Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Coronaviurus to be past caring that for one day i was unreasonable

227 replies

Pixiemame · 10/06/2020 21:42

So it was my DM’s 60th birthday at the weekend. We had a family holiday booked to portugal to celebrate which was obviously cancelled. Me my dh and our 2 children haven’t seen family apart from parents at the bottom of my front garden 3 or 4 times and the same with my sister and her 2 children. At the weekwnd we decided to go round to our parents house to celebrate DM’s birthday. We didn’t hug but we did sit inside the house for a while and in the garden. We had a few drinks (2 or 3) each, took some photos, some of which i uploaded to facebook. We all had our own plastic cups and cutlery, paper plates and napkins that we brought from our own houses, along with food we made at home. I know i may have been unreasonable but AIBU to be past caring? I haven’t taken my kids to the beach, they aren’t going bacl to school, they haven’t been anywhere near a park or supermarket and none of my family are high risk. Like a lot of people we have all been pretty miserable and myself very very low and anxious, so to spend 2/3 hours with my family was amazing. Call me selfish if you like but i do not regret it.

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 11/06/2020 09:59

@Pixiemame

To be honest i didn’t really think about it. But then i wouldn’t usually go through my entire friends list and consider their feelings before i post things. If we’d done group photos all hugging or photos of all of us inside really close together (we didn’t) and i posted them to Facebook then yes i’d probably expect some negative reactions.
Not even the feelings of the people who stuck to the rules while their relatives died?
AdelaideK · 11/06/2020 09:59

I don't see a problem with your party but I wouldn't have put it on Facebook.

Original poster
Pixiemame · 11/06/2020 10:03

Yes i underatand that. However, the friend of mine who publicly pulled me up hasn’t experienced anything like this. I agree it is heartbreaking, but this kind of thing has been happening since the start of lockdown, you know when i was sticking to the rules religiously, so pleaae don’t try and put this on me. I only have family, close friends and a couple of old work/uni friends on Facebook, none of whom have suffered such a tragic loss, thankfully. If they had then i would have hidden my post from them, so not to upset them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pixiemame · 11/06/2020 10:04

It wasn’t a party. It was close family coming together for a couple of hours to see our DM on her birthday. There was no music we weren’t loud and we disturbed no one.

OP posts:
understandmenow · 11/06/2020 10:05

OP AIBU

MN YABU

OP No I'm not, I'm going now! Now I'm coming back and arguing with the majority again. It's different for me, the rules don't apply to me, I can do what I want blah blah!

Why bloody ask?

Pumperthepumper · 11/06/2020 10:05

@Pixiemame

Yes i underatand that. However, the friend of mine who publicly pulled me up hasn’t experienced anything like this. I agree it is heartbreaking, but this kind of thing has been happening since the start of lockdown, you know when i was sticking to the rules religiously, so pleaae don’t try and put this on me. I only have family, close friends and a couple of old work/uni friends on Facebook, none of whom have suffered such a tragic loss, thankfully. If they had then i would have hidden my post from them, so not to upset them.
You cannot possibly know what they’ve experienced. Your friend might have been the only one who said it but I guarantee others had the same reaction. You’ve been really selfish.
Original poster
Pixiemame · 11/06/2020 10:07

And your of course you’re entitled to call me selfish. It doesn’t mean i have to agree with you though.

OP posts:
understandmenow · 11/06/2020 10:07

You've no real idea what they're experiencing @Pixiemame, whilst they themselves might not have suffered a loss, their friends and family members may well have done.

I'm not sure why you've asked AIBU, you really will not listen.

Jellybeansincognito · 11/06/2020 10:08

Why are you referring to people on beaches etc?
Transmission is lower outside and that’s why we are allowed to go to the beach and spend time in people’s gardens.
Not inside.

Do what you like but I don’t know how people can live with themselves for the risk they’re inflicting on their parents.

Stop trying to justify it also.

Pumperthepumper · 11/06/2020 10:09

@Pixiemame

And your of course you’re entitled to call me selfish. It doesn’t mean i have to agree with you though.
But it doesn’t matter if you agree - you said yourself you didn’t think about anyone’s feelings. You were selfish. Not even to go to the party, you can take that risk if you like, but to post on Facebook - definitely selfish.
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 11/06/2020 10:09

@Pixiemame

And your of course you’re entitled to call me selfish. It doesn’t mean i have to agree with you though.
And your friend doesn't agree with you and you don't agree with her and most of us don't agree with what you did.

So, there we are. We all have an opinion. You post on Facebook or on here and people voice that opinion. If you don't want people to judge you or have an opinion about what you did don't post on SM

ArriettyJones · 11/06/2020 10:09

@Pixiemame

But why shouldn't i be able to post what i like on facebook? For fear of upsetting or offending people? I've seen worse things going on that has been posted on soical media that maybe i don't agree with 100% but i didn't comment. It's none of my business what other people chose to do. I'm not looking trying to justify what i did at all.
Don’t be so disingenuous. You knew it was against guidelines, you did it anyway, which was a choice available to you, but you must have known perfectly well that putting photographs on SM was completely unnecessary and would invite comment. So deal with it.
ArriettyJones · 11/06/2020 10:10

@Pixiemame

And your of course you’re entitled to call me selfish. It doesn’t mean i have to agree with you though.
ConfusedHmm
Original poster
Pixiemame · 11/06/2020 10:10

I am listening though. I’ve agreed with the fact people are entitled to their opinion, and if they want to resort to childish name calling, then so be it. All I have said is that no one has the right to demand an explanation with regards to a decision that they made.

OP posts:
Popc0rn · 11/06/2020 10:11

Tbh I think your friend just said what most people who saw that on Facebook were probably thinking.

The reason you're meant to stay outside at a social distance is because the risk of transmission outside is much lower than inside. It's good that you brought your own food, drink and cutlery, but all people saw on Facebook was you sat inside with your family, which is a bit of a kick in the teeth for people who are still following the rules.

You say you don't need Boris telling you what to do, fair enough. But you also say that you and your family are low risk. Low risk isn't no risk, I know of people who have died from covid who in their 30s/40s who didn't have any health conditions.

Pumperthepumper · 11/06/2020 10:12

@Pixiemame

I am listening though. I’ve agreed with the fact people are entitled to their opinion, and if they want to resort to childish name calling, then so be it. All I have said is that no one has the right to demand an explanation with regards to a decision that they made.
Not even if you goad them into it?
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 11/06/2020 10:13

She does have that right though. Just as you have the right to reply, telling her you don't have to answer to her. Or you have the right to ignore her, or delete her comment or block her.

You also have the right to comment on her posts.

You can't control what other people say or do. That's the downside of SM isn't it?

Original poster
Pixiemame · 11/06/2020 10:13

I get your point Popc0rn.

OP posts:
ArriettyJones · 11/06/2020 10:13

You’re on a wind up here aren’t you OP?

luckylavender · 11/06/2020 10:14

It's up to you what you do I guess. But you were breaking the law & you posted pictures on SM inviting comment. Honestly I don't have much sympathy. You've seen your family more than once. My parents live in Wales & are in their 80s. DS at the other side of the country. Haven't seen any of them since Christmas & don't know when I will. And it's because of all the small transgressions that people like you make because your case is special that it will take longer and longer. Makes my blood boil actually.

Jellybeansincognito · 11/06/2020 10:16

Also how can you not think you’re selfish op?

There’s nurses and doctors living in hotel rooms whilst they try and save people’s lives from this.

What gives you the right to go and sit with your family when no one else is allowed?
And to then have the nerve to be annoyed when someone rightly so pulls you up on it.

Hopefully you’ve not unknowingly passed on coronavirus to your parents and you lose one or both of them, which has happened to people who have sadly behaved as selfishly as you.

Your actions also lengthen the time we all spend in this misery, follow the rules next time.

Original poster
Pixiemame · 11/06/2020 10:17

Yes I suppose that is the downside of SM. I just couldn’t get over the audacity of her. We all judge things in life but like I said up thread you can always scroll on and keep your opinions to yourself. If I’m being honest this person has been a bit of a nightmare and I’d been considering going low contact with her anyway. She judges everyone and thinks that she is perfect when in reality this is far from the truth. I don’t even bother try to pretend that I’m perfect or better than everyone else because I’m not. Can’t stand people like this.

OP posts:
SudokuBook · 11/06/2020 10:18

I haven’t broken the rules yet but I don’t blame you at all. This shite has gone on long enough and the British people have given up enough for something that isn’t their problem to sort in the first place.

Haffiana · 11/06/2020 10:19

Live by Social Media. Die by Social Media.

understandmenow · 11/06/2020 10:20

Yes I suppose that is the downside of SM. I just couldn’t get over the audacity of her.

Oh the irony of someone who broke the rules and flaunts it on Facebook and talks about audacity 😂

*She judges everyone and thinks that she is perfect when in reality this is far from the truth. I don’t even bother try to pretend that I’m perfect or better than everyone else because I’m not. Can’t stand people like this.
*
Hilarious, like you judged people going to the beach who aren't breaking the rules?

Swipe left for the next trending thread