep us mums in our jobs because let's face it we are going to be the ones at home with the kids giving up our career? This is going to put us on a back foot with employers for years.

My son has been going back to my Mum's for childcare since June 1st. I've run out of annual leave and need to work, DH is self employed and needs to work

My Mum is 65 and Dad is 61, no underlying health conditions and happy to have him. They don't go anywhere or see anyone except for shopping. I don't go anywhere or see anyone except shopping and work

We weighed up the risks and made the best decision for us given the position we're in and we're all happy with it

Do what you need to do. Perhaps one grandparent could come to your home rather than your children going to theirs. We all have to make the right decision that works for our families.

Just do it anyway, like alot of us who've had to work out of home have been doing all along

If you have family that are willing to provide childcare then in all honesty I wouldn't wait for the government to give you permission to use this. Just do it. I was following the rules to the letter initially but I've realised the government doesn't know what it's doing and we need to make decisions based on our circumstances now.
I'm a single parent, a nurse, I'm grateful I can access key-worker provision , but does the government really think nurses work Monday - Friday 9am - 3pm which is what childcare I now have official access to!? Of course we don't, so I've been having to break lock down for months and send the children to family- no other options.

I agree with you OP. The fallout of this pandemic has been women and especially women at work. It’s atrocious.

I don’t understand how you didn’t get a place at the school.
You have one parent who is a key worker and a child in the process of getting an ECHP.
You should have had a place since day 1.
I appreciate they have their own priority system but if it were me and I knew there was a chance I could lose my job I wouldn’t have left it until the middle of June to start kicking up a fuss.
I’m not surprised your employer is losing sympathy.

Speak to the employer and ask for increased flexibility to allow for a lap over time or to remain wfh.
It's not the government's issue that you cannot look after your children.

Not enough thought has been given to our children in all this. We've been struggling to both WFH and look after a 2 and 4 year old. They are neglected. The other day my 4 year old asked if she gave me the money she got for her birthday could I stop working and play with her 💔
Their nursery reopens in 3 weeks and when I told her she could go back soon she was beyond excited, jumping up and down and cuddling me. It's been awful for all of us. I just hope she can start school in September and things are normal.

You ask ‘What the heck are we working parents supposed to do?’

Could I remind you that many single parents also work? Therefore they are likely facing all the same childcare/work issues that you are, but without anyone to ‘tag team’ with and without any other emotional support.

Surely the vulnerable person clause covers your parents caring for your son while your at work.
He's a vulnerable person, they are at yours providing care. Sorted.

Did the Dominic Cummings thing not teach anyone anything?

Do what you need to. Be sensible, but do what you need to.

You need food on the table, you need childcare. Find a way to get these things.

I agree completely OP, it's really tough.

We are allowed into other homes to provide care. Surely this would cover your parents caring for your child for a few hours while you work? He can't be left alone, he can't go to school, and you can't be there (as you're at work) so I'd just do it.

If your child has a diagnosis then they should still be able to attend school in the vulnerable category. School can take anyone with or without EHCP If they feel the child fits criteria.

Also you are allowed to visit to care for a vulnerable person so I would get your Mum to come and look after him on that basis.

"That means that when decisions are made, they will benefit some more than others.
I appreciate the situation is difficult for you, but you'll gain nothing by moaning"

Apart from bring astonishingly unsupportive, its nitbactually true. A lot of government decisions during this crisis seem to hav e been made on the basis of certain groups "moaning" loudest.

OP, it's important that mothers parents are heard for exactly the reasons you state. Write to your MP.

There will always be some people who benefit more than others from the lifting of restrictions, they can’t take into account every individuals situation. Single parents generally do need more support, if they work that is the only way of any income coming into the household. A lot will still have the same childcare issues anyway. This will massively help those who live totally alone though, as they can have some companionship now, and the risk is minimal....far less chances of picking up/transmitting than a family with two adults forming a bubble with another family with two adults.

I can see your point OP

Just to add, childcare/education is a separate issue to this bubble announcement, and I agree with you, strongly feel something should be done about this.

The other day my 4 year old asked if she gave me the money she got for her birthday could I stop working and play with her

@Oysterbabe I'm so sorry, that's completely heartbreaking.

Are you really going to lose your job to blindly follow the guidelines? At this stage, after reading tons about the figures etc. I decided to allow my mum and dad to provide childcare for dd. They were desperate to see her, and at any time now my mum will be back working in a classroom anyway which makes a mockery of my dd not being allowed near her. (I agree with schools opening, but not at the same time as grandparents being banned from seeing grandchildren). Plus my db lives with my parents and his dc have had their usual contact at their house so there's no way for them not to mix households anyway!

I thought grandparents were now allowed to provide childcare? In any case, if all parties are willing and well I don't understand why you would not do this.

We are looking after our pre school grandchildren so my daughter and son in law can work. Why can't you do that? Yes technically it may be against the rules but at this stage we have to use some common sense. We are all isolating (daughter and son in law working from home) and DH and I are not vulnerable. Surely if your husband is a lorry driver he is not at massive risk of catching the virus and your parents are not in the vulnerable group but as you say after 10 weeks in some cases it is impossible to work if you are also doing childcare for some groups of children and an ASDS child surely fits in that group. Don't lose your job for the sake of following some ill thought out rules. If childminders and nannies can work then your parents can look after your son.

Oh @TriciaH stop moaning, seriously.

Seems a lot of people like using grandparents for free childcare.

You are allowed to have a nanny. Employ one.

My kids go to my mother in laws while we work, they have been since last week. I stuck to the rules until then but I need to get back to normal. Do what’s right for you and fuck everyone else’s opinion.

What has this got to do with the fact the my dp lives in one house and I (technically, I've been down here a few weeks but need to return to work) live 140 miles away. He's alone I'm single parent (technically, kids at university)